#BlogLife687 - First Popeye's experience in the UK

I'm curious about the KFC UK and Popeye's comparison. I think I read or heard or saw that our fried chicken is softer and the American one is more crispier...

I doubt I will make it for the breakfast eggy muffin, I think that stops around 11am?!

But the other thing I want to see is if they over batter the wings, it ruins the taste for me, I think because it's overcooked and tough.

It's local to me so I don't have to go out of my way to get it, but it's going to depend on how busy they are, if I can wait around to be served.

The pain has been building since the weekend or maybe just before and I don't want to make it worse.

Popeye's just opened so it's going to be a huge novelty gimmick and I'm not sure there is another fried chicken place in the immediate area..

I'll try to take some images for Twitter but it depends on how wrecked I am, when I get back indoors.

I also ponder if they use paper bags or easier to carry plastic ones, the paper ones will kill my hands.

I'll stop in at my favourite shop and pick up dessert or drinks, as they have huge sturdy bags.

Back home and it's been a disaster. I popped into Popeye's to get my order but I think it's self checkout only and I despise faffing around with machines, plus there were a few people queueing and by the time I got home it would be cold.

Luckily or so I thought, it was on Just Eat, I placed the order to try a bit of everything and have leftovers, a burger, some wings, some tenders and lastly the wrap.

I don't hear the bike or car specifically but the tracking says delivered and it isn't to my place, where I've given helpful address hints.

Just Eat doesn't have a number you can speak to anyone anymore which sucks.

I go online and request a complete refund and they say they will get back to me.

Whichever neighbour is dishonest enough to receive a free meal and not say, sorry wrong address, I didn't order this, is just horrible, I wouldn't do that.

Ugh, so much corruption in this world. I decided to just order from my sweet local cafe and they always know me and give me surplus too.

I'm too tired to move. Sorry I couldn't give you a review but I really did try.

The pain is still bad. The only positive note for today is that I finally got my Yash lip balm duo.

It has a hint of strawberries, is easy to squeeze out, it's like a creamy lotion, it's nice, I wiped it off so that I could munch and my mouth is still soft.

I'm not sure how effective it will be for the chapping but the initial sample is pleasant so I will update you later on in the month.

#BlogLife686 - Tickle your tastebuds

Sorry about the lack of BlogLife on Thursday. I feel like I'm stressed without being stressed, probably makes no sense but I feel agitated.

Casting that aside I bought some new things to try from Iceland. I don't know if I've tried these before, I don't think so..

But Cofresh were out of the normal bombay mix so I decided to try Shalimar's version for £1.20, 200g bag and it actually has cashews in it.

Wonderful plus is not excessively salty or peppery, it's lovely and understated. Although there isn't much, there are still a lot of peanuts contained inside.

I also got Pop and Pip still flavoured strawberry and raspberry 4x 330ml lil bottles for £1.50, they are sugar free and lightly deliciously flavoured but I actually thought they were sparkling, boo.

I also got the lemon and lime flavour but I haven't tried that yet. There was also Aquaroma 1 litre bottle for 75p which is good, I haven't tried that either.

The rest was Naked Thai sweet chilli egg noodles so I don't know if it's egg flavoured or made with eggs, not tried that version before, sounded interesting.

Plus Maggi Malaysian chicken noodles, not sampled this brand before, the reviews looked good, so I will see if it's yummy or not.

I haven't got a huge appetite at the moment, whether hormone related or weather, I'm just enjoying the orange lollies and ice poles mainly.

I did get some Frangipani almond cakes which I haven't had for years I don't think, they are lovely and soft.

Just tried the Aquaroma, that is great, enough citrus, not too sweet, no bitterness, it's no added sugar but contains sweeteners.

I haven't been too keen on Iceland's flavoured water range but good to check out new brands. Well, new to me.

Oh my, peeled the lid for the Naked noodles and instantly coughed, pepper just hit me in the face. Oof.

I drowned it in water and am cooking it for 6 minutes and then just going to leave it to set for a bit.

It's not strong, mildly spicy which is flavourful. A hint of eggyness, not recommended on a hot day but I would definitely get it again, it's a good fulling snack, that's seasoned properly.

I tried the Maggi noodles yesterday, it's tasty and soft but nothing special, just tastes like the others.

I would rather get the cheaper brands and save money.

#BlogLife685 - I'm not really here, still retreating

I can't work out earbuds at all. I was just on a call and have been using the newest earbuds sparingly for calls only..

But at the other end, she said it was a bad line and could hardly hear my words.

I switched to the old earbuds and she heard me so clearly. That's so weird, it should be the other way around.

She was saying the bills have switched to an automated online system, pffft they are fading out people, no wonder, there is hardly anyone about when I call up.

When it comes to paying bills, I would rather talk to someone and have peace of mind that it's paid, what if the online system crashes??

I've also got receipts emailed to me, to cover my bases, which is reassuring. I declined the offer.

I just had a lemon ice pole, it melted so quickly ha, my drink is already warm also.

At the moment I'm having this recurring daydream where I'm going through all the stages of a relationship, maybe my brain is hinting to write fiction.

Holy cow. Last night Chromebook had an update and I thought Oh No, what are they messing with now??

But they returned the flipping scrollbar in discord, I had to use my phone to move the page around, this is so much better.

Idiots!! At long last, they shouldn't have removed it in the first place, the youtube one still remains hidden and for most pages to see it, I still have to refresh the sodding page.

I'd doing a strange midweek mud mask as my face is horribly oily and bumpy at the moment, I hate when it's like this.

Even though I'm skipping periods, maybe it's hormonal? I just finished the last of the Dove moisturiser, it was ok, it smelled lovely but I don't feel it did anything special.

I'm going back to my Neutrogena. I was just thinking about food, nothing new there..

