The cheating scent

I was a naive teenager at the time and he was an older man. (Guys my age didn't look twice at me).

We weren't exactly dating or friends but newly acquainted. My looks had come in, shape was beginning to form evenly but I still didn't think much of myself. 

I settled and thought that we were on our way to something meaningful until he called up one day.

"How are you doing?" He asked I replied I'm beautiful not because I felt it. 

I was just sick of being down on myself, others noticing and exploiting it and actually I was in a good mood that day. 

"Do me a favour, next time you come around wash that perfume off first or better yet, don't wear it. 

I got into so much trouble with my girlfriend!

The word just seemed to ring in my ears momentarily. The way he had said it so casually. 

I quickly composed myself (because they all seem to want to provoke me for a reaction, as if they're God's gift to womankind). Pfft. 

Equally lightly replying that actually I couldn't swing by after all. After that I just made an excuse and hung up. 

He called a few times after that but I dismissed them. At least he wasn't as bad as the verbal assaulter. 

You know those guys that ask or find out your precious vulnerabilities, promise to cherish you and then in the same breath tell you they're embarrassed to be seen with you. 

Or that you're unattractive and don't have a good figure. Then as much as you don't want to believe his cruel devastating words. 

A voice in your head pops up and says "What if he's right? What if the worst characteristics that I think about myself are true?" 

I partially argued back but my heart wasn't in it. I was already letting his words wash over me. 

His voice suddenly softened and without apologising or recounting his insidious taunts he said "Come on over. 

We'll kiss and makeup and more if you're lucky."

As damaged and as lost I felt. I knew deep down I was an OK person. 

I always adamantly refused to see him after those fights but I'll never forget our last conversation. 

"You know what? I have something to tell you that will really hurt you." Nonplussed I replied for him to continue. 

"It's your fault. You refused to come over so I invited my ex and she spent the night."

In the softest sweetest voice possible, I said "Good." He was so taken aback and confused. 

I followed up with. "I'm so happy for you both and it's great news."

He was reeling from shock and could only splutter out "But But But. What about you? What about us?" 

I smiled barely containing my mirth and stated. "I'm going to be just fine. There is no us. Goodbye." 

Unfortunately this is all too true but one thing I knew for sure? He was lying. 

He was alone but he wanted to stick the knife in and twist it. Sadly for him, I realised my self worth. 

Six months later he called to say "You know, if we had carried on dating. 

I would have proposed and made you my wife." I physically shuddered at the thought, cut him off and blocked his number. 

I finally figured out because he didn't like himself and knew I was out of his league. 

He just had to break my spirit and then I would be easy to manipulate. 

Moral of the story? If you're spiteful enough to burn someone, better check who is holding the matches first!