#BlogLife566 - Saying I'm sorry and meaning it

Song of the day - Gold - Tolan Shaw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8_vSYkEQ5g&list=FLI0DEk_aDykRP0sJnme-JBg&index=1

I heard this on the show Sen Cal Kapimi. I'm not sure why they play it so frequently though.

Granted it's a nice song, but spread it out and mix others in. Oh and they must be sponsored by Head and Shoulders because there is no other shampoo used and that cracks me up.

It's just odd in the middle of the workday to be washing your hair. Bahaha!

These things are supposed to look seamless and natural and not obvious. Good grief!

I had a crazy start to the day, my head was just rambling with stories and I wasn't concentrating.

I was putting my lenses in and I think maybe I have only ever done this once or twice.

But I put both hard lenses in the same eye and was wondering why it wasn't blurry.

But one lens has slid up and one was over the eye. I just quickly removed what I assume is the right one, from my left eye and then queue the burning and crying.

I'm all good now and just checked the tracking, hopefully the bedlinen will come together from Hermes.

Hmm I not sure though one says 4pmish and the other 3pmish.

I think what's bothering me about Sen Cal Kapimi is that Eda is expressing herself and saying she feels wronged and expects an apology.

And Serkan keeps ignoring her pained expressions and words.

That's not okay. If someone mistreats you and doesn't atone, doesn't respect how you feel, they will keep doing it.

It's really important to think about how your words and actions affect people.

And if you've made a mistake, innocent or not. Face them and admit you were thoughtless and having really gone over it.

You've realised that it wasn't kind. I want you to always know your value and truth worth.

That you are amazing and sweet and good-natured. Don't let people walk all over you.

Say actually. I don't appreciate your tone. I deserve better. Re-think your attitude and when you're ready and mature enough to apologise.

I'll be waiting..

#BlogLife277 - Men never over apologise, why the hell should we??

Us girls grow up being taught to respect others and be patient, listen and forgive and understand. It's drilled into us to make allowances and to showcase good manners and be polite.

I'm not sure if men are taught the same thing because you don't find men, apologising over and over and feeling guilty for a genuine mistake.

They don't seem to beat themselves up and analyze where it all went wrong and how it should have proceeded differently, they instantly move on, at least in my case, but we do.

Even if we are being shouted at and it wasn't our fault, that conscience of ours, bothers us and we instinctively say "I'm sorry."

Then we get mad at ourselves in the same breath and show resentment. Why the hell did I just accept responsibility, make him feel better and show contrition???

I didn't do anything wrong or if I did, it was not out of spite, it was an accident and yet I'm being punished for this simple thing and I feel bad.

There are so many times where he makes an error and doesn't feel disturbed by it but shrugs it off. If I demand some sort of explanation or amends, it is begrudgingly given without any true feelings behind it.

It is maddening, the double standards. Men get away with murder, cause destruction and we women are left to tidy up and pick up the pieces.

Well time to change it around. If you must, own up and admit fault and then atone once but don't dare do it more than that.

You were/are brave. To hold your hand up and say, I did that and I admit I was careless but I will try my best to come up with a workaround.

Then move on, feel better, heal yourself and know that you're still a good person who isn't perfect but at least has the courage to do what's right and face the consequences, so don't let anyone tear you down for being fearless!

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On a lighter note I saw the Galaxy Chunk Orange biscuits for a £1 a while ago but only recently tried them. I've always adored zest so I thought these would be ideal.

It actually is thick and full of flavour. I don't think it's overpowering, to me it has the right balance, not too sweet or bitter.

Very crunchy and a good size. It would rival hobnobs or digestives as a dunking treat. 

There is chocolate bits that cover the biscuit also, making it quite addictive. There was definitely more than 5 included, maybe 7 or 8 which is good value.

March musings

Good evening, almost :)

I hope you are all well and enjoying some sunny weather. I've just taken off the heating because I've been preoccupied with the blog.

To be honest, I wasn't sure whether to do a monthly update (musings) or BlogLife. I went with this one because I wanted to tell you all how sorry I am for the state of this blog.

Thank you for your patience. I felt really restless with the background and wanted to jazz it up. I don't know anything about the coding so I prefer my templates ready to install and not needing further edits.

The layouts aren't customisable for some reason so I have had to download a few dozen and see if I like them. Being a woman it had to emphasis something feminine.

If I saw another flowery theme though, I was going to hurt somebody. Shish we aren't all into flowers and hearts you know.

I'm sad that in the end I didn't get to try out the Bzz campaign for the eye drops. That would have come in so handy as my lens are irritable and I just did a protein tablet deep cleanse overnight to fix them.

On to the new theme, what do you think of it? I didn't want to have something flirty or provocative, that isn't how I want to represent the blog.

I am used to being in the shadows and not in the limelight. I want to observe others, not be the centre of attention. Having said all that.

I am desperately trying here, not to contradict myself. I feel like I have been playing it too safe. Unfortunately (and fortunately), there are a lot of intriguing fellow bloggers out there.

I need my page to stand out a little so that when new or my sweet curious regular readers seek me out, they may not see stunning photos but they will hopefully see some unique and interesting content to get hooked on.

On Twitter I said I was going to try and change the title and description colours because they are so hard to read but I don't even know if that is possible and today I am exhausted so it isn't happening anytime soon, if I can even attempt it.

I was just so relieved to finally have something I liked. It's not me but maybe that is a good thing? I keep saying I want to grow and promote myself and that starts with changes..

I never present you with an upload schedule because I'm afraid I wouldn't keep it, with the BlogLife series though, they are super easy to write.

If I continue, it should mean that you get more regular posts. I don't want people to get bored of it. I can only go by the reads and so far..

It does seem to be enjoyed, even though you naughty, naughty readers haven't joined in :D I am trying to include the silly answers and give more of myself in terms of stories or memories.

But honestly I am determined to have a mix of serious and lighthearted BlogLife chapters. I think that is more realistic. I know we all prefer a giggle, here and there but life isn't always like that.

I'm sorry.

I am truly sorry to all visitors and curious wanderers that have looked in on my blog. I lovingly created this space as an outlet for me but trying to personalise it and set it up is taxing my brain.

It's not only difficult but near impossible for me to ask for help, so I have to rely on Google and Youtube to assist me. 

I set up the Follow Me By Email button, subscribed and it was working albeit with a delay but I think I did something to mess it up and now it's not functonal and I spent some time during the night trying to correct it but it's too technical for me and I understand nothing of what the jargon is saying.

That's why as soon as the button appeared finally, I had to take it down.

I'm either going to attempt another fix or I will sign up with a third party and hope it's easy to attach it to the blog. One thing about the non existance of comments is, you can't shout at me for messing up :D

Bloglovin seems like a piece of cake compared to this. It's a shame they turned unprofessional and refused to acknowledge the unsavoury elements that put people off.

Another thing I would like to address if I can ever sort it out is that. I personally if I am able, am just going to be sending snippets of the post, just like I was advised to do on Medium.

I created this site for a reason and love having people stop by. It's as though all of you are greeting me and saying "lovely to see you, no time for coffee and a chat but I need a quick update and then I'll be on my way."

(If you ever change your mind and do want that coffee and chitchat, feel free. It would mean a lot to me).

If you were to read the whole thing in the email and stop visiting. I would be heartbroken. It takes a second to click on a link and I don't have adverts up. I am not trying to sell you anything. I just like sharing a part of me that rarely gets to be seen.

That's just my perspective and you may feel differently and go elsewhere but these are my poignant memories and creations and I need to showcase them in a colourful way.

Forgive me.

I wish you could all be notified when I publish but it seems as though, there is only one email a day.