I laid down to see if I could get a better angle. Finally I just set up the laptop light, placed the mirror and managed it that way.
But a memory came to me. Do you enhance your pictures and edit them? Do you feel comfortable showcasing your natural self...Unfiltered?
It's scary but I did just that quite a long while ago. It wasn't the first image I showed him of me but it was probably the last.
He was too frightened to send me his snapshot but I wasn't in the end.
The last one was me in a downcast mood. I didn't fake my feelings. I don't think I wore makeup. I just went for the whole reveal.
It was a bad likeness of me but for some reason I loved it. I think I realise now, it's because I wasn't hiding, I wasn't presenting my best self.
This was a test to see what he really thought of the unearthed me. Way before he eventually showed me himself, his personality was beginning to rise to the surface.
Insecure, angry, spiteful and mean. Not at all the "good" guy he tried to hard to portray.
I think I was even sleeveless in that photo. He rang me and practically screeched in response.
Why would you send me this? You look ill. Are you okay? I really don't like it. You don't look like you. It's really bad. You look bad.
I remember laughing and a genuine smile spread across my face. He couldn't see past this bad picture but I could.
I knew there was more to me, than just this imperfect display. I hide myself away, not because I'm ashamed.
Everything I do and say is on my terms, not yours. There is a freedom that you can't steal away from me.
Don't analyse me, the shadows are my friends.
I cut my hair short again, just above my shoulders and tomorrow I'll put curlers in, put makeup on, put an outfit on and shine.
You may not be able to see me, but I can see you.
A story is plaguing me finally.
Now I'm ready to work on the tales.
0 comments:
Post a Comment
Something on your mind? I am all ears, I mean eyes and l will get back to you inbetween rants :D