#BlogLife1094 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 28 - Soul Food/ Hudson & Rex

I thought I'd do a dual review as I'm not sure if I will need to pad this out.

Soul Food is an old show about 3x sisters. The oldest, a control freak, workaholic, unlucky in love lawyer, who takes charge, but will let you know it.

Aww it's sweet her love interest is her real life beau, hubby now. I think she wants him to be more ambitious but it's a touchy subject..

The middle sister I think is a full time housewife. I don't know if she has more than one kid, but he is narrating it, just like umm..

So many others, Dougie Howser or Everyone Hates Chris.. Anyway her marriage seems solid, it's just seems unfulfilled and unappreciated..

The youngest just had a baby and is working part time, her hubby, the guy from Family Business, constantly lies about illegal work.

There marriage is bumpy but committed, the cheating seems to have gone on before the show, the eldest got cheated on..

For some reason I thought it would take place in a restaurant, bit gutted.

Hudson and Rex I just started and silly me, thought they would begin at the start, where the human met the dog, sorry can't remember who is who lol.

It's a highly trained Police dog/partner situation, reasonably well behaved and loyal.

I've just started but there's not that smug level of arrogance that you usually find.

No love interest yet, bit unusual but I don't mind it for now.

The lead seems familiar but not sure where I know him. I can watch dogs on tv but in person, I have a whole body freakout.

Anyway, good hook, straight away a kidnapping and the poochy races to follow.

It was so interesting how the dog, didn't bark, it just observed like a human would do.

Then casually jumped in the second getaway car. If it doesn't have a tracker on it's collar, it should do!

Ahh no tracker then, silly and I'm not even sure there is a collar, so what will poochy do now?

As soon as he carelessly left the gun on the table top, I thought so foolish, someone's going to sneak behind you..

So far I am enjoying both of them, not too dark, some humour and playfulness, and interesting storylines :)

I like the acting and characters, which make a show worth watching.

I'm not sure what is causing these succession of intense migraines.

My head is thumping. I've just come on and I think I'll skip dinner again.

All I want to do is sleep or switch off but my brain says, No let's work on the blog, no peace for you!

Ugh the old fan doesn't want to charge, I switched ports but no red light boo :(

At the moment it's mild and the new fan is charging, I didn't do it all night as usual, I wanted to give the charger a rest..

I don't know why it's so temperamental..

Anyway mini update on the Garnier face wash. I am loving it, minus having a nice scent, they missed a trick not adding that..

But my skin feels like butter, it's smooth, clear, soft and I feel like I just had a facial so I do recommend it.

#BlogLife1093 - Late night confessions - LetterLife6

I was getting ready for bed, feeling empty as usual and willing myself to get up and pack everything away..

When this post tumbled out of me, It seemed to expand and after I finished this long thought..

I didn't really want to write it. I didn't race to open the blog while it was still fresh, it just kinda sat with me and then I fell asleep.

When you don't think about it or forget or hope you've dealt with it, it just seems closed....

But then you relax and let your guard down and there it is, taunting you.

I don't really remember it, it was just huh, yea that happened and that and this....... bitterness or an anger twinge remained.

The title flashes in my head....

Dear Guilty,

What if I turned the tables on you? What if I hunted you? Preyed upon you?

Made you lose your voice, your confidence, your feeling of safety or of peace?

What if I took away your hope of happiness and trust and the fairytale of happily ever after?

No matter how many times I talk about this, it doesn't go away, it doesn't help.

What is the point? It should just stay in my head where it belongs....

But No, it's loudly insisting it be let out and acknowledged, once again.

Maybe there is no such thing as closure? 

I just thought I would snap out of it, one day.. But the more I share or unearth it, the more I want to retreat further away from the world.

I am either perpetually ignored, silenced or talked over. Yes I am used to the fact, it will always be like this.

People come and go, randoms, acquaintances, all of them. I don't need them but it also can't be healthy either, to be this alone?

As a side note, I made a cheese and a salmon sandwich that was heavenly, well toastie really.

It just needed cucumbers and probably olives, but those are too premium for me to get..

Mama and me are probably doing pedicures next week, I told her I'm not sure if I can visit her, the UC appointments are haywire, which is the truth...

The other reason I'm pausing is that, she makes me feel invisible, like no matter what I say or do, it's just not interesting or important enough..

And I'm over that feeling now, it's been a lifelong thing and it's tiresome.

I guess my overall point is....  I am sick to death of feeling I have to prove myself to others, men, female acquaintances, family...

That what I feel is real, that I am happy alone because there are too many self absorbed people to be there for other human beings..

And I don't want to beg for attention. I serve my own needs. I will continue volunteering and standing up for the vulnerable.

Stepping back to take care of myself, when I need too and pushing myself to be more chatty, when I'm too much in my head.

But as for sacrificing my personality and values, to please others?

Hell no!

Honestly, how do people get over being assaulted and not being able to function in relationships and being bullied to the point where.....

Nothing and nobody is worth it?

*Shrugs*

-SS-

#BlogLife1092 - No rest, nitwit/My newest version of a fillet o fish

Good grief, I just checked the next appointment for UC to mark it in the calendar..

Every fortnight it's supposed to be, yeesh, some people only have it every few months, via call lucky so and so's.

It's supposed to be in 2 weeks, this cretin instead of making it the week of the 13th July...

It's next Friday, bozo, that's completely messed up the plans to be away...

Unless it's weekly now, ffs. I would understand if my journal was empty, I was skipping appointments or being uncooperative but I'm not.

My body could have really done with the time off. I don't know if it's a blessing in disguise or not..

