#BlogLife4 - Am I a bad writer/blogger?

Great morning to my lovely regulars and to the newbies sneaking in.

This series has endless possibilities. I thought of half a dozen things to talk about but today I'm going introspective. 

I am not speaking for all bloggers and whatever I say may not be how you feel or act but this fits me.

Q1) Am I a bad writer/blogger?

A) Purleaseeee. Have you even checked me out?? I'm all over social media. I have a regular upload schedule, a healthy subscriber base and trillions of regular comments. Frankly I'm insulted at the question.

B) Honestly? I don't know. I use Twitter mainly and Facebook as an afterthought. I don't upload continuously. My followers are small but steady and I have zero interactions with them. Does that make me bad? 

Probably in the eyes of most but to me I'm climbing up there. My voice has grown. My writing has improved. I've opened up more and I feel more content and confident.  

I'm not here to criticise you or tell you that you don't measure up. I'm here to say I think you're wonderfully courageous. 

It takes guts to put yourself out there. So what if people haven't noticed yet. It will take time and effort but whether you are a small blog like mine or a huge one..

I think you are doing an amazing job. Some people are naturally open so it is easier for them to share but for me I am a closed book with brief aspects of my life out there for the world to read about.

I feel elated and maybe don't have the right to be. If I stopped and compared myself to successful bloggers I would be a mess.

I'm not about to do that and you shouldn't either. Celebrate your milestones. Think about what your contributions bring to the world.

How your tiny voice survives in a sea of louder speeches and still somehow reaches people. I'm not going to say I don't care about how many reads each post accumulates or the lack of comments I get because I do but at the same time..

I would rather have zero comments than a bunch of obligatory types that to me signify pity or boredom. I deserve better and you do too.

I don't want to go on about this but I just want to wrap it up in this way. What helped my confidence was rereading my words.

I'm just me. This is my interpretation. I don't do things the same as other polished bloggers do but I accept that I'll never be the best and frankly I'm relieved.

I have no desire to be. I just want to have a close, cosy bond with my readers. That's it. It's not easy to build trust when your anonymous but I'm persevering.

Take care lovelies and one last thing I want to clarify just in case I come off as unapproachable or egotistical. 

In a lot of my posts I'm giving myself a pat on the back and praise. There is a very important reason for this.

I had absolutely no self worth at all it was taken away from an early age and didn't return until.. I feel like saying recently but it's been a while.

Having said that though, the harshness that sowed seeds in my psyche remained and it still tries to destroy my confidence regularly.

But by being vigilant and aware, I just turn those unhealthy thoughts into validation. It works for me and it might seem strange but it's what I need to do to keep my head up :)