And how I'm taking a break from cheese and enjoying the free range eggs, apparently much healthier and high in nutrients.

Then I was thinking about the first time I tried sweet mustard. I was never keen on the regular sort, it seemed too spicy and strong for my liking.

I was in Iceland (the island) and I don't know if it was a bbq or we ordered them but I recall being in the kitchen, with the various condiments and I typically just reach for the ketchup but I wondered what this yellow bottle was.

Americany sweet mustard was the reply and it sounded horrifying to me but I was encouraged to try it and probably reluctantly maybe I smeared a tiny bit on the veggy, meat or chicken dogs.

I have no idea which sort they were but I think I liked them. In Canada I was introduced to Vienna sausages which I enjoyed at first and then went off, or maybe or was a different brand?

Anyway I don't know what the flavour was, as it was decades ago but I recall grabbing the bottle and spreading a heap of it on there, as it was unlike anything I had ever tried before.

I think there was a pink bottle too but the memory fades. This is all because of Popeyes and us becoming more Americany,

I remember going abroad and returning with a lip balm that four times as big as our slender ones and everyone was fascinated by it but I didn't really see the big deal about it.

#BlogLife684 - What was your favourite slush puppy?

I don't even recall all the flavours. I think the purple one was grape, not sure what the red one was.

I'm not even sure if I tried them all but the blue crushed ice syrup one, raspberry was my favourite, it was basically sugar water.

But refreshing on a hot summers day walking outside. I'm reminiscing because Mr Freeze just brought out the solely blue raspberry flavour of ice poles.

20x for £1.50 which is great value. It doesn't taste the same, which is a good thing as it contains way less sugar which is healthier but it's still delicious.

I don't know how but I still remember the taste from my childhood, maybe because it's associated with rare happy memories of having no responsibilities and just aimlessly walking or of exiting the pool from a glorious swim and craving a drink.

I don't even know what the cost was. I'm pretty sure there was no citrus flavours, otherwise that probably would have been a tie favourite. 

The weather is still crazy, warm, summy and cold. I'm still under the blankie but it's on low. 

Still no sign of my tweezers or lip balms unfortunately but the Bank Holiday delays everything.

I'm watching this cute lil min series Mrs Sidhu Investigates with Meera Syal about this widow who has these cute lil random chats with her deceased parents and hubby.

They had a range of series with elderly fems who were sharp minded and keen to assist the Police ha, this one is funny and lighthearted.

#BlogLife683 - Chatty chicks watching flicks 11 - Too Close To Home

Good afternoony :) How are you doing? I feel lighter and happier than I have in a long while.

I'm very bloated but there was no nausea so I'm just sipping ribena and I just had a glorious nap as I woke up early for the groceries.

Iceland had a new make of chicken samosa and chicken spring rolls. £4.50 each and 18 contained inside.

It's not bad as it will last me a while, I hope it's not too spicy though.

They are cooking at the moment, I figure 20 minutes should do it. For breakfast I cooked the chapati and cracked eggs on top and then put a chapati over it and it was delicious.

Next time I will just add some butter on the surface. Oh I am getting to like that Heinz sriracha sauce, it's very mild and I'm thinking maybe that spice will knock out this feverish feeling I'm going through.

I just finished the Delia White vitamin C face wash. It was slightly moisturising but I wouldn't recommend it for combination skin.

It did not remove or prevent blemishes, I kept breaking out and it did nothing to stop it.

Now I am using the Nivea hydra skin effect face gel and oh crikey the price.

I bought it on sale for £2.62 which is fine but the original price is £5.25, there is no way I would pay that for 150ml bottle.

The scent seems fine but generic, nothing I can place. It applies and rinses easily.

Afterwards my whole face felt smooth and deeply cleansed.

The Desime samosa and the spring roll and really spicy, it's not my type of taste, it could have done with more seasoning and less pepper.

I won't be buying it again, my face is all red and warm.

This should be a Chatty Chicks but I have to talk about the show Too Close To Home..

I like/hate it because of the trashyness of it. Season one, has mainly a white cast and I thought ok, that's different for a Tyler Perry show.

Then season two introduces black characters which made me laugh, why now??

Tyler's recurring theme is always abuse, so I was waiting for that but none seemed to occur until the end when the secrets were revealed and you think.......

Ahhh that's why you act like that. Three sisters, one is a drug addict, one is on the surface together, but chooses a bad brother instead of a good one.

The other has an affair with the President and is under his control but plays the victim too.

How do you go from brother to brother, sister to sister, there's no-one else you could fall in love with but your current/exes siblings??

Yuckity, that's what I mean by the trashyness of it. I wanna see how it ends though, who ends up with whom.

I want to like Brodie one of the brothers that is a love interest, he seems like a good guy but then he keeps flirting with them both and has slept with them both.

None of the males seem wholesome really and maybe that is what is missing.

If there are bad characters, there has to be equally good ones. You have to root for someone.

I think it was interesting when Bonnie broke up with Brodie and she said, You're too good for me, you're going to hurt me.

And he said I would never do that, you're distrustful because I treat you right, where my brother always harms you, yet you seem to prefer that and it's really messed up.

At this point in my life I wouldn't recognise a good guy either. I would question everything he said and did.

Why are you being nice? What are you after? Just hurry up and show your true colours so I can dump you etc etc.

I just think when you've experienced bad things and bad people, it's hard to be vulnerable and let someone in, to let them see you raw and unguarded.

I feel like Bonnie doesn't feel she deserves happiness, maybe a big part of it is guilt, that she couldn't protect herself and her sisters and just feels unclean and too damaged or like she will be judged.

The thought processes always fascinate me as a woman and as someone that has had a rough childhood.