I guess I'll see when the next appointment after that is, cripes.

Anyway this was a childhood favourite, when McDonald's stopped using cod in the fillet o fish..

I think out of the Big Mac and the McChicken sandwich, the fillet o fish, beat them hands down..

The tartar sauce complimented it so well and the cheese.. The generic cheaper fish, is rubbish to me.

So when needs must, you adapt. I toasted bagels, probably buttered them..

Cooked 2x cod fish fingers, placed those and some cheese in the finished bagel..

The for a couple seconds, whizzed it in the microwave until the cheese was oozing out the top and it was done.

I honestly can't remember using condiments. I might have added a thin layer of marmite but that's all I recall.

If the egg mayo is in stock, I'll add it to my sandwich, lush and maybe a hint of the burger sauce...

I used to love, umm not sure if it was onion and chive bagels... It was onion and something..

I don't see that now, I switched to the tasteless wholemeal version to be healthier..

But seeing as Iceland keeps being sold out, I opted for alternatives, bagels, crumpets and croissants..

Also instead of white crackers, I decided to get Ryvita. A good source of rye and magnesium, according to Googly..

I did like the taste of that with butter or cheese or maybe I'll try salmon paste..

Or the egg or the turkey rashers.. Food has just lost it's appeal but I'm trying to mix it up..

I just unpacked the groceries, yay G delivered and everything was there, except the waffle fries, yeesh you couldn't substitute any other fries? Ugh..

It might take a day but I'm curious to try the Robinson's ice pole version.

Usually I buy Mr freeze 20x £1.75 but it was sold out, Robinson's is 12x £1.75.

If it tastes fruity natural, it's fine but if it's artificially sweet, it will be a waste of money.

Apple, orange, blackcurrant I think are the main flavours. It's too early to eat.

I think I'm just bloated and sleepy. It's still humid but at least I can use the covers and sleep properly ish..

So I just threw whatever felt right in the bagel, smeared with garlic and herb Philadelphia cheese, added a turkey rasher..

Put some egg mayonnaise and lastly fish fingers and then done.

I think the updated version will be better. I just did one to avoid nausea and not being that hungry.

Got to say, it was fabulous and then for dessert, those Belvita honey, nut, chocolate chip biscuits, perfect, the rest is for later.

Why put 4x in a packet? Just put 2! It's been years and years since I had a bagel, so soft...

I still don't see why their can't be wholemeal versions of these things?

Why no brown crumpets? Or brown muffins? Or brown paninis? Or wholemeal bagels anymore?

If you want the country to be healthier, sell more nutritious items.

My back is still a bit sore, but the binaurals, helped with a sore throat I had and something else, Oh yea, healing the scratches.

The binaural beats playlist is getting longer and longer.

#BlogLife1091 - Record breaking UK heatwave ending soon?

Hmm every day I've been searching for the demise of this damn extreme weather.

3/4 hours of sleep per night is wrecking me. I know up til at least 6/7am I was awake..

Shattered and drained. I kept grabbing my phone to do something but I had zero attention.

I watched the sky go from dark to light at maybe 4amish? I am sick of my clothes sticking to me.

I wanted to charge the fan all night, but I got scared because it keeps overheating and I don't want it to cause a fire..

I took it off at 4am, that's how I know the time. I forgot and remembered about the essential oils but I couldn't locate them.

I don't think I have lemon, maybe just peppermint and maybe another one?

The citrus ones are invigorating but calming for some reason. Hmm well as the heatwave is due to end today (Friday) I guess they won't cancel the UC appointment on Monday.

I would have loved a phone one. It's still baking, I'm sceptical about the weekend being milder..

The UK has had heatwaves before but never like this. I think the advisory was to stay home, unless you need to be out..

I only recall my skin burning once and it was so strange. I never use sunscreen, if it happens to be included in the product, so be it..

It's lunchtime, I should eat because my insides are empty. I'm probably dehydrated from perspiring all night.

I did want to do a bit of writing and volunteering first though. I miss my rolls, it's not the same with toast.

The thing I hate about these mini fans, is that the base is too light and keeps toppling over.

Oh and I finally did most of the washing. The sun should dry them quickly enough.

Pity no notification, the Monday appointment is still on, how will I have the energy for it?

Oof today was rough, the dizziness, no enthusiasm for anything.

I have to look for the aloe vera, I have this scratching compulsion and my skin is all bruised and tender.

I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but as you know, instead of painkillers, I use binaural beats videos.

Healing soundwaves, no ingesting nasty chemicals. Sadly the ones I prefer that are crazily effective..

All seems to have this devil music, the kind they play in horror films, creepy piano...

Ugh I hate it so much. It bothers me on a deeper level I think. I didn't put it together before..

But I bolt awake panicked, like I did this morning 8am and I didn't remember the dream but I just have an inkling..

I'm reverting back to panic attack induced nightmares. When I was in hospital and just out, I got them every night..

I feel like the music is a lil too haunting and it's upsetting my mind.

I've searched for alternatives but they aren't as good, so I have to put up with it.

Ugh my back keeps painfully twinging, I feel like it's going to snap off soon, it really hates bending.

Getting the charger, opening the freezer, picking up fallen bits.

I need blankie's heat but if I put that on I'll collapse. I have a feeling I did have a bit of heat exhaustion..

My appetite is gone, 1x meal per day but I know I need fuel so gonna heat up the beef tagliatelle pasta.

I so want takeout but can't afford it really. It's been a horrid morning with sickiness, cramps, dizziness..

