#BlogLife536 - Inside the mind of a narcissist/How I treat your Mama

Good evening to you all. I hope you're in a good mood, doing something for yourself this weekend.

I definitely am relishing every second of feeling more physically well and the tensions slowly leaving my body.

I'm in two minds whether or not to purchase another mud mask and/or a scrub or maybe a combination of them both.

I'm not liking the Argan one, it's doing nothing beneficial and it's awkward to use.

My face is still breaking out and excessively dry which is bugging me because with the moisturiser applied, it switches to oily, yuckity.

With the stand-in showers like Mama has I squirt the scrub on the floor and just rub my feet along it and boom, they are smooth again.

I do try to stay out of the family drama's but crikey I get pulled into it.

The younger sibling aged 40yrs continues spouting garbage and Mama is biding her time until the freeloader leaves her in peace.

I don't like the fact he doesn't knock at the front door and waltzes in like he owns the place.

I don't care it's family. Knock, ask politely if this is a convenient time to visit and wait for a reply and to be welcomed in.

Then he scrounges meals, drinks and supplies and would never think to say Hey Mama, thanks for all you do, I've bought you replacements or dinner tonight.. So you don't have to fuss over me, for once.

Or I don't need a thing from you, I just popped in to see if you required any help at all or favours?

The first I thing I did was pay for a Chinese banquet for us at her favourite restaurant and packed away the laundry.

Then he goes out and returns at Midnight where Mama has to get out of her bed and take the lift down to let him in, which further disgusts me.

Or he will call late at night and say can I come around for some water??

You have a tap, you have the option to order food or drinks or go shopping, there is literally a shop opposite here.

He really lacks basic decency and manners. As a reminder he's renting the room above her (in this retirement complex) because he's too cheap to get a hotel.

Then instead of buying simple toiletries like toothpaste, shower gel, water, he comes and uses the shower, shaves here and just uses her inventory, without replacing them.

Plus angrily demands the hot water be on 24-7 because he deserves it.

Doesn't want to pay her extortionate bills but wants the privilege of taking the mickey constantly.

This is a truly sick individual and it kills me to be civil to him but that's the predicament I'm in.

He was literally bragging about money incoming because he claims to have sleep apnea and narcolepsy.

Maybe apnea but not narcolepsy. The reason the fool is sleeping in the day is because he's out partying late.

He literally slept for an hourish on the sofa, to the inconvenience of everyone having to tiptoe over him.

If you're tired, go home!!!! Then we won't have to hide our purses because he's untrustworthy.

Mama said that any advice she relays has him arguing, swearing and screaming at her.

She told me he's outright confessed to using her and has frequently sworn and attacked her personality and life over email and in person.

She was so mortified and upset that she threatened to share the emails with the rest of her children but I said spread them to the whole of the family.

(I knew she wouldn't do that, as the family gossips and would make her look bad but that would horrify him because everyone would see him for what he is - an abuser)!!!!

That is what it took to stop that line of abuse. I honestly don't know how she can stand to look at him, let alone put up with him.

I've told her I'll be happy when they're both gone permanently. I don't think she realised I mean't when they're both dead but meh.

Intimidating and heinous is what they were, are and continue to be.

Oh yes he's changed, into a bigger monster. Now he's casually mentioning marriage and children like it's an every day thing.

Heaven help the wifey! Scary thought, I hope no woman is ever that desperate. He will be abusive and selfish and confrontational.

Him putting someone else's needs above his own? That would make hell freeze over and pigs would fly.

We both don't want him to return but of course he unfortunately always does, from his lil overseas excursions.

How does he pay for them? As he has not one, but 2 maxed out credit cards.

Good grief. I will never own a credit card and run up debts and be scared of fines and repossessions etc.

Do us all a favour and this time, stay permanently gone and fend for your bloody self!

Just going to add this as it was just relayed to me.

He got money (stole) from Mama over the years. Got £5k (I suspect twice that) from Mama's friend who he was taking care of and probably sponging off too.

I'm so glad the son has banned him with Police action from going near her or exploiting her further.

Just now he asked Mama if she could send money to bail him out if there's problems abroad and he was probably going to ask to stay with her again.

I'm glad she told him NO. I think now more than ever, she's recognising his nasty, bullying, ungrateful, manipulative side.

And has had more than enough of being taken for granted and berated over nothing.

I'm pleased I'm here for this because she seems stronger and more resolved to stand up for herself and not resigned to being verbally abused constantly. 

He leaves tomorrow (Monday 31st). It cannot arrive soon enough..

Holy moly. How do you not invest wisely, budget and make sound final decisions for your future? 

You're a fricking adult!! You act like an irresponsible man-baby. Throwing tantrums.

He brought a female friend over and I never really acknowledge them because I think either he is on his best behaviour around them or they don't care he's abusive.

Either way, how can you not know or see him as the despicable animal he is??

I cringed so hard when she said sincerely, Aww he's leaving you, how will you cope?

Mama had to act sad. Yeesh. Dumb dumb friends, not to see his narcissistic tendencies, which are all too obvious to the rest of us!!

I feel like the 2 siblings can hide their violent tempers around others but all beasts show their true colours eventually right??

Maybe I will get my wish and they will rot in jail in the future, one can only hope....

As then the cycle of abuse will finally be over.

They both have this weird entitlement ego where they have to control us and get their way.

If not anger and chaos ensue and I've had enough, for me and Mama, we deserve better.

Only prison or death will make it stop!

This has been circling through my head for a bit and I realised why.

Mama said the younger sibling has wished I was dead before and initially I was taken aback but then I thought, the feeling is mutual.

The reason he wants me gone as I am the lil birdie on Mama's shoulder saying, don't put up with this, say No, cut him off or ignore him for a bit when he's swearing at you.

There was a moment where he called from abroad to ask a favour and he kept repeating Oh don't worry I'll be calm and he was mostly.

But always on the verge of snapping. We both knew why he was even-keeled..

It was because he knew I was in the room listening so the audience had him maintaining his cool.

Then she told me the older one used to pull her aside and say speak to her, she's being unfair.....

Ha...... Because I was expressing an independent opinion that differed from your dictatorship????

Yeesh and then Mama just said talk to her yourself and sort it out.

What I realised bugged me about that is those two have no concept of being respectful and agreeable.

If they approached me and said, would you mind doing this? I would be open to it.

But they screamed dangerously and me and Mama always backed down out of fear of the repercussions.

I never had a bloody choice, a bloody say, in anything! I wished she spoke to them and said, you can't always be in control.

You have to learn to work together and compromise but she didn't and sticks up for the older one, who has "changed."

But try disagreeing and see the aggression return full circle. I hate being reminded of my childhood.

Of how this was a daily occurrence and I just withdrew from life and was a walking empty shell.

But life is different now and I have little to no contact with either.

I just don't understand the maliciousness of attacking me and Mama venomously, specifically us but nice as pie, to other women, people, family.

Cursing, insulting, picking on our weaknesses, threatening to harm us?

How do they not feel an ounce of guilt and can carry on doing it routinely?

I can't fathom it but it's Mama I feel sorry for, she has to put up with it regularly.

I hope karma will catch up with them one day and show them what it's like to fear for their lives.

Fear for being outspoken. Fear for disagreeing. Fear for breathing. Fear for walking into a room and fear for being around!!