#BlogLife219 - No gentleman

Hey all. I hope you are having a good week. If you are curious about what happened with J (the latest)?

Why are they all called J? Don't ask me, I had to do a double take and thought, another one? Why not Q or Z or X for a change?

My gut instincts were saying don't get in touch and it started to stress me out a bit.

Right or wrong, this is why I made this decision...

1. He is eerily similar to the last guy. Noticing the footwear. Asking me to get in touch and wanting to go to the same Pub.

It's kinda freaking me out, it's really peculiar.

2. Again he said "Text me when you get home." 

He should be the one to get in contact and say "Nice meeting you, hope we can get together again, no pressure."

Or something along those lines, without putting it all on me. I think that would have been a better approach and put me at ease.

I don't chase, I am chased! The last guy did the same thing and I'm not a fan of it. Have some courage and reach out.

3. At one point he brought up the subject of sex and massages. 

I find that inappropriate for a first conversation or even between acquaintances, it's too much.

4. I found it amusing and effeminate that he was fussing about the rain. 

It wasn't heavy but you could feel it and he was fiddling with a broken umbrella as we left.

He stayed under the shade and for me I have to keep moving and let the pain follow me, but not catchup.

I think not walking with me was just too dainty for words. When I had no problem with it.

The UK is famous for it's rainy weather. Am I going to constantly halt, under some shelter, instead of keeping my momentum going and managing the pain?

5. The insistence or enthusiasm you can call it for meeting him twice in one week?

I was put off by that a lot. I've never even seen a boyfriend that much, let alone a stranger?

It felt a bit too romancey/datey for my liking. As though he would bide his time and wait for me to get some mushy feelings or be an opportunist and make a sleazy move.

I could be ovethinking. Maybe he is just lonely or in a rut or expanding his social circle but it felt way too much.

6. Every time I tried to explain how drained and exhausted I felt with socialising and in general daily life, he kept getting more and more bewildered.

Either he thought I was lying or exaggerating. Either one of those is not flattering. 

Just because you don't understand someone's medical conditions, there's no need to be that cynical.

"I'll look it up on the internet."

"If you find this tiring. I'll definitely be too much for you/not right for you."

7. "I don't like independent women."

Granted he mean't in a romantic setting and I pointed out that most men want to feel needed and maybe a lot of us women now are finding we actually don't require them to be happy but they do.

It certainly is an imbalance but I feel like they should build up a more rewarding life, getting to know themselves and developing further interests/hobbies.

Possibly discovering what they want out of life or in a partner instead of lying their asses of saying, Yes I want a relationship, wait, No I don't!!!

Perhaps then they wouldn't feel so clingy and instead have more enriching experiences out of life.

8. His eye contact was all over the place. 

He did maintain a bit but he also kept looking all around for the majority of the time as though he was bored or waiting for someone.

That makes a poor impression in my opinion as though he isn't having a good time but instead just obligated to be there as though I was forcing him to stay like a hostage :D

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As I was mulling all this over. I realised that I find being around people is sapping my strength.

They just draw out all my happy, peaceful vibes and leave me empty.

I think the most I would be comfortable seeing people, would be every 3-4 weeks.

It seems like a lot of time but I'm pretty much comfortable doing my own thing and keeping to my own schedule.

It's unnerving to be thrown off that timetable and scrambling to get the energy to fit all that in before the day ends and I feel miserable because it's been unproductive.

It is a nice feeling to unwind and be outdoors, shaking up my routine but I don't need it that often, just once in a while.

The same as phonecalls or chats. It's nice to share details occasionally but if it's too often, it turns out to be a burden and chore, instead of something pleasurable and meaningful.