But I think the last 2x nights, I've sprinkled peppermint essential oil on my pillow and truly that has knocked me out for hours.

So happy to get some proper rest. There was no seat on the bus going, I felt so rough.

And then I had a mini panic attack as someone bought a bloody dog and it was right next to me, so a mini freakout.

That should not be allowed unless it's a seeing eye dog. Ugh!!

It still feels heatwavey...  But an alternative UC advisor was there and he seemed human, so I was having an enjoyable chat with him actually..

I've realised what the source of my stress is, it's visiting Mama and not knowing if she'll take a toll on my emotional health..

Ugh I don't want to get up for food but I have too, my poor back.

I know I'll play muscle binaural beats videos.. Let me dream I can afford takeout.....

Here's what I would order salmon avocado or chicken sushi and sod it, probably lemonade, ha

#BlogLife1090 - Go go go, No no no..

Hmm well the Greek yoghurt wasn't sweet and neither are the berries but it's not sour either.

I just thought what could I add to make it a lil sweeter? I don't have honey or sugar, never buy it to be honest..

But I do have a smidgen of nutella left over, I could add a dollop maybe, I'll see how I feel.

Getting cool, works for a second and then the sauna atmosphere returns, I wet the ends and my face with cold water and it's refreshing for a whole second then it's evaporated, my hair is dry.

Thank goodness for bottles of ice water from the freezer and my cooling mist which is kept in the fridge.

What another horrid night, the heatwave doesn't seem to end. I thought yes let's be clever, sleep on top of the duvet...

It never works, I can't get comfy, it doesn't feel cosy, even though the duvet is suffocating..

The fan does nothing, the humidity sweeps over the room. I think eventually maybe after 5am, I got an hour or so, maybe more.

I was drained, my head sweating all night. That was a long hour to have the heating on, apparently it's another bad day so I wanted to get up early and put it on.

I still can't tell if it's the weather making me sick or pmt. My stomach just feels empty.

The weird thing is, I have no thirst whatsoever. I'm sipping water to keep hydrated and so that food goes down but it's a struggle.

I'm not bored of the taste, if that happens I stick an icepole in the bottle..

Oh the one thing I do have is hunger, that is normalish, there's loads to choose from, I might do the roast potatoes later..

I've no idea what to pair it with or I could cook the cheese ravioli..

Right now I want sleep but there is too much to do. I should do housework but I'm not sure my legs are up to standing for that long.

As I got the water, I grabbed some ready salted crisps to settle my tum but I don't have an appetite yet so I'll just leave it.

I wondered yesterday, what was the point of going to bed? Laying there, tossing and turning, begging for drowsiness to take over?

Maybe I won't go to bed early but after midnight? The backache seems to increase every time I'm standing up and I can't apply heat to it.

I'll have to play binaurals later. 

I had my first ice bath, not real ice, I remember having icy cold showers on holiday..

Oof once you get used to it, it's refreshing, I washed my hair and did not scream or squeal..

I was brave and now unfortunately it's getting warm again, boo.

Mama's back and she called me, she sounds happy and glad to be back, wow, to a heatwave of all things.

So I guess it will depend on her behaviour, whether or not I spend some time next month with her..

I updated her about the competition win and the debt, maybe we'll do some pampering soon?

#BlogLife1089 - Uncover me

I am struggling to stay awake, it's just before 1pm and my eyes are closing, a perfect time to write and hope it makes sense..

I tried the rice salad. I don't know why I thought it was rice pasta salad but still with the veggies included, it was tasty.

Probably needed chicken but I guess for a snack, it was fine. I wasn't that hungry, just wanted to line my tum with a bit of food and this did it because I'm kinda fake full.

Hormonally bloated so seems like I'm stuffed but could be in an hour or so I will munch again, instead of in a few hours, that's more typical of my hunger.

I hate how my hands randomly shake, I wasn't paying attention and the food just shook everywhere, grr, it was only a tiny bit though.

I'm looking up random dessert recipes on youtube, no chance I will cook, but some are way easier than I thought they would be.

I don't know why I'm fighting a nap, this is the perfect time for one..

I did have a nap and felt better for it and still slept kinda ok, last night.

Oof what a morning, the face wash stung my eyes. I don't know how to stop it going into my eyes but I repeatedly flushed them so it wasn't too bad.

Then my contacts lens, went in and then popped out, I couldn't find it, maybe took 30 minutes looking and what made it worse, was no natural light, it was so dark.

I gave up and then shook a towel and there it was, I was so happy and relieved, although I do have one spare.

I put it in and out it popped again, ugh, re-found it though and now I can see properly.

Goodness. Oh we are having extreme heat warnings at the moment, I don't listen to the news but yea extra hot...

I wonder how the Market is? Even the horrid noisy neighbours are quiet, good, peace!!

I wonder if Monday's UC appointment, will be cancelled? Be nice to have a phone one, but like I said, they are too self absorbed to do that.

Hmm I have to adapt as I don't have burger buns. I'll just use toast and make a sandwich that way.

Oh the fruit should have defrosted, I can pop some in the yoghurt, yum.

I wonder if it has a natural sweetness, ugh, I hope so, that's what I interpret from Greek style but who knows?

One of them was honey infused but it was too sweet, that was years ago.

That will be a refreshing cold dessert when the heat gets really bad this afternoon.

Although I miss cornettos and the milk lollies, so fun too eat. I'll see how the budget goes next week.

I do like yoghurt though, I was going to get almond granola, they stopped the other nutty one and I crave nuts, but it's a luxury that doesn't last long.

Excuse the delay, the laptop keeps freezing when it overheats, the laptop tray doesn't keep it cool.

