Home for Christmas?

I'm so tired. I've been having horrendous pmt. I haven't been sleeping properly wondering whether to go to mums or stay home.

I don't know how many Christmases I have left with her and I couldn't bring myself to disappoint her and leave her alone as the other two seem stranded. 

I tossed and turned last night pleading for sleep but I hardly got any. Maybe an hour or two if I was lucky. 

I set the alarm and just got ready, packed and as usual left my Perfectil vitamins at home. There's always something I forget. 

I had a friendly cab driver who actually helped with the bags. Normally they sit there and pretend not to notice me struggling with three heavy bags. 

I'm just laying down typing while mum's out buying fresh bread. I don't think I can sleep but every part of me aches with exhaustion. 

I'm so glad my nightie from Amazon came prematurely. They predicted the end of the year. I got to try and locate it from the presents I got from mum.

I just have no energy. I'm lucky that yesterday I got my first real advent competition win.  A £10 Currys/PC World voucher.

I'll probably put it towards headphones. I hardly ever get lucky on the instant wins but sometimes fortune smiles at me. 

I'm stuffed having consumed a portion of mama's world famous (to me anyway) lasagne. She's been cooking it since I was preteen.

I never liked spicy food but Italian food, I fell in love with. I really can't keep my eyes open. One of the random's keeps bugging me.

As it's a new phone all the numbers are unblocked. I don't even know which one it is, who is suddenly bored and thinks I'll entertain him.. 

He texted saying hi. Nothing else, then called while I was in the cab. I just rejected it. I'm guessing it's Mr Clingy. 

What happened to the days when men had deep voices? The recent bunch all sound effeminate. Ugh, unappealing. 

I want a relaxing voice I can fall asleep with. Something soothing I can fractionally open up too and then dismiss when he's served his purpose and I need peace and space.

That's not harsh right? I'm just not a people person. I need solitude to breathe. The only thing that hasn't arrived is mum's Turkish delight.

I reckon the Lindor hazelnut truffles we'll open tonight and I have just tried them, absolutely lovely. I also tried on the nightie and it fits sublimely.

I bought it extra large and although it isn't as thick as I thought it would be. It's definitely a smart improvement on the others I would have chosen.

I just used my face brush for the first time in ages. I gave myself a mini facial with my mud mask and mum bought me a new face wash.

Pears I think it's called. Gorgeous fragrance and it was a pound. My skin is so smooth and soft now. I'm sure the lil blemishes I have will soon fade.

The only thing I miss is my cordless shiatsu massager for my aching muscles. I just could not bring a fourth bag though, that would be overkill.

Wish me luck that I'll finally sleep properly tonight...