#BlogLife61 - The nightmare that never ends

How are you doing today BlogFamily? It's strange how a lil innocent question can make you stop and think. Somebody checked up on me today and I can't say I'm not doing so good.

I just say I feel mixed. I am very stressed and on edge and that always without fail will manifest itself into my dreams. I felt drained so I napped and promptly woke up terrified.

I dreamt that I was falling without a safety net, harness or anything. It was just air all around me and nothingness. I did manage to fall back asleep but this feeling of anxiousness remains.

There is a person that I migrated away from but recently he offered some support so I always feel obligated to resume a very uneasy conversation.

It is so unnerving to constantly be on high alert because this person without meaning to, continually invades my boundaries. 

Today I found out he discovered something about me which I had not shared. I feel like he is pushing me to define myself. Like he needs to know personal information about me.

I have no idea how to say.... Back off please and just stop analysing me or assuming stuff about me. I really hate it and I feel I need another safe space.

I have just been avoiding him and I switched off notifications because I guess it is a normal thing to get to know one another.

But I feel like he should take the hints that I offer up and just realise he is overstepping. I guess normal people don't think twice about it.

They just say, yea ask me anything. I'll tell you this, that and the other but I see as the more I divulge, the more ammunition you have to use against me.

If I choose to tell you something, that is fine because I have thought about it previously and am comfortable with it but if you investigate me and find out things that I do not want you to know, now or ever.

Then I am weirded out by you and will probably create distance between us. I'm tired but I keep seeing horrifying images. 

Despite all the issues, I was really enjoying supporting people and to have this sudden down time is disheartening. I can just about respond to the regulars who message me.

I dare not accept a request for a live chat because of the frequent crashes. I am beginning to think they will never rectify it as it isn't profitable, just a money pit that flukily assists people.

I would love to be proved incorrect.