I could replace it but with what money?

#BlogLife1088 - A fright and a win...

Get comfy and brace yourself.. It all began last night. There was 4x obnoxious door buzzing, followed by a light brief door tap..

I figured it was the horrid neighbours, up to something so I ignored it, after all, it was 7pm..

Or maybe it was those canvassing politicians? That do the country no good and seem to be constantly corrupt..

Or maybe it was the landlord? There was no text, no appointments due....

I didn't think anything of it until G brought in the groceries and the parcel that was waiting there...

Wow it didn't get stolen, what a miracle.. Who would send me a gift? Surely not Mama, she is due back soonish, I think..

Next month is our collective birthdays but she normally hands stuff to me, only I send her stuff.

Anyway I looked at the address, twice, to make sure it was really for me, it can't be.

It has to be for the neighbours...... But nope it was mine, there was my details, my name, my address..

I used the scissors got it open and thought...... Hmmm.. Why does this brand seem familiar?

Then I read the cute lil handwritten note, Congratulating me..

After years of not winning anything. What was the last thing? The phone?

I don't recall honestly. It was a stationery bundle, how I adore stationery..

It was 30x Prism gel pens. Who doesn't love colourful gel pens???

And postcards that you colour in, which I will give to Mama, she probably knows parents from church, that would adore colouring in.

I just wanted the pens really, they bring colour to my dull, stressy world.

Nice surprises can happen. It's not all doom and gloom :) I put the picture on twitter.

The fright was that the boiler wasn't turning on, no flame, but I turned it insanely high and it did.

Horrible to do so in a heatwave but it's so temperamental..

I just love that the pens are encased is this clickable lock, suitcase plastic pack thingy. 

How secure and cute to keep them safe and tidy. I am so glad they are not thick nibs for proper colouring.

I wanted real pens to write with, not that I do much writing nowadays..

But now I have a choice of shades. It's not glitter I don't think and it's not rollerball ink, which to me glides smoother over paper...

It just seems a ballpoint pen but actually no, that's wrong. It's not ballpoint, it's a regular long nib, seems to flow easily enough.

Most of my groceries were there, but not the large loaf of bread and no wholemeal rolls at all? Ugh.

Hm, the email I used to thank them with bounced back. I'll go on the website and resend it.

Oh ok, I get it, I added an extra full stop, where there wasn't any. I will just amend and resend.

That worked because I got an obligatory, we hear you, we'll get back ha.

Aww also the egg mayonnaise was also out of stock. I could have got the turkey rasher instead.

But I did get a perk, funny, there was a 7x pack of Penguin chocolate bars for a £1 and they were probably sold out.

I think it was on sale. I think that was the highest pack I saw, I wanted the snacks to last.

So instead they gave me 2x 5 packs. I got 3 bars free, woop :) 

On Monday, I'm not sure if anywhere sells bread/rolls locally, while I am in the Market, I'll try to get some and maybe cheese too..

The only new things that I'm trying are Greek style natural yoghurt because it was a £1 and I forgot to take the frozen fruit out of the freezer ugh.....

To accompany it and then there was a 24x pack of snacks for £2.50 that looked fun.

8x onion bhajis, 8x veggie pakoras, 8x veggy samosas so I can nibble those plainly or stuff it into a sandwich ha.

Ugh my tum won't stop cramping. I wonder if anyone else gets pmt without a period after??

I still don't feel hungry but maybe it's hunger pangs? Being as I've been up for 3x hours..

Time flies when you're gushing about wins, time to take the heating off, it's been an hour.

Wait, did I get all my shopping? I gotta double check.. I think so.

Oh and the golden rice salad thingy.. I haven't had that before. I'll let you know what I like and dislike later in the week..

Hmm so the bank has reverted back to how things used to be..

Didn't we swipe or tap the card, without having to sign or use a pin number?

I don't know how it is abroad, they seem to do the tap thingy.. And now apparently so are we.

I hated remembered the pin number, holding up the queue and then cancelling it because it didn't type properly..

I guess when I get my new card at the end/beginning of the year, it will be ready, perhaps?

#BlogLife1087 - Heatwave or pmt making me nauseated

I've just finished the Simple face wash that dried out my skin and now I am onto the Garnier Vitamin C cleanser.

That lasted me just over a month.

Umm, it's not what I thought it would be. There is no scent sadly, I expected a lovely citrus, but nothing.

I also assumed it would be a gel but no, it's a yellow thickish cream, ok, let's go with it..

I put it on the face brush and spun it, it didn't lather and sat heavy on my skin, maybe my face or the brush wasn't wet enough?

But when I rinsed it off, easilyish enough, my face felt deeply cleaned and really soft.

It's only the first use and I don't need a moisturiser but I applied it anyway and that felt extra refreshing.

Hmm it does not play nicely with the face brush, I have to stop using it with it.

It keeps going into my eyes, and they are already sensitive so I am better off mixing it with water, softening it and then scrubbing my face with it by hand.

I cannot afford to damage my eyes before I put my contact lenses on or even while they are in.

What do I now, which isn't ideal, is to apply directly on my face and then use the face brush afterwards.

It's not really satisfying that way but sometimes it does lather up, the end result is the same, soft smooth skin.

A few faint pimples but I think the dryness has gone, although the cause, might be from something else I was using.....

We shall see how long it lasts and if I still like it, later on.. Now what to have for brekkie/lunchy?

That triangle baklava/baklawa might be my favourite, lil syrupy, very nutty mush flavour.

Ahh the plain one, the second one I tried was a lil dry, so finally a flaw, but it's a nice selection for the price.

