#BlogLife987 - I wish I could close my eyes

Well the day started off fine, although I would have liked more rest.

But then the cleaner didn't rinse off my lenses even I doused it several times with saline and my eyes have been burning and crying all day.

I'm still having trouble seeing. It's still hurting, I took them out, I've applied drops all day.

I've listened to binaural beats and put the eye mask on, it's helped somewhat but I wish I had some glasses to wear so I could see and remove them and give my eyes a break.

Plus I've got the cough and now sniffles, so definitely caught a bug, explains why I've felt really lousy.

I managed to do the Iceland shop but my eyes were struggling with the laptop screen, it hurts to blink, yeesh.

I bought mainly frozen food and lots of snacks, plus orange juice and this apple raspberry blend, as it's Christmas and I don't fancy Shloer grape juice actually, just some vitamin c.

I think I miss the eggy muffin and the eggy burrito from that cafe, I could probably get it from the Market but I might have to wait a while and my back would be hurting.

I think I've done everything on my todo list now. Just some tidying left.

In January or late December I'll cancel Prime so I don't get charged but I still need boots, a winter nighty and lil stuff I guess.

This year I haven't done the usual Christmas movies binge, I'm not really in the mood.

Somehow I don't think I will publish the Christmas story this year either.

Gosh to be honest, I'm not in the mood for anything but sleep.

Ok, I made a lil boo boo. I thought I had one last Avon face wash left, nope all gone and binned the last one.

Either I can get one from Zoom although not any that appeals. I tried Just Eat groceries, just mens washes or Simple, which I don't want..

Or I could wait until Monday when I go to the Market for the appointment or could try Prime..

Let's try Prime.. Well I did see an offer for something I wasn't looking for ha.

L'Oreal Paris had a cleansing milk, halfway between a toner and a moisturiser, I think from £5 to £2.37 which is really goo for 200ml.

Perfect smoothing and Anti fatigue, hmm it does sound like me..

Then to what I really needed, L'Oreal Paris again Revitalift Vitamin C cleanser 150ml from £7.50 to £6 ouchy.

But I work it out to about £4ish each and that's pretty good for a premium brand.

They are both due tomorrow. I couldn't imagine not washing my face, it can be horribly oily or dry.

They are not the cheapest but I have enough moisturisers for a long while now.

As I was feeling really sicky and exhausted, I wasn't really thinking straight.

No time for plucking, just about managed foundation, my hair is flat as I used a bit of oil, no rain actually, so that was nice.

I forgot to pop in to that speciality shop to see if they had any nice treats, but to be honest, I have things at home anyway.

My UC appointment filled me with dread, the advisor wasn't in and I was referred to that prejudiced guy who is quite nasty and mocking to those with disabilities and just generally rude.

And I thought I really will not stand for disrespect today. I'm feeling rough and why do I deserve it??

But after keeping me waiting, not calling my name, emailing me and asking why I missed the appointment..

His colleague noticed I had been waiting ages and asked who I was here for?

To be honest I just replied my usual advisor isn't here and my appointment was 10amish and then finally the horrid guy appeared and saw me.....

But wow....... Different attitude. I don't think he recognised me or maybe someone slapped him into behaving himself as he was friendly and polite......

Holy moly, a lobotomy maybe? I was just grateful. Any further stress and I may have vomitted on him.

The pizza place is still half price, so got wings, cheesy garlic bread and a large pizza for about £21.

I am freezing, got to put on the heating, plug in the blankie, hang up my coat and start on the advents and UC stuff.

I'll probably open the last pepsi to calm my tum...

Oh that was it. The last thing to mention. As usual Mama texted me late last night and said she'd call tomorrow...

Last priority, expecting me to scramble and accommodate her. No sodding way!

I told her straight Sorry, not coming, I have a bug, cough and sniffles and I am drained.

I think she expected it and said That's ok, maybe next year but I can't see myself staying with her for a while, not while I'm fragile.

I grew up having my needs ignored, catering to everyone else and the belief was that I don't matter.

What I think or feel isn't important. Now I'm getting increasingly sicker, I realise it is significant and always was.

It's still hard though to stick up for myself. The food just got here and I realised, yet again, I left the tap slightly trickling on.

How did I not see or hear it? Ugh I make so many mistakes. At least I have 3 weeks off.

Hopefully I didn't empty the boiler and have to callout repairers.. I'm going to leave it on until late today.

It's cold anyway. It's a shame the pizza place stopped doing the cake or toffee pie, those were nice, not homemade but still good.

Ok time to relax and then jump into obligations. Maybe more posts this week, I will play by ear....

De-stressing is the most important thing. If I get to a point where I'm calm, then maybe I can work on the stories..

I hope you're having a good break :)