Oh the last thing I wanted to add, which made me cringe so hard, was that one gay guy was involved in a hate crime that he didn't deserve but incited himself.

But luckily he was being taken care of by Brodie and his papa and instead of being grateful and respectful, he was disgustingly flirty.

To someone that didn't have to take you in and look after you and you're supposedly happily off the market, he did so much nonstop sleazy flirting.

Ick, I found that revolting. Luckily Brodie as uncomfortable as he was, took it with a pinch of salt.

Kinda reminded me of when I was trying to support females and they were inappropriately chatting me up, relentlessly, I felt so exploited.

Why is it so difficult to be faithful and respect people???

#BlogLife682 - Nandos give new meaning to the word Lazy!

I think every bone and muscle in my body is shattered. The pedicure and triple massage was delightful though.

He was very friendly and thorough, during the scrub and cream feet and leg massage and wasn't too rough but my body started stiffening up and now it's a lil tender.

Oh oops, I was wrong about Popeyes opening today, ha, it's tomorrow so hopefully at some point I will try out the cheese and egg muffin thingy majiggy, unless it's only served in the mornings, we shall see.

No sign of the lip balms yet, the tweezers haven't been despatched either, although I don't know if today's Postie has come and gone as it's only 2pm and yesterday I think he came at 3pm...

I feel really skittish around that barking dog/s still so I decided to crank up the music, it's giving me so much stress but even though I'm hurting my poor eardrums I didn't hear it bark/pseudo chase me.

Everyone seems to be mumbling today or maybe my ears have given up. When I went to get the veggy pakoras there wasn't much left and this was at 10.30am.

Wow they are popular! I was trying to ask him what time they made them and he just mumbled something I couldn't understand so I left it and just bought the remainder ha.

I split it with Mama and asked for the dip and maybe he gave me the remainder because there was about 5 or 6 in the bag lol.

But she loves it so will enjoy it or freeze it for another time. I also got some ladoos, gulabs for a nice dessert later.

Now onto the title. I don't think Mama has been to my local branch before, her one she said were very kind and accommodating to her needs.

Mine was a whole rude disaster area. I think the price was about £22 and I treated her because she, like me, isn't feeling the greatest.

Anyway, I ordered a grilled chicken pitta and a fanta, £8 for a small meal and a whopping £4 for the drink with free refills.

She wanted spicy rice, broccoli and wings so that must have been about £12.

I feel sorry that she couldn't enjoy her usual hot drink because there was a limited selection, ice tea and soft drinks.

We sat down, the waitress handed us one measly menu and said we had to come to the front to order.

Ummm are we at a drive through? Loads of waiters milling about and you can't take an order and bring drinks?

Ick! So we left our belongings vulnerable to thieves and traipsed to the front, at this point, we are both, famished and dead on our feet.

Then they want the bloody table number. We go back, find it out and then wait and wait.

She then directs us, vaguely pointing to a direction, the drinks are help yourself, somewhere over there.

That's my snapping point because I see nowhere that could be a drinks station so I bring the empty glasses back to the table, doing their crappy job for them.

And I start cursing because I'm frustrated and the pains building.

Mama mia actually discovered it and at that point, I wanted to punch all the staff in the face for being unfriendly, unhelpful and just LAZY!!!

Fast forward about 10-15 minutes later, where small portions arrive as seen on my Twitter @SleeplessScrib1.

The food was barely warm, the chicken was tough and overcooked, the lemon and herb marinade was tasty.

But I ate a quarter and left the rest, it did not appeal and was not worth the price.

If they continue with the shoddy service they will not survive at all.

I do not recommend them. I would rather the simple but warm cafe, which offers a complete service and the food is piping hot, even though the place is always packed!!

Nandos was more than half empty. Yet they couldn't be bothered to heat up the food?

They were prioritising home delivery orders instead of the restaurant ones.

I couldn't hate them more, if I tried!!! Disgusting!! I will not be returning!

I came home and straight away ordered my sushi, the guy was mumbling but because he was out of the ramune drinks, he gave me a complimentary cheesecake thingy.

It looks like a small pancake, I would have given it to Mama, she loves that kinda thing and I'm such a dope.

I forgot to walk with the bag with all her snacks ughhh. I really want the drinks but I don't have the energy to pop it open.

I'll probably leave the sushi for tomorrow and have the pakoras instead, they are better fresh.

I still find it insane that they sell out that quickly and don't make several batches, only one.

It is better fresh but aren't they cutting their profits and disappointing customers?

Maybe people don't buy the pakoras that much but rather the vast array of desserts?

Mama gave me some chicken samosas and maybe pasta I think.

Oops forgot to add this bit, I was waiting for them to come around and ask if we needed anything or how the meal was?

Never ever happened, they couldn't care less! I would have given them a piece of my mind, how do you like being served cold food???

Oh and there wasn't cutlery or napkins on the table either, Yeesh, why even have staff, if the customer does it all themselves??

Fetch this and that, wonderful for anyone ill, entering the establishment, wanting a rest and then finding out, you serve your bloody self with cold food!!!

#BlogLife681 - RGP cleaner manufacturers are sadists!

Song of the day - Poonam Singh - Hold On

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3g5OMjXETg&list=PL_S79tzxwHpOjlynfkGbkx-UC99ltSAXW&index=66

It's been quite a morning, not that much nausea, but I went to clean my lenses and put them in and they have been burning for nearly half an hour, as some cleaner must have lingered.

Ugh, they still feel sensitive and burn slightly. Why do they have to make them so bloody strong? It's ridiculous how much they sting the eyes.

Woop I'm celebrating two months without a period. I'll probably come on this month but it's been heavenly.

That's how stressed I've been of late but I'm trying to get over it and actually just saying the words out loud yesterday to my acquaintance was incredibly satisfying.

