There seems to be a lot of assumptions about why a person chooses to be alone or doesn't particularly welcome you in their life..
1. Stop assuming I have no people skills.
I can carry a conversation, initiate, listen, be witty or serious. I'm not fazed by that, unlike some others who brag about how confident they are...
And fall to pieces, if you suddenly go quiet and let them lead!
2. It is a personal choice.
I'm not horrendous to be around. Why is the perception to blame the soloist for being unlikeable, instead of perhaps intensely guarded? Is beyond me.
3. My life experiences greatly differs to yours.
I have been through a hell of a lot in my life.
Maybe....... Just maybe, that has contributed to it.
4. I've always been independent and I will always love my own space.
Why do you think I will desperately latch on to you, like you are all that and then some pfft?
If anyone should be counting their blessings here.. It's you!
Whether it's a romantic entanglement or a friendship or even an acquaintanceship...
I like space to breathe and hear my own thoughts quietly. I'm not on call for you 24-7 and frankly any company drains me.
5. Why is it you think. Oh it's obvious, she won't prioritise others needs, that's why she's alone..
Ahem. Big falsehood. I will make time for others and give them what they need.
Why am I automatically labelled selfish? Did it ever occur to you, that though I strive to support others...
I do not get the same care and concern back?
6. I'm not You! You need people or have a need to be liked or surrounded or ego boosted or to be popular..
I don't feel any of that. All I want is to be accepted and seen for who I am, not who you want me to be, to fit in to your ideals.
7. You must be shy or lacking in confidence, poor thing..
Stop labelling me! I'm random in the moment. I can be nervous, confident, arrogant even.
But that's not the reason I'm not engaging. I just have no interest.
8. Did it ever, even once occur there could be a medical reason behind my reluctance to go out?
That it's an immense challenge to battle my mind and body and have to psyche myself up first, before exiting the building?
9. Very few people are worth over taxing myself for.
When I get home, I might be dizzy or disorientated moving around to get to my room and sit down to take the weight off my tootsies..
Then it almost seems overwhelming to get back up, get some water, change and deal with whatever else needs my attention.
I've got to deal with the intense pain shooting through every part of my body and the extreme fatigue that's drowning me..
10. Listen Dollface, (I don't know why I love that name for sarcasm, it just makes me laugh).
(Back to the post)..
All the above is pretty flowery words but humans are sociable creatures.
You can't just not be a part of it. I forbid this rebellion..
You listen to me Dodo! The great point about being an individual, is that I don't have to conform.
I will decide if I want to socialise or not, on my own terms.
People have not been kind or decent or respectful. I've gotten to the point, where I wonder why I bother?
I like my walls. I like my safe space and most of all. Unlike you, with zero standards, I choose to be selective about who I let close to me.
