Cheer up

How I hated hearing that growing up. I'm not like you. I never plastered on a fake smile when I was feeling like hell or even if I wasn't. 

I'm not a smiley person, sure I can joke around but I don't walk around always grinning like an idiot and for that reason people always took it upon themselves to try and cheer me up.

Alright sometimes I was down but other times I just felt like a regular person but without the need to make you feel better because you were "happy." 

Consider for a moment that we are all not the same, we deal with things differently. How do you know I'm not dealing with something serious? You don't so knock it off.

Like I am really going to snap out of it because you said cheer up. Oh yea that did it, now I'm all tingly with joy. 

No it doesn't work like that. Just because you go around smiling and appearing as though you're in a good mood 24-7 that doesn't mean that I should.

I stopped concealing my feelings. I stopped feeling the need to please you and be like you. 

I would rather be real. To feel all this hurt and rage and despair and know that there is very little I can do about it. 

What is wrong in being in touch with your feelings?

It is perfectly acceptable when someone asks you if you are ok, to say...No I'm not but I'll get there. 

I think the reason people had such a high opinion of you and wanted to emulate you was because you exuded confidence and acted as though nothing fazed you. 

Hell even I thought that was true until the cracks started appearing.

You reeked of insecurity, just like I did but you hid it so well. You didn't like your face or your weight and assumed all compliments were insults in disguise. 

I started to really see you. The way you mocked me and pointed out my flaws was a deflection from your own crisis.

I know it's bad to admit it but I took pleasure in it. That you weren't perfect after all, that you were actually unsure of yourself. 

I just couldn't be the only one feeling self conscious. You never actually came out and admitted it but someone outed you, although I had already started to notice myself.

Maybe just maybe instead of making me feel worse that I wasn't a perfect doll, you should have confided in me that you were sensitive too.

Do family ever learn? 

Before you try to improve someones mood, ask yourself, who are you doing it for? Them or you? 

Let them feel it. Allow them to be moody. When I was left to get in touch with my emotions I felt so much better than being pressured to be happy.

I understand that you want to check up on a person but don't influence their mood. 

It's a process that I have to go through, sometimes I don't even know why I feel sad but as time goes on I can pinpoint it to hormones or something else but I need the time to work it out. 

Have a little patience and trust that I can figure it out. Don't enforce a time limit. It isn't helpful. I will get through it when I am supposed too!