I think it was the lack of pretence, that I usually offer up and this time I thought No, I'll come clean and say, there's a lot of personal angst at the moment.

She asked me if I was taking care of myself properly? I replied with a chuckle and said I was trying too...

I noticed that in the Market an old Poundland store is being replaced, they seemed popular, not sure how they went bankrupt?

Maybe it was the lack of personal service, they switched to the automated checkouts and to be honest, they put me off a lot.

Those things always fritz on me and it holds me up to wait for a person to assist me. I can't stand those machines.

Anyway, what is it being replaced with? A Popeyes restaurant. It's a big space so they can afford to not only offer a takeaway service but dine in also.

I've never been to one before and I think tomorrow is the grand opening and I wonder how much fanfare there will be.

There's normally a small fuss made when someone new arrives.

Not many businesses thrive there to be honest, except the banks and probably food services..

Although the place I really pine for is the bakery Percy Ingles, they did scrumptious cakes.

I guess depending on their prices, when it's viciously cutthroat, will be a factor on, if they survive.

It's really competitive, with Five Guys, Nandos, cheap cafes, Greggs and other places nearby offering reasonable-ish prices.

Plus there are a few KFC places scattered around and that has to be the main competition.

I wonder if there will be any vouchers or discounts for the first day?

I was looking at the menu and there is an egg and cheese muffin, that I have never tried, not even in McDonalds.

I always assumed it had a pork component to it. Actually I just realised there will probably be a huge crowd there and we are not the type to wait around.

I think the only time I did that was when the new Tmobile store opened and they did a raffle for prizes.

I wasn't lucky but it was a fun way to draw people in and I commend them for that.

I'm not sure if I'll wash my hair tomorrow, it's not greasy but it's completely flat.

#BlogLife680 - Precision tweezers - Unhelpful beauty tool

I can't remember when I bought the precision tweezers and if I did a comprehensive review but now that a lot of time has passed and I've just plucked, I can give an update.

They are the worst tools ever, why they are called Precision, is beyond me?!

It seems like a thicker surface which is not helpful to grip the tiny thin hairs and it misses half the time, so I spend longer, gripping them tightly, which for someone with chronic pain issues is not beneficial at all.

I just browsed and want to go back to my simple no-fuss plain original tweezers, which seem like they have a longer mouth bit and are slimmer so more effective overall.

I saw a cheap one for £1.75 which seems like my previous one which I really miss.

I've got a blunt one, which I think was Precision as well and a newer sharper one which is just useless and awful.

If the new one is the right fit, I will get a second backup and bin these other ones as I can't stand using something unproductive.

The quest for a lip balm continues and I saw an interesting offer, 2x £2 Yash herbal strawberry lip balm tubes.

I've not heard of this make but it says it is for chapped lips and I like that it is a squeezable version so I don't have to get my fingers soiled.

Plus strawberry is a great scent, it ticks all the boxes and the price is extremely cheap. It's 10g and I'll let you know how it works out when it arrives.

I just came back from the Market and picked up some drinks, it's surprisingly boiling outside, I had a coat on as they predicted rain and were wrong as usual.

I feel really dizzy and sicky today. As well as pmt hormones, I feel I have caught a chill, I feel totally off, even though I had a mini burst of energy and did my lil sexy strut today.

Now I just wanna lay down and sleep but first lunch, which is pizza later.

Oh an acquaintance of mine, which I didn't recognise as she looked youthful in her hijab (head scarf covering), was telling me that everyone is making comments, regarding it.

Ugh that disgusted me, to me she looks youthful and beautiful and I told her not to pay any attention, which she isn't.

But she really looked great. I've seen her wear a scarf before, but I guess she looked more conservative, anyway it suited her.

She relished the compliments and I said for me, people always have an opinion when I change my hair and I don't really care what they think, it's nobody else's business!

I was gonna mention that they commented on my weight also but it didn't really need to be added.

#BlogLife679 - Ocado Zooms customer service

I kept looking at my phone thinking, there is a call I need to make but I couldn't remember to whom it was, until today.

I knew that I wanted to make a Zoom mini shop and then I remembered they hadn't sent me my late delivery vouchers for free delivery for the next two orders.

Seeing as the Tesco and Iceland customer representatives were not helpful, I had lil hope that Ocado would be but it was still worth a chat.

I didn't wait that long to be answered, maybe a few minutes and considering it was the weekend and lunchtime, I thought that was cool.

I explained the situation and was waiting for the..... Empty, sorry nothing we can do, it can't be helped, response..

But instead he was genuinely apologetic and sent me the vouchers, without much fuss but also refunded me for the last two deliveries that I paid the full cost for.

I thought that was incredibly kind and more than I was expecting, plus it was instant.

£12 off was really worth getting in touch. I'm happy that it didn't pile onto my stress.

I got my chicken sushi, the mop and the pan and brush, which was the main reason for the order.

Plus some sparkling water drinks to try, in orange and apple flavours.

Just tried the Get More Sparkling vitamin C, it's 500ml, 5 calories per bottle and no bitter aftertaste woop.

Bit pricey at £1.65 and I wish the orange was a bit stronger but I highly recommend it, very refreshing and sweet enough.

Next I sampled the Pip sparkling apple 250ml can which was £1.55 ouchy.

I don't recommend it for the value, tiny can but the taste was nice, every so slightly tart but not enough to ruin the flavour.

Purely based on the cost, I would not get it again. The Get More Sparkling was way better, on all accounts.

The last thing was the vegan swedish meatballs from Oumph for £3.50 that were tasteless.

I wouldn't recommend them, they needed more seasoning, or any seasoning would have been great.

Vegan food is so hit and miss, some of it is great and other times, they can't be bothered how it turns out.

#BlogLife678 - Femerella will go to the ball

The postie brought me the slippers today and he always seem to say How are you?

