#BlogLife527 - Illegal avocado order

Iceland had a whole bunch of noodles and I saw a brand called Koka which is unfamiliar.

It was beef flavour for 45p and it took about 8 minutes to cook and for the water to dissolve.

Still piping hot and there is a lil sachet and it's good enough for a meal.

I was going to cook some meatballs to go with it but I had some crackers and cheese as a starter and I don't feel like anything else.

I usually go with the chicken ones as they are the safe bet, I usually like those, anything else is hit or miss.

But for a change I went with the beef and it's really tasty. Thin to medium noodles, a lil salty and a good strong taste of beef.

It's Monday afternoon and I was hoping for a nap after I got in with a Mama and me day but my head was too awake.

It's been a really horrid and nice mixed day. I started off throwing up, my hair looked really cute today.

The new tops arrived in blue and red, lovely summery colours and I got my brows done first which was great as Mama was running late.

Then we both got the massagey pedicures £30 altogether for me. I feel really delicate and off but at the same time, not typically sick.

It's hard to explain but this headache is the worst, 4th day now I think, that it keeps coming and going and I don't know what the cause is.

I'm trying to rest, trying to keep hydrated enough. I do miss the naps but I just find it so difficult to achieve them in summer.

It's funny because I've got the eye gel mask resting on my forehead and when the courier came I was in my nightie with it on, must have looked strange ha.

I'm not sure it is helping but I'm keeping it on for a while longer.

The pedicure was great, she gave me the cream and the scrub massage but because all of me had stiffened up, the hardest part is trying to balance and put my socks on.

I really hate that part because it involves bending and gripping a chair and the pain is building with any movements so it's a relaxing experience for the most part but some elements are horribly awkward.

By the time we hopped on a bus to get to the cafe, I was shattered but really thirsty and peckish.

She decided to have scrambled eggs on toast and I was surprised they had an avocado option because a while back she said they stopped serving avocado.

This got me excited even though the headache was coming on and I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep.

Chronic exhaustion is like you are running on borrowed energy and these days even resting doesn't increase the stamina, once it's depleted that's it, done for the day.

But I wanted to sit and chat as both our birthdays are upcoming and I don't know if I'll make it down there, with Dic monopolising my time.

Oh an amusing thing is, we have similar tastes in a few tops and nighties, so a few of our outfits are quite alike and she has a youthful vigor so she can get away with anything really.

She had bought some cooling mists for me and I handed over the lipbalm, fabric scent booster and some curlers.

Oof taking big steps and walking seems to be a bad idea at the moment. As my body hasn't healed itself, it's still tender and in need of pure rest, which I wish I could give it.

I keep getting up for refills and I wanted a light snack but I couldn't see anything appealing so I'm cooking the other beef noodle sachet.

This is the Batchelor's one for a £1 and it's also beef as most things I get are chicken.

Their chicken version is superb actually. I just going to let the water evaporate and let it cool down as my appetite has disappeared again.

In the cafe I politely enquired if they could do a fried egg and avocado panini and she came out with the softest convoluted response ever.

My head was splitting apart at this point and I didn't want to think or work out what the hell she was trying to say.

From what I can gather, egg and toast is fine, avocado and toast are fine but a mixture of the two together is forbidden to put together.

If I wasn't so confused because I've now just worked out what she mean't, I would have laughed at her.

You would think it was an allergic reaction product, like shellfish or peanuts or I can't think of another one and I just shrugged and I think Mama just completed for me.

Paninis were a no-no but rolls or toast were acceptable. It was so ridiculous.

So it arrived dry with no butter or mayo or any sauces but I don't use butter anyway, the egg was on the side and a whole avocado was on the two wholemeal toasts.

Plus the tiniest 1 or 2 leaf salad but the saving grace was a lemon slice and I shared with Mama and offered her as much avocado as she wanted, as she loves it too.

The lemon juice which I would not have thought of adding, saved it from being bland.

Although the egg was lightly seasoned and when I put it all together, it was delicious..

I struggled with the heaviness of the fillings. I was bloated but peckish and I was a bit worried about being sick again.

But I had no energy and I was feeling increasingly worse so I took my time but ate the whole thing, (minus removing avocado chunks) and drunk a whole bottle of lucozade, which is unlike me.

I never finish the drink or the meal because in the back of my mind, I'm conscious of being perceived as an over-eater.

Even though it's a small to medium dish. It's something that never escapes my mind completely.

And I don't stop myself from munching, I automatically will not have those extreme hunger pangs, just mini ones that disappear after I start devouring a lil of the meal.

if I'm famished, my brain has told my stomach so many times, that's enough, after a few bites or nothing at all, in public places not to consume, that's it is a permanent fixture.

I run on auto-pilot and it's the same with not oversharing, my defences are up and it flashes a warning, if someone is asking too many personal questions...

Why do they need to know that? What will they do with that information?

Anyway, I'm home chilling out and the weather is mild so I'm going to put the heated blankie over me and if I drift off, that will be nice.

Maybe the noodles will settle me and writing this out, even though I have a few posts in my drafts that I was going to publish, will switch off my brain, enough to fall asleep.

If my body is knackered but my mind wants to talk, sleep never comes.

Oops two things, am trying the Batchelors which has the strongest scent but is bland to mild. I don't recommend it.

I'm really disappointed but I did put too much water maybe that is why.

The Koka is much nicer. I just wanted to do a quick comparison.

The other thing was the youngest abusive sibling has moved in with Mama for a month, instead of forking out for a hotel or crashing with friends.

Due to the fact he is leaving for good again to live abroad and we both hope he stays because she looked exasperated.

He's selfish and spoiled and has a nasty threatening temper so I told her, not to take any of his nonsense.

She is an early riser and he sleeps in and expects her to be all tiptoeing around her own damn house!!

I forgot to ask when he's leaving actually. I don't want to be there, if he's around.

I know I'm not supposed to say this but it's like an early birthday present.

I don't have to be afraid. I don't have to cower. I don't have to flee to safety.

So when I stay there, if there is anything Mama wants me to do for, then that's fine, if it's within my abilities, I will go ahead.

But he, it's like he considers himself a Lord that doesn't have to respect others or pay some kindness back and I've never gotten that.

Because Mama was saying she has an early Doctor or hospital appointment to take care of her skin or feet and the buses don't always run super early.

She said he has a car but will struggle on the bus, if need be. That angers me sooooo much.

You can't get your butt up to give her a lift when you're staying rent free?????

I don't drive so I can't do it. There's no kickback for him so it's not a consideration. No money, no favours, nothing.

But why should she have to bribe him for a small favour???

I doubt he would have the decency to say, I was not planning on getting up early, but if you need something I would be more than happy to accommodate you.

She would probably have to ask or more likely, she will wait and see if he offers.

She didn't say anything when I said he's an entitled spoilt brat but it made me inwardly smile when she said, after he'e gone, it will be done and she can relax.

I doubt he will stay away for good, he comes back to sponge for favours and cash too often.

Would be nice though. The first thing that popped into my head was a sibling-free Christmas.

No ego, no drama, no demands, no scariness or threats or violence.

Sheer bliss. If the other two moved off the face of the earth, I could breathe.