#BlogLife235 - How do I process these feelings?

It's not a good day. I was chilly so I put my jacket on and even layered up. I was going to dress light and fluffy, in the new wrap purple top but it seemed too flimsy.

I was sicky all morning but when I put the mini fan on, I felt a chill. I even thought I heard the pitter patter of raindrops outside.

There was a slight breeze and then it got really warm and with the mask on, it felt suffocating. I don't know if it's still mandatory to wear or not so I'll keep using it.

Then I kept missing appointments. I just don't feel up to it. My stomach won't settle and I want to reschedule. I just don't know the number.

That is piling on the guilt as I just want some peace, to feel like crap, away from everyone, hassling me.

Now the cherry on the cake is. I heard back from the cleaning company which I'll now name because the customer service is shoddy.

Emop and instead of an apology, discount and some kind words, like I used, there was angry, defensive feedback.

If indeed the flush mechanism had been that flimsy, why has it lasted over 10 years without breaking???

I just wanted him to say, sorry I am at fault. It was a long, tough job but I should have been more careful.

Instead I'm left with this weirdness inside me. As I should have taken better care with my place and deep cleaned it myself.

At least I take comfort in saying that, although he broke my toilet, he did a thorough job and was personable.

I wouldn't trash someone just because of one thing but I am angry that he broke something, that was working perfectly without any issues and instead of accepting blame, he totally bypassed the guilt and shrugs it off.

I am left to get it repaired and deal with the fallout of, how big a job is it?

I guess I just feel a bit exploited. That I spoke up and expected a more respectful answer. That I would be heard and validated and treated better.

I could give a mean rating but that just seems petty and he did do the job required, that's the annoying thing. I want to rage but I can't.

I will just leave it unsettled. I really don't see the point in pursuing it as they don't seem interested in refunding the lack of equipment charge or dealing with my unhappiness due to the damage.

It helps to let it out and I'm starting to feel better about it. Live and learn.

Ahh almost forgot to mention. A new beauty place opened up but they only do threading brows which I hate, will check out the facial treatments though, sounds nice and it's in a convenient location also.

I got a purifying Himalaya Neem face mask for oily skin for £2.80 to try out and a Himalaya saffron mint face wash, not sure of the price.

I'll let you know when I sample them and how they turn out. I feel better, nausea has subsided and I managed to change my bed without vomiting.

I can't do the floors though. I'll probably get yet another cleaner for them as I am wiped out. There's nothing left in me.

My duvet is all lumpy and uneven and I don't have the patience to fix it.

The really nice thing is, I postponed the appointment and the woman I spoke to, was actually really sweet and understanding, she said possibly Thursday but not to worry about it.

I also called up about the toilet and have to wait back for an appointment so there's nothing left to do but eat, except I don't want to do that.

I may just skip it. I'm not getting into bad habits, the stress, pain, nausea and tiredness is just getting to me.

Tomorrow or next week, I'll shake out of it but for today, I shall now unwind and game and watch ER or Whose Line reruns.

One good attitude, cancels out one negative :)