To which I never know how to reply because I'm all over the place usually. I don't answer, just smile and say thanks and he wanders off cheerily.

The slippers are really soft and cosy, well they look and feel it, I haven't actually tried them on as yet.

It's back to raining here, which is strange because it was all sunny a moment ago but at least I can re-snuggle under the warm blankie.

I saw some vegan meatballs to try in Iceland, I don't know if I'll like them but it was something different and I didn't fancy the beef version.

I'm glad the chapatis were in stock though, I just bought two lots as they were on offer and maybe just a temporary availability.

I saw that Ocado Zoom has the pan and brush and a basic mop that Iceland doesn't so I might just get it from there, as I hate carrying bulky items.

I forgot to get some tissues and it's like every product is downsizing, there is less and less contained inside and yet the prices skyrocket grr.

Ocado always sends me the offers when I don't need to do a shop and then when they are expired, I suddenly recall what I need from them.

Re-watching La Femme Nikita from scratch I remember what I loved about it, Michael was such a bastard lol.

The chemistry between him and Nikita was great but his hot/cold, affectionate and then distance frustrated me to no end.

He was quick to be jealous but not enough to reassure her of his sentiments ha.

I feel calmer today, maybe the nap helped. I cleared out the freezer of all the things I didn't fancy and it was so much that the bin bag broke.

Ugh I'll never understand my eating habits. Lots of waste but I can't force myself to eat it either.

I haven't decided if I should revert the unfinished stories back to draft or do you like seeing them randomly updated?

On one hand it feels wrong to publish them without it being completed and on the other hand, at least I can try and gage how much interest they are gathering...

If I put them back to drafts, hidden away, I might never finish them, at least the guilt keeps haunting me to complete some, especially the Fighting Fate one...

I haven't done the face brush in ages, my face feels as though I just removed a face mask, all deeply cleansed.

#BlogLife677 - Is Nando's worth a trip?

I've just done the last of the beauty treatments, trimmed my hair, manicured my nails, shaping and filing them and done the hair removal, ha, you'd think I was getting ready for a date..

I'm back to feeling stressed, I think it's the thought of more strangers invading my home, for when they install the smart meter and run the checks, it just gives me an eerie feeling.

I ordered some slippers yesterday, they had some adorable shades, a purply blue one and the red was a favourite and not a colour I often see, so I went ahead with that one.

I can't tell what the insides are like but it would be nice if it was soft fake fur like the outsides.

The weather continues to be hot and cold but they predict a heatwave soon, I hope they are wrong as usual about that but we shall see, I still have ice poles and the kulfi lollies in stock.

Actually I'm already missing the clotted cream one, I might get that one this weekend.

I want to sweep and mop the floors but I cannot for the life of me locate my pan and brush, I guess if I don't see it soon, after the weekend will just get another set from the market next week.

I try to keep things in the same place but sometimes I have to move them around when there is a lack of space.

Ahh the plans have changed again, looks like it will be next Thursday that me, Mama and her friend go for pedicures, brows maybe and lunch at Nando's.

Hmm not really keen on them but it's been years so maybe they have begun to season their food properly, plus be polite to their customers.

I hate bland and rude service, it's totally off-putting, but they seem keen to go and it will be interesting to have a change of menu.

I hope it's not too spicy

#BlogLife676 - Chatty chicks watching flicks 10 - La Femme Nikita

I've just tried out the Fresh Me face mask. It's a fun blue colour and squeezes out easily enough but it kinda smells like a scented bleach or washing powder.

It's alright but not my preference. I left it on for a bit, oh it's um a scrubby type of mask with lil beads, which I am not keen on but actually these were kinda soft.

It didn't feel like they were that harsh, it's too early to tell if I would recommend it but my skin is soft and fresh, there are some pimples remaining but my face looks radiant and mostly clear.

I've also just opened and tried the Avizor brand of hard contact lens cleaner and it's the same strong mixture unfortunately which burns the eyes if every bit of it isn't rinsed out, it's effective though.

Looks like I'll be going for the pedicure/massage and possibly eyebrow shape on Thursday or possibly Monday, not sure yet.

I don't even know if the beautician is back from her months away.

I've been watching La Femme Nikita, the original one, I never did see it from the beginning but I remember wondering when Michael and Nikita were finally going to get together?

I never knew how she was recruited. It's funny that they killed her off to the world and yet kept her real name lmao.

Plus didn't give her any sort of cover story, just told her to say she's out of work, pfft.

At least work would explain absences, yeesh. The technology all looked so outdated ha.

I guess the other thing that bothered me was the first time Michael took Nikita out to dinner and her being all giddey like it's a damn date.

Umm he's practically a kidnapper, why on earth would you be all excited about gifts and a date from someone training you to be an assassin, who you don't know is even on the right side of the law??

I'd be thinking is the drink or food poisoned? Why are we suddenly out in public? This has to be test related.....

Also as a trained killer, why get involved with someone that has a kid, that could be used as leverage or get murdered?

Plus I wonder if Operations knew all along that was his daughter and yet kept threatening to cancel her aka take her life? Lol.

It makes zero sense! What could her believable cover story be?

Secret Royal with mundane duties to perform? Rejecting Princes ha.

Or secret psychic helping the Police with their investigations or oncall plastic surgeon?

One last one.....Umm...Counsellor could be one, needy patients galore in the world.

See it's easy peasy to create a fictional career.

#BlogLife675 - Recurring daydream

I'm struggling this week, thoughts are coming and going and there is this daydream that keeps evolving in my head that is not story-material just a distraction I guess from everyday stress.

While I am half asleep potential topics float through my mind and then by the time I am fully awake, they seem to vanish.

