My book is taking shape

My book project can be difficult at times to get enthusiastic about because every time I seem to write, I keep doubting my abilities and thinking that it is all crap which is not helping my self esteem one bit. 

I know that I have the basics down, I love my characters, plot and there is no shortage of ideas, in fact I am overwhelmed sometimes but still I find myself thinking that it is just not good enough.

It got so bad at one point that I was almost tempted to give up, but I was away for a while and talked things over with a few people and they told me what I already knew deep, deep deep down but needed to hear nonetheless.

Which was that I have raw talent (the rawest) and that I was being too hard on myself and shouldn't get discouraged but instead push through the negativity.

My faith in my abilities started slowly returning. First I began doodling some cover designs for my book.

I really am not the best sketcher so these were basic at best but the ideas were there and some pride I guess because even though I have limited capabilities in some aspects, I was still getting stuck in and at least trying.

I had a rough idea of what I wanted but could not seem to draw the idea in my head, just a simplified version and then strangely enough I was googling for inspiration and I saw something that fit my ideal. 

I don't know if I will keep it permanently because although some bits fit, it wasn't 100% accurate in what I was trying to portray.

I still spent some time and tinkered with it, eventually getting the book title and my wattpad name to fit in the image as well as finally polishing my first chapter so that I was finally happy with and finishing off the chapter I was working on.

14 chapters have been published so far on the site and I know there is still a long way to go and I am still very much the amateur writer but I have made really significant progress from when I started and for me that's impressive as I tend to leave things unfinished.

I'm proud of myself.