I'm starting to think it's worth the £2.50. I'm sure when it was introduced it was double that price, maybe no-one bought, so they lowered it and it's going down like hotcakes now..

I feel like I'm getting more messages on 7 Cups, now that I've written I'm not taking on chats.... What??

I even had one today, that I already politely responded to with, sorry I'm not available and they ignored me and said Hi, again...

WTF!! I hate rude people! How do you not respect someone being nice and well mannered to you?

I didn't respond. If you want to be a fool to me, I'll treat you the same way!

Talking of fools, I blocked P, 3ish days of being ghosted, I think that was generous, for me to wait this long.

It might not seem long but feels like an eternity waiting. Meh..

I gave chances but for whatever reasons he continued to ignore me, so be it.

#BlogLife1086 - Ever tried Baklava? (baklawa)

Pity, Iceland has sold out of the blue skies comfort, my favourite and have substituted it with the white one..

Hmm, I wonder if I will like it? Very confusing to have the cheaper bigger ml bottle, say it contains less washes than the more expensive but less ml bottle..

It does smell nice actually, thank heavens.

Cheaper one wins! I'm finally going to try the Baklava (baklawa) by Dina, £2.50 for a big box.. That's actually a small one

Hopefully will have the energy for a picture, I should take out the bins but I don't want too..

Ah the other things that are new are, Punjabi veggy samosas, £2.50 for 4 maybe? Hmm..

Ok, I love the pastry, it's seasoned with a hint of spice, the filling is ok.

Would I buy it again? I'm not sure. I think I like this pastry but with Iceland basic filling, those potato and veggies better..

So I have no idea, if I'll get it again, probably :)

And Southern fried chicken chunks £4 bag. I thought outside would be noisy but maybe they cancelled the community, get together, planning for an excursion thing?

I hear no noise but cars in and out.. That's good, probably isn't blocking access then.

I'm not sure why I don't have an appetite. I made myself finish the pasta, I enjoyed it but I wasn't really in the eating mood.

But it's late so I had too. I tried one baklawa piece, primarily because it's tiny.

And for once that's a good thing. It's so delicate, the pastry but infused with flavour.

Sweet, nutty, not messy, I was expecting syrup but it's definitely not dry.

I ended trying a filled one, seemed like jam, tasted a bit like that too, very nice.

I'm so glad it's not sickly, that was another concern but so far, I've loved everything I've tried.

Supposedly handmade, I have nothing to compare it too. I'm glad it's not filled with raisins or currants, well that piece wasn't.

Just plain but far from boring. I wonder how the other ones are?

It's a mini dessert really, it will definitely last a while. I can't face anymore food.

I'll just sip ice water. I put the pictures on twitter and took out the bins, I am sleepy.

It wasn't the regular Iceland guy but I just held the bags to be packed because I was just empty and sore and he didn't complain.

I wonder how you are supposed to store it.. Oh I have to wash off my makeup.

Just the usual foundation and pinky/purply hybrid eyeshadow.

Oh yea and finally spent that £10 I had in my purse for months..

My Oyster was near empty so I need it for travel, might as well use it up. That is an essential.

Ok phew, twitter is working again, it had just emptied my timeline and I wasn't sure if I was banned or the server was down or what...

I keep getting these pathetic warnings from them, that I'm supposedly spamming or my account isn't legitimate...

I will not be surprised if one day I log on and my account has been deleted permanently and because they are pushing to sign up for paid accounts....

I just feel this is the reason, to get rid of the free users, which is a shame.

I advertise the blog, the stories. I have a lil rant, here and there. I gossip about the shows..

I enter competitions but like I said, there will still be ways to follow this blog.

Via FollowIt, the email subscription, or bookmarking the page..

Or eventually maybe I will have had enough of twitter and switch to an alternative..

But I'll let you know :)

Oh and nothing from P, who is but a distant timewasting memory.

#BlogLife1085 - Call to zero....

What is the big deal about calls? The new random seems freaked out about them too.....

Yeesh does noone have balls anymore? I know it's a dealbreaker. 

Sorry effeminate voices do nothing for me but why agree and then back out..?

Why not just say, Could you give more time or I'm not ready, I'm worried how I'll be perceived....

But nothing. Yesterday P (good grief not a J, at long last, yay), said Oh I simply forgot, but proceeded to have a lengthy text session...

Hmm all that could have been done on a call, in which you could have said, You know what, it's a weekday, can it be brief..?

And I would have said, it's disappointing but I understand, rest is important..

Then he said, Tomorrow midday, I'll call or you can text/call to remind me....

Guess what, it's 1.30pm...... He abruptly left the text session last night, did he fall asleep.....?

Or was it because I said, I really don't have much of a heart to give really...

I didn't explain further and he didn't ask. I texted about 1pm and what makes it worse....

He said, contact me anytime because I'll be available and now it feels like a ghost....

And I trust my instincts and knew something was off, men aren't clever...

So as of today Wednesday 12.45pm, still haven't heard a thing and the text was read and delivered.

The funny thing also and as soon as I heard it thought, that's just weird...

Was him saying, the first call will be Midday (yesterday) and the next will be Wednesday at 7am!!!

Who on earth calls someone at 7am? That they barely know??? I said There's no chance of that, I'll be busy.

But was this whole thing, a planned waste of time? Did he set out to bs me?

I don't get it, and I don't respect him for it. Yes I did like him, we talked about alsorts, not just light and fluffy.

I never pressured him for a call, just asked what he thought, I never forced him to accept.

