#BlogLife308 - Letting go and being pulled back...

I've been keeping the fan on at night and hoping that it will help me nod off quicker but it hasn't helped.

I don't feel as suffocated but my mind just keeps being active and thinking about things and people.

If you're following my posts, you'll know that I blocked MD but with a Samsung phone, there is an option to check if messages/calls are left by the person in a folder.

I was checking daily and then decided. It's ridiculous, he put all the blame on me and didn't take any responsibility.

I stopped scanning and focused on other things. I mean we hadn't spoken since the 3rd July so there was no reason to look back.

He made it clear he wanted to part company so fine, I don't want someone around that doesn't wish to be.

Today I'm not sure why I slipped and decided to look at that folder, expecting as usual to see nothing.

But there it was, a cluster of messages from Monday and then yesterday.

Rather than him calling the shots. I figured out what I need. I think a phone call would clear the air.

And I'm actually glad that I didn't see his words until today. Let him stew for a bit for a change!

He said that he wants to be friends and misses my laugh. I don't know what to make of it.

He just seems to be playing games, one minute obliterating our communication and the next, popping by, to reiterate it's over.

Then further still, letting a lot of time pass and communicating randomly.

I kinda wonder if, he decided it wasn't quite for him and instead of sharing that fact, he put it on me and disappeared.

Thought I was an unforgettable fem but the realised too late. I'm unique...

Before I could stop myself I replied to his text and said.... You confuse me.

Will update you when I know more...