I just prioritise sleep as I am extra exhausted. I'm looking forward to the new series of DI Ray that I think should be starting this week.

The ending sucked, she excelled in her promoted status, make them all look foolish and found the real criminals and yet she was fired.

Pfft! I wonder how they will bring her back or maybe it will be a whole new cast, I'm avoiding the spoilers so I will be totally surprised.

Even though I did my protein tablets for my lenses yesterday, still my lenses are irritable and uncomfy, I keep applying eye drops but it only helps for a lil while.

I should remove them but I cannot be bothered and to risk losing them, isn't worth it.

I got into yet another cop show Blue Lights which is interesting, except the fun character got killed off in series one, boo :(

I particularly like how one male cop, is always making snacks to woo his female partner, I've just never seen that before lol.

Well I put off having the smart meters for the gas and electricity for as long as possible but I just got a mandatory letter about installing them because of the law.

So I just sent an email to request an appointment. Pfft, for the first time in ages the bills were lowered and now I bet they will skyrocket as that is what everyone says.

Very annoying but it's out of my hands. I just bought and tried out Fibe fruit punch drink at £1.50 for a 250ml can, ouchy.

It's a 30 calorie sparkling drink, at first it tastes a bit tart but then it's quite nice, like berries.

I would recommend it but the price tag is hefty for an itty bitty drink, maybe if it is on sale, it would be better value.

#BlogLife674 - Those closest to me, made me insecure

Late afternoony greetings to all of you. I did not want to get up today but not because I felt downcast any longer, I just didn't feel rested enough.

I let my mind wander and it flickered back to all the unfinished unpublished and published stories on wattpad and here on this blog.

Every day my brain conjures up pieces of fresh material but all of it, can be transferred unto a page.

I'm just waiting to warm up, even though the sun is shining brightly at the moment.

I'm willing the chicken rolls I'm cooking to hurry up for a very late breakfast.

I feel the few people I trusted with the details of my homelife just really didn't give a damn and it's like knowing I had difficulty expressing myself and that I hated confrontation, made them exploit my personality even further.

They realised I wouldn't object when they hogged the whole conversation.

Their voice was the only one that mattered. Mine was squashed, feeding into that feeling that I didn't matter and neither did my opinions.

I would read stories and have dreams that unlocked my potential.

I didn't realise that I couldn't write, the reason that I couldn't tell my stories on paper was because I had no voice.

There was not a single safe place to share it. Family shut me down and took pride in keeping me quiet.

Friends talked over me and made assumptions, without asking me the truth.

Cousins thought I was not worth their time because I wasn't superficial and worldly.

They had the perception I was ignorant because I let them ramble and make jabs and didn't speak up.

There wasn't much that held any importance to me but writing and storytelling I had an inkling that was the link to my freedom.

I just didn't know how to unlock it, not back then. I think I flipped maybe between caring about others views on me and being indifferent.

What I did know is that by the time I was an adult and living on my own and uncaged from the stigma of being thought of as a twit..

It still wasn't any easier to talk. I just assumed the confidence would grow and the filter would drop but in some ways it hasn't.

And I think that's why I struggle to work on and complete the stories in particular, it forces me to open up and give a lil piece of me away or expose me to the world and that's terrifying.

I don't even know why I worry so much, it's not as though they are works of art, just simple tales.

They are still precious though, maybe I am avoiding the conflict I'll have to write or maybe I don't want to create the distance that will have to separate them?

A part of me knows, that I am holding myself back but it still isn't by choice.

Let's end this on a collective positive note, something I rarely am capable of doing.

Repeat after me....

I believe in myself and my abilities.

I can achieve anything I set my mind too.

I won't let fear hold me back.

I am not going to stay pushed down but instead will gather the courage to grow and sparkle and dazzle the world.

Lastly, I, We are pretty great people, don't let people convince you otherwise.

Pep talk done, see you tomorrow...

#BlogLife673 - Stiff androidian body

Afternoony all. It will be a great month if I skip my monthly again but I have pretty bad pmt at the moment.

Nausea, cramps and lots of pains. I'm just waiting for my sushi to arrive, they must be quite busy as it's normally here by now but that's alright I will just sip the Miranda orange instead.

I didn't quite realise it until after I got home, doing my whole stealth moves, ducking behind parked cars and playing my music loudly....

But there is no maniacal barking. I have a feeling the pet owners have been reported for letting the dogs bark all day and all night, or they have bit someone and been removed.

I don't think they walk those creatures at all or treat them fairly. Else why would they be so violent or be so noisy around the clock?

This is the first day since they arrived that it's been peaceful, I for one am relieved. Sorry but I am constantly dreading walking past them and for now at least I can relax.

Ugh spoke to soon around 4pmish, I heard them again. I've now got loud music drowning them out.

I didn't really have time before but as I was messing around with the settings for the new music player, Musicolet...

I discovered they did have a speed changer for all the songs, woop, woop!

I am so pleased, now all the songs sound like party tunes, even the slow ones.

I've just uninstalled Dub player, I used that for years and years.

I just have to get used to the new one now. I just finished watching a quit mini series of Jane Eyre.

I was trying to remember what it reminded me off and I have it. Bluebeard I think it was, where he married this poor girl and said I'll provide for your needs, all I ask is that you never go down the basement and open the door.

Curiosity got the best of her and she did and there was a room full of women, saying Yea, we got caught exploring too, ha.

It was about this mistreated orphan who is educated and goes to live with a man and his daughter and the governess.

Romance ensues but I won't spoil the plot, let's just say she's never been treated affectionately and he's gruff but fair.

I like how he starts off teasing her and then she ends up teasing him.

The only bit I hated was when a former maid, acquaintance or something, came to see her and was happy that she had flourished but she came out with....

Well you are no beauty. It's like, for heaven's sake. The woman doesn't think she is special, she could have done without that line grrr.

