#BlogLife371 - I'll never be who you want.....Mr Z

Hi I'm Pilar and you've met me before, several times in fact. You know that I'm respectful polite, punctual (mostly) and truthful so what about me screams pushover??

I haven't lied. I haven't exaggerated, why do you think you can manipulate into saying or doing something that would make sicker??

You told me to check something out that isn't feasible in any way shape or form and then you asked me a question that has been repeated practically every time I've seen you.

WTF! Why? Am I suddenly going to announce my long term permanent un-curable health conditions have suddenly departed???

I have 10 minutes where I can stand and that's it. Afterwards my body starts shutting down and I'm done.

It's like you're saying I know best. Except that you don't. I know my body and what it's capable of sustaining.

At least meet my halfway you colossal waste of space!! Nothing you are saying or doing benefits me but I promised someone I would give you a fair chance.

Crimity!!! Can't you show me an ounce of respect? I've been laughing at the outlandish venues you want me to trapse too.

They aren't even nearby there are off in different cities. I don't even drive and even if I did, I still wouldn't attempt it.

I'm not looking to strain my body and add further stress to my life so why the hell are you??

Why are recommended people for those that struggle with disabilities the absolute worst people in the world???

Why are we treated as though we are able bodied and the same as regular folk??

My face is constantly contorted in pain and discomfort. I'm not faking that. My face is smothering yelps.

What about that disposition tells you I am capable of what you're demanding that I do??

At least I am doing activities that are feasible and accomplishing what I set out to do, which is more than enough to keep you happy.

I'd like to see anyone of you advisors stuck in hospital or a bed for months unable to move and see what kind of person that turns you into.

Yes at times I fell apart absolutely I can freely admit that but I also put myself back together.

I could barely move my limbs at one point, certainly not enough to even take my lenses out for days and then when I finally removed them, I wasn't able to put them back in.

Life was literally a blur but I'm stronger than you give me credit for, hell that I give me credence for.

I've been through a hell of a lot but I'm able to get on each day and write, write and write some more.

Sometimes it's the only thing I look forward to doing and other times it's satisfying taking a break.

My point I'm not going to let you make me feel bad for underperforming.

I'm doing just great and in fact I am impressed at my efforts in dealing with some very challenging tasks and passing them with relative ease.