I'm not going to chase, I made the effort and maybe later he'll have the guts to explain himself, but for right now I'm busy..

I wonder if it's bs syndrome.... Where they assume by saying the things women want to hear....

That they can snowball her, get her to believe it and when she/I don't....

When I'm still reserved and sceptical and holding back, like any sensible woman would take it slow...

They up and disappear? Because he said, He doesn't want or need anyone....

That he wishes I could believe that. But men do eventually need women.

I've never heard a man say, Yep, swearing off women, gonna be alone forever...

The way I proclaim it... He was saying, I haven't met the right guy... Pfft...

And that he's gonna take care of me, spoil me, blah blah..

At least I can say, I'm always upfront. I tell them, I'm not looking for anything..

I won't do meets or picswaps. I'm not gonna fall for them or unlikely to get attached....

And they are all accepting of these facts..... Until time passes and they assume.... What???

They can swoop in and save me from myself? Oh purleaseee.

Not one of them are ever patient, to give me time to work through it, or explain my hesitations....

I think either tomorrow or Friday I will block him, because I have a strong feeling, nothing dramatic has happened, he's not busy with work or family or friends....

He's just not interested and is a classic liar. Yes the way he got defensive about me not immediately believing him, was very telling...

Good guys don't shove it down your throat, they are decent, they let their actions and consistencies, speak for themselves.

Remember that lesson!!

Of course I'll update if there is any developments, but there won't be...

It's just nonsense..... You cannot, well you can, but it's much much harder to scheme on a call...

Insincerity tends to come out in someone's voice.... That's why calls are important and when someone resists...

What are they hiding? (I'm over my mopey session I had yesterday) ha.

For every person that doesn't want you, 10 more queue up to take their place.

I don't believe in soulmates but I do believe there are several people mean't for every individual..

It just takes some luck to hopefully cross paths, some are more fortunate than others :)

Being a spinster, isn't the end of the world, there are other ways to be fulfilled....

Like sharing your tales with others :)

Ugh I changed before I remembered I would do a same day Iceland order, luckily I just made the deadline and it's 2.30pm-4pm.

The community event outside is 1-3pm. I don't give a damn, I'm exhausted and sore.

The UC advisor kept me waiting for half an hour so my body was all stiff.

It made me inwardly roar with laughter that she was pissed to have to come down the stairs.

Why didn't you answer your phone? I'll confess here, the real reason.....

One you could have arranged a phone appointment prior to today that would have saved me a lot of physical pain...

But you are selfish, so you did not! Or you could have referred me to anybody else but you did not.

To you, my time is there to be wasted!

Secondly, I traipsed all the way down here, you're going to see me..

Thirdly I don't hear well or am received clearly outdoors on the phone, that's why I don't bother.

I told her, I didn't hear it. I didn't think it was pertinent to add, the phone is always kept on mute ha.

I just remembered something, wasn't the whole point of switching advisors, to been seen downstairs, to avoid the stairs?

They can't even keep up with their lies. Twits!

I feel no guilt and it's time to eat some pasta.

Today's ensemble as it was warm but windy. A black long top and over it a short sleeved purple tshirt.

Followed by brown trousers. The one thing about hair that is so fun as a woman, is flipping it.

I've missed that. It's so much fun. It's doubtful as it's no longer the morning..

But I hope G delivers my groceries, my back is hurting. We'll see..

#BlogLife1084 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 27 - Season 5 Sweet Magnolias

Hmm, well I guess this season seems more interesting than the last one.

I sent off about a thousand tweets about this current season, I think it's time for a Chatty Chicks..

I'm wondering if Erik's family vibe is perfectionism. It seems like he's trying to please them and not Helen.

He's not talking much and unburdening, but out to impress his niece who gatecrashed.

I wonder if she'll bring them closer or alienate Helen? Who already feels like the third wheel..

I guess they had to create conflict, where there isn't any. Sometimes I wish they would leave couples smooth for a bit..

I guess sometimes that isn't exciting enough.

Maddie and Cal seem mostly fine, except they seem on opposing sides career wise.

Cal wants 100% support and backing and Maddie isn't sure really.

Ronnie and Dana Sue worry me the most. He is consumed with his new business, his wife and daughter don't seem to matter and that's sad.

His new boss monopolises his time and he's thrilled and doesn't care about how that comes across to anyone else..

Even Jeremy said, I'd be careful to set boundaries, home life is important and that washed right over him...

I know they villify a character, when he/she leaves so is that what is happening?

Is the actor leaving?

To make it worse, now Dana Sue has a cantankerous former rival that enjoys baiting her and if she's not getting attention from hubby, she'll get it from him..

Not that she's flirting, but guaranteed he will be.

I'm so happy things didn't work out with Annie and Ty, he seems a user, when things don't go his way.....

Broken promises, just because she didn't run off with him and cancel her education, he continually doesn't visit..

I'm glad she dumped him and now has two guys chasing her.

One her Papa's employee, two a briefly visiting family friend's grandson I think...

I'm not surprised Helen postponed the wedding, with Erik withdrawing and people pleasing his family to such an extent that it's rigid and colourless.

Helen is vibrant sunshine, why would she want drabness???

Hmm I have a strong feeling the new property they want to acquire from Dana Sue's frenemy/new love interest/affair possibly...

Will go ahead, they will probably find a way to honour the legacy and make it a part of the building..

Hmmm so the gifts begin.. And Ronnie is being reckless, I wouldn't be surprised if he's the reason him and Dana Sue's house burnt down, which is gonna be another nail in the coffin for their marriage.

Oof not looking good, Ronnie's business has gone bust, Jeremy has pulled out and he wants to rebuild it.

