#BlogLife394 - The randoms are haunting me...

They are just popping up one after the other, shish. I feel slightly torn but not enough to respond back as none of them, valued the friendship/acquaintanceship I offered them.

It's so easy to go back into bad habits and get sucked in to a "good" on the surface interaction with MD/J and countless others but afterwards it's just the same emptiness that follows, which isn't nice.

I have so far managed to ignore them all. If I start a conversation or admit I'm angry, it just spirals and then I end up softly forgiving them and I don't want to do that.

I don't feel angry as such or mopey, just matter-of-fact. I think the one thing that does irritate me, is they knowingly approach me knowing I give in easily and always coax me into a chat.

You would think they would respect my decision and leave me alone but it's another case of, they care about their own needs solely, forget what I want. Pfft!!

Sometimes I like being really silly, especially if I'm not feeling great and worrying about this or that.

One guy said, can we talk? And I giggled and wrote back, do you have an appointment?

He was not best pleased haha. Other times I will just make fun of their randomly picked on the spot usernames and they've already forgotten them, so they have no idea what I'm talking about.

It makes me chuckle if they play along though, many are humourless though so I make my excuses early and bid them a good night.

At times I feel like a mixologist, I'm standing there adding water to the vimto and it's too weak and then too strong and then I adjust it and roll my eyes and get back to my snuggly blankie.

I've had some thoughts about the Christmas story. I've picked a title, some names and a gist of the style.

I just haven't come up with a concept yet. I'm not sure if this is the way to go but I'll see if it works as I write it out.

It's a beginning anyway..

Hmm I got conversing with another random and he was alright but I didn't feel the sparkles that I need to maintain it.

I was upfront when he asked to keep in touch and I politely declined but somehow we kept bantering on and then it migrated to a call.

I'm not sure how this happened. I was beginning to get sleepy but sometimes this is how these things go.

I had already stated I wouldn't give my number out and would only call on witheld digits but he took me up on the offer and just gave his number.

I was hoping that would have deterred him but nope lol. He was determined to have a phone conversation so I gave in and somehow knew it wouldn't be to my tastes.

We spoke for maybe 10ish minutes I guess. It wasn't great, he had a thick accent I could barely grasp and even he kept saying pardon to my sentences.

In the end I said I was tired and that this would be a one off and he was perfectly accepting of it and didn't try to change my mind or get angry, thankfully.

I am fussy but I think we all deserve to have our standards met. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and not settling for less than.

I have an appointment Monday to see the Optometrist about my right lost contact lens. I'm not sure how long it will take to make and get delivered.

Hopefully not longer than a week. It's hard enough to see and now it's faint and blurry.