#BlogLife425 - The pain that never goes away..

I wasn't sure what I wanted to talk about today. (Thursday) but sometimes when I get it off my chest I feel better.

It's 10pm and tomorrow will be a long day so after this I will hit my bed and hopefully sleep well enough for a few hours at least.

I want to get an early start and avoid all the traffic of people shopping and travelling to work.

I feel I did sleep for a bit and then I think by 8am I was drifting in and out, making sure I hadn't overslept.

I did set my alarm, turn the heating on high and then sleep a lil bit more.

I think 11amish I uneasily just decided to get ready. The appointment wasn't until 2pm but either I have sluggish movements or times goes extra fast.

I didn't really feel too sicky, a bit here and there but it passed and I forgot to take my humbug mint sweet with me to control it.

I guess I didn't need it anyway. The journey there was fast but as I was standing, the bus was really jerky.

I had such a death grip on the pole, that my hand started getting really sore and stiff.

It's not usually that bad and it's still throbbing now. An early rest will hopefully sort it out.

I didn't nap. I just felt like there was too much to do, eat, emails, blogging, advent comps and other stuff..

It took maybe my usual 10 minutes and I arrived 10 minutes early so I just called up to notify that I was around.

Only to be told Dic-tator was on his lunch break but he knew that I was coming.

You couldn't have grabbed a sandwich and came back or postponed it a lil??

He doesn't see me when I'm late, now doesn't like when I'm early?? Don't schedule it around your breaks then, idiot!

So they keep asking me to come upstairs and I have to explain that I'm disabled and that aggravates my conditions so they say, ok, we'll find someone else.

I pace around in the tiny downstairs foyer bit as standing still, just makes it worse.

Some time later, someone comes down and says, give me your details and we'll just pass it on.

Oh and you didn't need to come today, there's no paperwork for you to sign.

Grrrrrr!!! Jerk called me in for no reason!!! Then Dic-tator casually strolls in, surprised to see me.

Remarks oh just wait and I'll get something. I just nod and inwardly do an eye roll and the pain is getting unbearable now and there is nowhere to sit!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for bringing a chair down, you lying so and so!!!

Then he comes down again and says you know, it's fine, you can just leave, see you in January!!!

I just hurried off, bought sushi, sandwiches and some weird chocolate flapjack cakey bar that wasn't bad.

The bus home was supposed to be a few minutes and then it arrived and the driver just vamoosed.

Not a good sign when the replacement is nowhere to be found. The timetable then changed to 8 minutes or some crap.

Then when it finally arrived, there was all this roadworks and man made traffic lights and we just kept stopping.

I'm sure I didn't get home until 3pm! Grrrr!!!

No you bloody won't. I'll be blissfully away, or at home, (but he won't know that).

I'll just request phone appointments. He's made me travel in the slippery snow, when I've been nauseated, made me climb the stairs when I've felt dizzy and had blurred vision and refused to see me, when I'm a few minutes late.

I need a break. Physically and mentally so he can jump off a cliff!!

I really don't know what it's going to be like when I'm away, hence the uncertainty about writing.

I've been really stressed and drained so I definitely hope that I can relax and be kinda empty and numb for a bit, not in a bad way, but in a... I really need to switch off!

Panicking slightly, that I'll forget something. The bags already seem overstuffed but I guess lighter, when the presents and snacks are handed out and consumed.

I just don't want to forget the fish, chargers, lens case, phone, or presents. Writing it, helps it stick in my memory.

What's on your festive wishlist?

Mine is headphones, warm nightshirts, chocolates. slippers and peace.

I can see myself getting the majority of the above myself, which I'm not fussed about.

I never ask for anything as it seems a bit greedy. I like shopping for bargains and my own personal style anyway.

Goodnight :) and take care of yourselves. I may not be around but I'll be scribbling away.