#BlogLife50 - The cringe factor

Ugh I heard myself doing it again tonight. How do I stop it? I was asked to keep in touch, if I was happy to do so but I assumed it was an obligation.

I do not want to be that for someone. How do you know if it is genuine or if it is just someone being polite? I actually accepted the offer because frankly the interactions are light hearted and make me laugh.

I don't often find someone approachable and though this is, as usual, not romantic/flirty etc or any of that nonsense. It is enjoyable and a way that makes my day bearable.

Especially after hearing some of these conversations. That I cannot discuss with anyone. I rambled another cringy reply to him. 

I was seriously going to paste what I said but I can't lol. It is so soooo bad. He just sent me a reply and it just went from lighthearted to deep. Eek :D

I made a lame joke and he thought I was questioning his motives? Actually I was just being my usual goofball self :D I clarified that just now and something else.

It's weird that someone I thought that was neutral appeared to be in flirt mode-ish. I let my guard down unnaturally and then I realised the truth and it went back up.

I have been avoiding him ever since. He failed the test and answer. I have these factors I look out for to see if someone is caring/honest/reliable.

I am sick of investing in the wrong people. The new person seems genuine but I remain on high alert for any changes. I let something slip today.

Time will tell if it was a mistake. I disclosed that I never feel heard and that I can manage to be there for others easily but no longer expect the same in return.

Also I said that I made the assumption I was being an imposition because I am not used to being supported and so it obviously must be an inconvenience.

He said he was joking but there are kernels of truth imbedded inside the response. However he addressed everything I said. Which I guess was the test I was looking for!

I just got my answer. He said he just enjoys listening to people so I will just take that and accept it.

He is the opposite to me. I am caring on a clock, once the time is up.. I'm sorry I don't give a damn. I have my own stuff to contend with.

I kinda wanted to ask him, if he ever feels like saying....

"Why are you asking/whining to me? I got better priorities. Leave me alone. Shish. I can't even enjoy a cupcake in piece!" :D