#BligLife303 - Twisted tale of a former Yum Yum

Hmm.. Guess whose name I saw pop up on my screen?,

It was MD!! After a long week of nothingness! Now he decides to just say.. Hi!

At 1am in the bloody morning. I was getting tired but I was awake.

Wednesday after I wrote the last post, I blocked his number, as there didn't seem any point in delaying the inevitable. He didn't want to talk.

The whole thing seemed like a farce. He greeted me casually and I was so taken aback by it.

Why now? After so much time has passed? I thought?

I stopped what I was doing to yell at him. I basically said No no no, we're not talking,you had you're chance..

He was like ok take care. Then I kept yelling, as I didn't think I was going to get this chance or another and I wanted closure.

His excuses were lame...

1. There was a problem with my phone! 

I replied how convenient did it explode? He explained he was out of credit..

(Hmm.. There are things called shops, where one can purchase refills).

2. I was disappointed you didn't check up on me. 

(During a fricking row)? Why would I? We were on the outs and you weren't even communicating with any depth.

3. Then he said he was unwell. 

(I think he was going for the sympathy vote but I wasn't in the mood).

I told him, I hope he suffers until there is ever a time the clouds lift on our interactions.

We seemed to talk for just under an hour.

His version is.. I pushed him away and to a degree I did but after the argument, when I wanted to twist the knife.

What I will say in his defence is that, he does do all the initial calling/texting to me and these are lengthy each time and my phone plan is unlimited.

How did we leave things?

Well I have no idea. It was left up in the air. He said he was tired, I was too..

I don't think there will be a Part 2...

Something I do want to do is reread the texts to see if he ever said something mushy without being prompted.. 

I just perused the text transcript.. I avoided that till now and I have to he honest..

To give him his dues, he did make a lot of effort. He would send morning texts first.

He would call at lunchtime. I didn't ever do it first. As I felt like I would be disturbing him and he would answer out of obligation.

Plus he did say caring things about me that were unsolicited. I think it was the fact that he said it more in the beginning and less later on, that weighed on my mind.

I can hold my hand up and confess I was wrong in certain aspects. Oops..

However I wasn't mistaken about it all. I don't feel reassured of his sentiments and things are still so fraught between us.

It just doesn't seem like a natural thing to get in touch, even casually.

Part of me thinks that maybe this was just his conscience bothering him to clear things up.

He did say he wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings left between us.

He never said Well...... I missed you or you were on my mind. I was concerned or I wanted to know where we stood.

There was nothing like that at all. He could be being cautious or it could have been a Goodbye but in a more pleasant way, so that his brain could say, well I did my part and now it's done.

I can't say I really understand it. Why get in touch at all? Why not just leave it as it were.........Dead?

I'm going to conclude that it was him wrapping things up in a neat lil bow.

I'm not sure how I feel. Except bewildered. I guess I got to say the things I wanted too..

I just didn't get the answers or statements that I hoped for. I don't know if this was him making the effort and now he's expecting me to get in touch....

I kinda feel like if it was an olive branch and he actually did apologise, somewhat, I would have felt more hopeful.

The apology just seemed empty or forced. It's difficult to read someones tone over text or chat though.

I can only do it by phone calls, in these types of circumstances.

I just felt like once again I told him what I needed and he bypassed my requirements.

Then again maybe he sees it as, he's reached out a lot and I haven't and it's just not worth the time.

I need to stop rambling and wrap this up. In conclusion. I need lunch, as I skipped breakfast and I don't think I'll be contacted from him again.

This is the final Goodbye parting. I expect.

Toodles MD.

I have to start getting over you, from the beginning, once more....

Oh forgot to add, I did relish gloating on the fact I had written two posts about him and would be making a third and he would never get to read them!!

He doesn't have the blog link, never asked for it and now won't ever get it.