I would have posted this earlier but I felt a bit rough. I may have napped, it didn't feel like it but laying down is always beneficial.

Anyway I feel like a robot sometimes, that needs oil for the stiffness in my muscles and bones.

It's hard to manoeuvre around, roll over, to take big steps, to bend.

Even though my hands don't like winter, the rest of me does as I can curl up under the heated blankie.

I was trying to warm up my hands and they had already gotten delicate so I yelped in pain and once again was told I should be under a doctors care but this time I quickly cut her off and said, No.

I know I am getting sicker but I'm not jumping through hoops to explain it to the idiot doctors who choose not to believe me.

I'm not sure I will ever try the veggie sushi. I don't want to waste money.

Don't hate me but I don't dip the rolls in anything, no soy sauce, no horseradish (wasabi).

It's perfect the way it is and I'm avoiding extra salt as much as I can.

The salmon avocado is sublime, it's always soft and fresh. I wouldn't mind trying tuna, but everything else on the menu is spicy and I don't want to burn my mouth.

Oh I tried the karaage chicken, that was nicer than the wings. They are fried chicken balls, served with a spicy mayo that I didn't touch lol.

When they say spicy, they mean it. I have learned my lesson. It's pricey but always discounted.

I was going to get pizza but the poor reviews put me off.

#BlogLife672 - Iceland's new range

I thought I would try out the latest range in Iceland. I saw lemon chicken and vegetable rice. It's quite moreish.

The clotted cream kulfi, which was nice, plain, only had one nut inside but sweet enough. Actually I just realised it reminds me of rasmalai a milky dessert.

The mango version, tasted of mango and I didn't like it, Tesco version didn't taste of it, which is why I prefer it ha.

The pistachio one is still my favourite as it has lots of nut chunks contained and I would not buy the others again.

But I can't recall the make of the Tesco one. They also had tomato gnocchi which looked scrumptious, had to try it, even if pasta is my enemy now.

That is really nice, not too tomatoey or cheesy, just a great meal accompanied by whatever you fancy with it.

Talking of which I tried the alfredo linguine which would have been delicious if not for the disgusting amount of cheese, smothered inside, no cheese would have been better actually.

TGI Fridays french fries are surprisingly better than McCains. They cook really fast, in about 14 minutes and just have more seasoning to them.

I'm taking a break from the randoms and people in general. I do feel more myself, in a healthier mindset but I'm not in the mood for company, right now.

I'm enjoying old re-runs of Whose Line Is It Anyway and it calms my mind.

The peace is slowly creeping back. 

I finally remembered to pluck my brows, they still look untidy but not as bad as before and I will just smother my face in makeup and disguise them further.

I couldn't figure a solution to the Dub music player crashing the app. 

I uninstalled and reinstalled and that didn't help, I was loyal to it because just like Youtube I could increase the speed and every song sounded more perky.

I just need that when I'm outdoors avoiding triggers and the pain so if there is something fun and party-like in my earbuds, it makes the journey smoother.

I ended up installing another music player, with no speed change but also no flipping adverts, woop.

It's called Musicolet so far it seems alright, it hasn't crashed, I tested it last night, it seemed to find my music satisfactorily.

#BlogLife671 - Crazy Self Therapy 9 - Me against the family

Doc, thanks for fitting me in, this is a bit of an emergency although I'm not sure I can put it into words.

Listen SS you don't usually force it, let it come out naturally as per usual, alright?

That is just the problem, I have to get it out, as soon as possible, today in fact, the stress and apprehension is too much to cope with, so many stirred emotions.

What exactly happened to get you into this state?

Truth? An ex part of the family said that he was going to plot so much trouble for us that we would appear as law breakers and be thrown in jail, all of us, unless we paid him money, lots and lots of money.

Wow! Could he do that? Why would he do that?

My fear is that he made it convincing and showed us the report and made us think, we were all going to be harrassed so much so, that we would make ourselves crazy or plead with him to stop and send him the blackmailed money.

This is almost unbelievable but then he has been in jail, has been in trouble with the law and is the criminal, that steals from others and abuses them constantly.

How are you coping, what are you going to do? Knowing that you have always tried your best to be someone who believes in treating others fairly and helping them?

I wanted to hold it together and shrug it off. I know that no-one in the family would comply and send him cash.

But I just felt helpless and weak and lost sleep and my appetite thinking any minute now, Cops will knock on the door and cart me off to jail because of him and his evil words.

Fear took over your rational mind, in other words and this is what he was banking on?

Absolutely. I just felt as trapped as I was, growing up with two devils who tarnished my whole world and made it a scary place.

What happened next?

My Mama said she was going to write him this long farewell forever email and block him, pfft, as if she knows how.

I thought, he is loving the attention and power over us. Just say one word GOODBYE! 

And he would lose his mind. I just thought I'm kinda sick and tired of all of them.

She keeps forgiving him and he keeps hurting us and I want to cut them out permanently for own sanity sake.

She called today and I looked at the phone thinking, ugh, I don't want to talk to you but I was curious about any developments.

In the end, I called her back and she said, Oh turns out, he lied and never filed any documents about us and that he wasn't going to torment us until we were all behind bars after all.....

You see now this is the part where I am supposed to be all relieved but to me, it just shows what he can do.

I bet she is already forgiving him and that's what I can't stand!

I angrily spoke my mind and said, Don't mention their names to me, either of them, they are evil, we are good, we make the world a better place and they have no part in it.

They are dead to me!!

She said alright but I know that she won't respect my wishes.

Which is why I am taking a break from her, or at least stepping back.

That is a lot to process so this is why you have felt so low and depressed?

I felt hunted once again as though he was holding a weapon and saying. I can end you anytime I want and there is not a damn thing you can do about it. Ha Ha Ha.