If he had gone to Dana Sue with a plan and said. I'm going to get more investors.

I'm going to come up with ideas to make it profitable, give me six months..

Something like that, but he keep saying You have enough on your plate, I'll figure it out....

Instead of let's brainstorm, or talk it through together.... Breakup seems imminent!

Well I called it, Dana Sue wants a separation. Isaac is happy with his new beau.

Helen got married. Maddie and Cal are fine..

Ty is still mucking Annie around, meaningless texts, parcels, but no commitment. Pfft..

#BlogLife1083 - Nutty, fruity, yogy sandwich

Ahh I didn't think of it before but one of the Iceland substitutions was a sub roll instead of the round burger type and it actually works out better for the meatball sandwich.

Bit of herby Philadelphia, some burger sauce and all done. I wish I could add veggies but it's not in the budget this week.

I'm still enjoying the weather turning, this rainy mush is glorious. Me and blankie have been inseparable.

The baby meatballs are really tasty they have a nice seasoning to them, not salty, just good ingredients.

I did 4x because they are I guess the size of a mini doughball or a.. I can't think straight, but glad I got them.

Oof I'm actually full with that and it was small. I'll leave the chicken sandwich for later.

I sometimes think I'm famished and cook too much, then other times, I don't cook enough and go for more....

I can never predict my hunger...

Well another foodie mixture has cropped up. I wanted a third ingredient for the sweet toastie..

The Nutellaish spread was there, the frozen fruits that I forgot would turn soggy were there..

But something was missing? What else could be added? Then, I thought, would it be insane to add yoghurt??

Probably, so I got the strawberry one and poured in a few drabs, my my my, delicious sandwich.

I'm bloated and cramping so I can't tell if I am full or not. I'll just do some waffle fries to munch on and that's dinner.

I woke up to the strangest thing this morning. The phone didn't ring, I was drifting in out of sleep..

I saw a text and I thought ugh, spam or something and it said, Mrs H, can't make the appointment, will another day do??

Ha, what the hell.. How does someone misdial in this day and age?

I double and triple check the number prior to dialling... How do you call and text a wrong number, that would have been hilarious if I had answered...

Someone rambling and me laughing.. Umm, pardon a moi, I think you've got the wrong number...

What if it was a therapy session? I could have made a fortune on that call alone..

What if it was an embarrassing appointment? Oh well, I wonder how long it will take them to realise, they made a mistakey..?

Ok no more strange calls or texts. I think they wised up finally, ha.

Hmm an update for the butter body, it seems to need frequent shaking prior to use.

Normally it's like a lotion, when I shake it, it becomes a thicker butter.

What do I mean by this? When it's in thin lotion form, it absorbs quick and easy..

When it's in butter form, it takes longer to sink in, it sits there, but whatever form it's in...

My elbows are cracking worse and worse, really dry and the skin is breaking.

So it's been mixed results, but not great, I think 3x times I applied it yesterday and it didn't help..

I know the Radox bath soak helps, that's infused with essential oils..

But I'm stuck with these body butters now.

The fruits belong in yoghurt, that's the only place they taste good in really..

Looking through the messages on the volunteer site, I wonder why some people write as though they are telling a story...

To me it doesn't come off as authentic, it comes across like, I'm bored let's make something up for attention..

Suffice to say, I don't respond to those, I get enough time wasters.

#BlogLife1082 - UK vs US version of Mistresses..

I've just unpacked the shopping and G delivered it, so handy, no further backache, although I woke every few hours last night, so maybe that's why I feel drained and sore.

Everything was there but a few things were substituted and that's fine. 

The kitchen rolls were not available and that is irritating, you're telling me, all brands of that were out of stock??

I don't think so Iceland, either you were to lazy to provide a substitution or didn't want me to have a more expensive brand, tsk.

I thought I was nearly out, so that's why I was frustrated, I didn't want to do a top up shop and spend extra..

But turns out I didn't realise I have a brand new unopened pack, so that will last, maybe 1 to 2 weeks, I'm not really sure, I prefer to have extra, just in case.

I put the cupcake picture on twitter, they look nice, I thought one was chocolate, but that's ok.

They are soft and sweet, just the right amount of icing and a great bargain. I would get them again.

I actually don't feel hungry right now, it's only 11amish, so I'll try it later.

Wow the fruit bag looks tiny but it's still probably better value, than what is currently offered.

The meatballs look even tinier and they will shrink ha but again, there is a fair few included in the pack.

I have to do a mini laundry load and I've already taken the bins out so that's done.

Ok so tried the fruits, umm, hmm, definitely not as sweet as I hoped and nor is the nutella knock off but it does go together.

Maybe the key is to have it in small doses and surprisingly I have left over yoghurt, which is a bonus.

I always miscalculate but then again, it depends on my appetite, sometimes I'm famished and not satisfied and other times, I'm content with the portions..

Today is absolutely freezing which is nice, but in the late afternoony, it could still be boiling.

Ahh there is a UK version of Mistresses, that probably came out first, same sorta storyline.. Mixed details from the American version.

That's from 2008. I don't remember it and not sure if I watched it before.... Interesting though..

Out of both of them, The American seemed more drama-led I think, that had an edge and was more compelling.

I wonder if this one will turn out differently..

I'll do the Nutella-ish toastie later. I typically crave savoury things first.

I really do wish I could get a mud mask but not pay the earth for it.

I plucked my brows but the shape has already gone and I don't want to over pluck it.

I had cramps all morning but soon after I put on the binaural beats video they stopped.

