#BlogLife234 - Cleaner guilt trip

I was going to do a deep clean of my place. I was only doing small bits here and there but the pain is so bad, I can barely stay upright.

I should clean as I go. I tell myself to do it and think, later, later, later. Then that time never comes.

After delaying and putting it off. I'm just going to do what I can and hire a cleaner again to do the rest of it.

I don't know why I find the floors the hardest. All of it is crippling but the floors just seem to take more exertion and I'm fighting nausea again.

Before I can change my mind. I'm going to get one for tomorrow and get it over and done with.

There are just so many questions to ask, do they take Paypal? Do they bring their own equipment? I have supplies but it never feels like it's enough.

What if they don't show up? I've had cleaners flake out on me and it's scary to think about paying upfront with a potential no show.

I think the other times, I paid cash afterwards which was fine, at least I knew they would have to turn up to be paid. I guess with Paypal I'm covered.

I also prefer if I can communicate with them in English as I have to explain instructions and how the steam mop works. I don't want to leave it on to ruin the wooden floors.

I just ask for the same thing, all the floors mopped and the whole of the bathroom. I just never know whether to include my room.

That's where I'm usually holed up, where do I go? I never feel comfortable leaving them alone in the house. I don't have many things to pilfer but what I own is special to me.

I should be able to do this and I'm beating myself up that I can't. I should just book one twice, or once a year just for peace of mind, without the guilt.

A lot of people do it. I just feel like a bad person, a less than person for not doing it.

It's all booked for tomorrow. There wasn't a deal as such and it's pricier than I paid before but I know I'll feel better afterwards.

This is the one thing that is worth paying for because it stresses me out and I still procrastinate. There will be 2 cleaners but I hope 1 doesn't stay chatting on the phone, bossing the other one around like last time.

Hmm well as usual that was a bust. The first set of cleaners said they didn't have the right equipment and before I could mention I had a steam cleaner, they vamoosed.

They had the cheek to charge me for parking, even though they were here less than 5 mins. The supermarket guys never charge.

Not a happy bunny at £30 but I will get a refund for the rest. I decided to try elsewhere and it's a bit odd when there's no phone number but an online booking system.

Seems pretty standard as I was shopping around for quotes. They wanted to charge extra but I found a replacement and he is just one guy and managed to make good use of the time and make everything sparkling.

Pricey but I don't feel so cluttered and messy now. He takes pride in his work, I can see the difference between him and others.

I will give him a glowing review but the surcharge for bringing his own supplies when he didn't, needs to be refunded asap. I'm so sleepy.

The crazy thing is I just couldn't eat today. It's the uncertainty of having strangers invade my home, not knowing if they'll be judgemental.

Plus it's a safety thing. I just feel wary but it helps me. This thing that I struggle with, that someone can take off my plate is a blessing.

I don't ask for assistance at all. This is a nice treat for myself. I guess that is a better way to look at it, than feeling inadequate that I can barely move around, let alone, be neat and tidy.

Oh you know what the weird thing was? Ha I got so much asmr from the brushing/scrubbing sounds. It was bliss.... Love that sound.

It was all going swimmingly..........Until disaster struck. All of sudden I kept hearing constant water flow and the time was up. He tells me, he is done and everything to his credit, is clean and dry.

Then he brings me to the bathroom and says, it's a typical standard thing. Happens to a lot of people. No big deal. Your toilet won't flush and runs not overflowing but you can hear the sound.

To flush it now, I have to go into the top part, take off that lid thingy and pull this thingybobby and that does it.

Ugh so close to alleviating my stress and that's the other thing that kills me. He spent half an hour overtime, trying to fix it. (For a so-called lightweight issue).

He was nearly half an hour late and for that price, should have been early or at least punctual. 

Lastly I wanted my bedroom tidied also but the time was late and it was a male cleaner. It just felt too awkward.

I won't be using the service again. I want better results and 100% satisfaction. I shouldn't be facing hassles on a routine assignment.

I'm trying to stay relaxed and pain-free, both emotionally and physically.

I do feel a lil better that my place is once again spotless. All that is left to do now is change my sheets and duvet, mop my bedroom floor and de-clutter a tiny bit more.

Oh and get a plumber and write customer services and tell them why I won't be using their overpriced company any longer!!