Listen to me SS. Hear me good. I know that you've always been bullied and tortured mentally.

I know that your family tried to stop you from succeeding and being positive and sharing.

But I also know that each day you managed to gather up courage and spread your gift with the world.

You write and open up to show others, some people have imperfect lives and childhoods and families.

Some people feel no-one can relate to them but you show, that you do.

You encourage them and support them the way your family, held you back and didn't.

Cutting ties as a parent is nearly impossible so perhaps you should cut her some slack, although I do know that you can be a fragile person also.

At least you spoke your mind and told her how you feel.

Thanks Doc but I'm still angry because the next time, this crap happens and it will....

I'm going to feel like saying.... Mama you brought this bs on yourself by keeping him in your life, so don't come crying to me about it.

Except I'm too kind to do that so I will keep it to myself but share it on here before I burst.

A part of me wants to protect her feelings and the other part is on the verge of snapping and telling her, like it really is.

But if I did that, I would be just as cruel and heartless as they are and I nothing like them!

I don't know why she can't accept my truth about how they affected me, my lack of trust, the way I retreated from people.

But everytime I say I want nothing to do with them, she cuts me off and says Yea, Yea, Yea.

I don't think she's brave enough to ask me the question......Why??

As an adult woman of 45 years old I deserve to feel secure and protected from harm.

When am I ever going to be free?

#BlogLife670 - I'm an only child from now on..

They don't exist anymore. I want to start afresh. Let's all pretend I live in fantasy land and growing up was normal and respectful.

My parents accepted me for being a plump, shy, kookie, introverted, insecure and unsociable daughter..

And I revered them for treating me right and not being a colossal disappointment.

They were actually proud of me and didn't expect me to be someone else, plus uttered those kind words frequently.

I was able to form special long lasting friendships and romantic relationships because I was never verbally abused or assaulted and had the ability to communicate effortlessly plus trust people and men.

Even ill or healthy, grouchy or friendly, I would never feel alone or as though there was no room for me, as I somehow warmed people to me.

I was going to call this post Burn in hell where you belong..

But I'm trying really hard to be a lil zen. I'm at the next stage in the depression, watching tearjerker movies.

I'm dehydrated from all the blubbering. I feel like my immune system is weak. I've got the sniffles and a headache.

I was on a Kajol binge, Dilwale, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

All guaranteed to have me weeping and laughing.

Anyway back to fabrication. The pain was somehow bearable and I was able to exercise without any injuries occurring.

Clothing wise, I was an imperfect size 18, not skinny but not really too overweight either.

I had a moderate tum tum which stuck out a bit and made me seem bloated.

Dating was something I got excited about and had no baggage or hangups anymore.

Writing and blogging had evolved into something more professional as I became candid about pretty much everything. My health, my past and what I hoped to achieve in the future.

I self published and made a success from all the fictional stories. I was no longer anonymous. SS had departed and the real me emerged, complete with a photograph.

I was able to open up and connect in a different way than previously because I had never been depressed, just a lil awkward.

Side note, imagine having kids or a significant other and saying You're never going to meet my family because they are hazardous!

Alright back to reality, I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, although the more I write, the better I seem to feel.

Exploring my insides seems to benefit me, even if no-one is reading or understanding quite how bad things really are.

#BlogLife669 - I miss food..

I cooked the rotis, that seem like a wrap/chapati hybrid, but I love the fact that they are wholemeal and cook easily so I'm not standing for too long.

I did try them with the salmon, the taste is the same, the enjoyment is not. 

I don't know if I will attempt the rest or bin it. I want that feeling back, where I loved former dishes but it's just gone.

In the end I just put a lil butter and savoured that, way more than a topping would have.

It's still so weird. I cannot accept that I'm heading towards a simpler appetite.

The more I force myself to eat things I used to like but don't.. There is a danger there that I will lose my appetite again and just push food aside.

Anyway, that probably won't happen. My phone the Nord CE2 Lite, what a long stupid name...

Updated and now it's crashing the bloody music player. It's some security thing that cannot be disabled.

Argh I will have to investigate it because music calms me down and stops the panic attacks.

My brain is a bit scattered which is why I didn't post this on Thursday.

The only thing circling around it is. I'm a bit annoyed, my friend was telling me that, well this is how I interpret it....

She's become an emotional crutch, someone is just dumping and dumping their depressed mood onto her and I feel protective of her.

As though's the other person is taking advantage of her friendly, helpful and sweet side.

She feels guilty for being happy and content in her own life, which she shouldn't and he's indirectly making her feel bad, which angers me a lot, actually.

It's not my business but I wish he would stop whining about whoa is me, I hate everything, I hate myself blah blah blah and seek some bloody therapy, instead of dumping his foul mood on her.

Either confide in friends and family and/or get some much needed therapy and turn your life around because whatever you're doing, isn't working.

Alright to turn it back on me, someone suggested I do the same and get therapy and move past my dating history, once and for all..

And I said No because I feel too emotionally fragile, for someone to mess with my head and leave me raw and open.

I try to tackle one thing at a time, especially in the self therapy posts. (Crazy Self Therapy).

Besides, I don't feel like it is something that is ever going to disappear completely.

I was habitually hurt. I had/have no-one to lean on. I trust no-one and if someone tries to cosy up to me..

Well the thought of it, being able to relax and confide, is really comforting but the reality, is never what I think it will be.

Either they leave, or I do. Then add in the mix, deep rooted insecurities and it makes everything worse.

I can't say I like you, or I care about you and want to.. Spoil you with affection because then it's always...

Yes yes yes SS, focus on me, and I'll focus on me also and neglect you completely....

What I'm saying is, it's just easier and practical to keep my guard up, all the way up.