I think my tum needs food soon but I'm not hungry yet. I'll do the uc stuff first and then as it's Thursday the Looney Tunes Mayhem event will start at 2pm.

But I want to get some volunteering done before that also.

#BlogLife1081 - I did an oopsie.... Eek/ Toasted fondue?

I shouldn't multitask but I can have about 7 tabs open and switch between them easily.

While I was munching and chatting, I meant to copy and paste the last sentence I wrote and for some reason it copied and pasted the blog link...

Oh my goodness, I cringed so hard. No no no, that was not supposed to happen.

So I quickly blocked him, closed the page, turned red and normally it hides the messages and says this person is offline now.

I hope that is what happened. I like to keep my private life, private!

That is the first time I've done that, I think. I've just done the shopping for tomorrow, I didn't feel like ice cream or ice poles because the weather is chilly, even though it's sunny.

The day started off raining, which was heaven to my ears. I've actually seen appealing stuff at Iceland but I am waiting for the sale.

Lemon loaf cakes are delicious, it's £3 for 4x I think but it doesn't say how small the mini is... Lil pricey for me.

I recall they stocked it years ago as a single, maybe a £1 or £2 and it was so good.

I'm glad it's back, but prices keep creeping higher ugh! On the plus side there was 6x cupcakes for a £1, now that's amazing value, I bought that to try.

And for a change beef meatballs, I'm going to make sandwiches/burgers with those.

Oh ok the frozen berry fruits mix is Iceland branded, I thought it was someone else.

2x 430g bags for a fiver. I guess that's ok. Insane the amount of different fruits included.

I wonder if it will be equal. Fruits are so versatile, it could be paired with waffles, yoghurt, pancakes, solo, smoothies..

Or in my case a (Nutini) Nutella knock off and croissants/toast...

I've never done this before so I'm excited. I'll grill the bread first and not sure how I'll defrost the fruit, maybe when I wash it in warm water possibly..

It just makes me think of a fondue, even though I've never experienced that..

Chocolate liquid and then various fillings, smothered in it, with the bonus of hazelnut also... :)

Hmm I don't think I want warm chocolate spread either, will add it after.

It's going to be messy and a lil extra work. Oh I just thought of another weird addition from watching Jamie Oliver..

He did a chocolate avocado thingy dessert. Hmm not sure about that blend either...

If I'm missing savoury, the bread and croissants will give that edge..

And if I get tired of the sweet sandwiches, I got a Philadelphia cheese garlic and herb for the beef/fish/chicken burgers, plus I might go mad and put some veggie spring rolls into it...

Mix it up, so the flavours are all different and wild, ha. Even though I don't cook really, I'm trying to be a lil more adventurous.

I'm already getting bored of bread, so hopefully this will give it a new dimension...

Oh and I even tried that burger sauce with a plain cheese toasty and it gave it a kick, not spicy, just more flavour.

A really good investment.

#BlogLife1080 - Reality vs Reality...?

I know reality shows are a bit of fun and escapism. I want to shut off my brain and tune in for the dramas and different types of behaviours and revelations..

And to learn about how couples relate to each other because I've never been a part of a couple and doubt I ever will be, so this is the only way to observe it.

It brings up questions for me..... Should you change for someone?

Or is it personal growth? How do you maintain a semblance of yourself while trying to please someone else?

Is that healthy? Will you end up with resentments or be thankful you've grown with confidence?

I've seen instances where someone is shy and reserved and they are paired with someone outgoing and talkative..

It doesn't really mesh well, the confident one, loves the sound of their own voice too much and the quiet person, observes and takes it in..

I'd take it personally if someone said I don't like your dress style, let me take you shopping to pick things out for you.....

Hmm, my style is my own, if you don't like it, don't wear it.

But if they said it differently.... I would like to treat you and further explore some more feminine outfits that I think you would feel and look great in, obviously the final decision is yours..

Then I would be more receptive to it. I'd still have my own input and to be honest, I do mainly wear trousers and pretty tops because I'm not the most comfortable in dresses or skirts.

To be honest, I haven't tried on a dress in years. I wonder now with this significant weight loss, would I look better?

I look in the mirror and I see this heavy set person, when I don't look in the mirror, I see a smaller version of myself.

With dating, I know you have to put the effort in and look nice for one another, but you also have to feel good in your chosen attire, otherwise you spend it awkwardly self conscious..

Hmm I kinda stick to the same toastie routine, cheese, egg or meats..

I'm thinking of changing it up and making it sweet toasties instead.....

Jam is too sweet, I thought there was a reduced fat one in Iceland but nope.

The problem is, so is hazelnut spread but what if I tapered it with something savoury?

I thought fruits but it's a lil pricey... Then lemon curd, is an interesting ingredient... Sweet, yet tangy...

I know most would pair it with bananas, but that's not my thing. Pears would be interesting but again, pricey and I need something to stretch it out for the week...

I've seen the frozen berry fruits are on sale 2x £5, which is better than paying £3 for 1 bag and it won't spoil..

Could be like a brekkie dessert type thingy...?!

I know it seems like sweet on sweet, but sometimes blueberries, raspberries and redcurrants have a slight bitterness to them.

Plus there is blackberries, strawberries and blackcurrants. It just sounds like a tall glass of Vimto, which was a blended berry drink, yum.

I'm not completely sold on the lemon curd.... I'll keep looking...

The other crazy thought I had was adding cereal to it or oats, sounds strange but intriguing or nuts...

All this has to fit into a budget.. I might just leave it to the fruit and chocolate...

I could do the same with croissants, make them loaded with chocolate and fruit....