No tears left

It has just been a hellish day with numerous things going wrong. From no sleep to bruising my foot and then having a woman on the bus further aggravate it with her trolley, to generally running late and starting my period. 

I had a meeting today which was so badly organised and I was looking at the signposts but for some reason my lenses were all fogged up so I couldn't even read them and my eyedrops did absolutely nothing to help me focus.

I was on my feet for a few hours and I could feel them just wanting to collapse. My toe was throbbing and I was just limping about wanting to scream. 

Today was not a good day and tomorrow I am supposed to meet my mother to visit her for a while, only I don't think my feet and legs are up for it. 

Yet again something has collided with this long postponed trip but I am just going to use a cab service or pay a friend of a friend some cash to pick me up and drive me over there as I am in no fit state to walk anywhere and cancelling is not a viable option because at this point I will never get to see her.

I just want the unpleasantness over and to enjoy seeing her and catching up on all the events I missed. It's bad enough I'm going to be suffering with cramps soon but dealing with all this crap is just getting on top of me. 

I could feel the tears wanting to come out from the back of my eyes but for once they didn't. This time I just maintained my composure.

I think all this venting it out and releasing my feelings is really helping me to grow stronger and more invincible. 

It might seem that I complain a lot or seem frequently unhappy but it is only due to days like this when I am reminded I struggle with pain management and generally doing activities that others find a breeze.

I find what also helps is going awol when I'm away from home. Switching my phone off or just not replying to people until I return. 

I need me-time now and to recharge my batteries and that will help me just as the venting in a blog does.