Christmas defrazzlement

This week has been decidedly rocky. The nausea is coming and going but for the most part it is over with however my physical endurance was pushed to the limit and I felt very dizzy and unsteady on my feet. 

Before I never used to feel lightheaded or shaky but now it comes on unexpectedly. I would usually choose the lift option but that was unavailable. 

I'm surprised I made it down the stairs I was shaking so badly and welling up because it was all too much. I have tried to put it behind me but it keeps haunting me.

I was basically told that because I look normal he made a judgement call that I didn't need any special treatment/assistance and so point blank refused to aid me but this week saw me crippled in pain. 

His uncooperative self had to profusely apologise over and over because I was literally shuffling forward half a centimetre at a time and holding onto the walls to steady myself.

Too little too late. I am not in the habit of lying or exaggerating my health conditions so when I request help or allowances be made for me that is not a whim. 

That is because inwardly I am screaming in pain and about to collapse from the strain of staying upright.

I'm so glad this year was nothing like last Christmas, putting my foot down and requesting that I know whether or not I will be away for the holidays was the sane thing to do. 

I left on the 23rd and was pricing cabs around and then looking around for my phone that I had in my hand a second ago when the cab pulled up. 

It had all my playlists and daft games on it and I would have been lost without it. It was only when I arrived safely at mums that I found it at the bottom of my overstuffed bag. 

Such a relief.

It only took me stepping into her home to feel the burdens lifted and the stress dissipating immediately. From then on I just switched off and let all my issues fade away. 

I had planned to do some writing and blogging but I just didn't have it in me. December had been such a rough month that all I wanted to do was catch up and have some fun and that's exactly what I did.

Presents wise I got some headphones, hair accessories, giftcards, speciality cake and creams. The gifts I bought went down well, mum loves her chic red microwave slippers. 

It went by too quickly but it was a wonderful festive time for me.