I hate the word diet

I think about food constantly, hence why I've written about this topic in several posts. Unfortunately diets will always be judged by people around you. 

 

Sad but true. Unless you are overweight you have no idea what goes on in a dieters mind. 

 

I ended up being so self conscious about eating even regular portion sizes that I stopped eating in front of people. I literally trained myself not to feel hunger when I wasn't alone.

All eyes were always on me anyway, watching what I selected, making snide little comments that were apparently said in jest..

 

Yea right, but the funny thing was those same people making cruel comments were the same ones annoyed that I wasn't munching with them.

It got critical. I started calorie counting and wouldn't eat anything over a hundred calories and from then started skipping meals and even days. 

 

There was another diet which talked about balance. If you overindulged on a Wednesday afternoon, then later on at dinner, you just ate a minimal meal.

I cut out all snacking and just had one or two meals a day but then found myself unable to maintain it so ended up gorging on a multipack. Just between you and me, I only ever stuck my fingers down my throat once.

 

I knew that I loved food to much to completely give it up and being a shortie, the weight just piles on everywhere more noticeably.

I hated purging and thankfully wised up and never did it again. I finally just realised that I needed a lifestyle overhaul not a pointless diet that I couldn't keep, filling me with guilt. 

 

I started making changes right there and then. Switched from white bread to wholemeal. From fizzy drinks to flavoured water. 

 

From hot sugary, biscuit dunking, delicious smelling coffee to water. I still miss coffee but I found myself just making it at times purely to dunk digestives or hobnobs into it.

I'm laughing as I remember the transition to plain ice water. I couldn't stand lukewarm but ice water went down smoothly. 

 

Whenever I visited my aunt, her face was so horrified in the morning. She got so mad at me for drinking water instead of coffee :D

I did briefly experiment with black coffee but I found that disgusting. Plain water was too bland for me but sugar free flavoured water is actually so refreshing. Huge fan of the Volvic selection.

The biggest thing for me was sugar. I have a huge sweet tooth and figured I couldn't indulge anymore but so that I don't ever binge anymore, I buy a single pack and just absolutely savour and enjoy it with minimal guilt.

Now I look at a lot of vegetarian, vegan and fish options to fill my meals. I also look at the healthier options of foods and find most of them if you shop around and try different brands aren't compromising on taste.

I'm never giving up chicken, it's too damn tasty but eating less meat was easy. I try to listen to my body now and for the most part just eat when I am really hungry. 

The other thing that was critical was how I saw myself in the mirror. Curvy or slender I started to find areas I liked so no matter how my weight fluctuated I could always focus on those areas.

Find a way to treat yourself that doesn't involve food. For me it was beauty treatments. Pedicures/manicures/facials/scalp massages. Makeup and clothes. 

 

It really boosted my confidence and made me feel better about myself which was key because when I was younger and slimmer, I still had zero confidence. Now that I'm bigger I have more self worth because I worked on my body and mind.

Don't get me wrong, there are still days when I feel self conscious but the kinder I am to myself and the more effort I make to choose smart healthy choices is the better I cope.