#BlogLife261 - Pardon?

How many of you have people in your lives that really listen and pay attention to how you feel? That ask the question and hear you when you answer them?

How are you?

That don't just say uh huh.....Hmmm.....Yea yea. Huh? Pardon? I didn't quite catch that?!

Sometimes it can even feel like there is nothing to talk about. You've been dismissed so much that the words falter, they just fade away.

I felt like that for a long time, keeping thoughts and people at bay and even though I have this blog, I still do it.

I could easily flip to being a member instead of a pseudo counsellor but my standards are too high. It's too important that I don't get an imposter.

I don't want someone going through the motions, saying MmmHmm....... I want someone that sees that I'm hurting and takes the time to be there for me.

I started expressing myself in my cute lil pocket diaries but even then I came to realise I had not even scratched the surface of my stuff that I had cremated inside of me.

It was only through fiction and blogging that a lot of realisations came up. I couldn't even grasp how badly I felt and the real reasons behind it.

The sad thing is I kept ignoring it because I didn't feel worthy of even claiming these heartaches. I didn't see myself as important.

I had to do a lot of maturing and when I left home, so many things changed and even then there was a mental block.

I had the tools but it was still as though the door was locked, preventing me from exploring it.

I urge you to practice some medium of expression from now because it will take time to open up.

Whether you begin in an online/offline diary, blog, vlog, social media or through people.

Being exposed like that is petrifying. If it's with people, you have to build up trust and if it is by the other standards you need to overcome that lack of confidence you feel.

I still wasn't sure of what reaction I would receive when I started but I braced myself for negativity, that to me helped.

I know it sounds strange but to me, I was trying to prepare myself just in case there were trolls or mean people replying back to me.

It's better than assuming you'll never get a hateful comment and then being blind-sighted when someone calls you out, right or wrong without consideration.

Have your safety measures in place. I'm just sharing what worked for me.

It might not seem like it straight away but it really helps. You'll hopefully deduce things, you never could before and everything will stop being so overwhelming.

Good luck :)