#BlogLife502 - I feel respected today

I didn't get much sleep last night but I did have a glorious nap in between deliveries so that was nice.

Pretty much everything has arrived now, except for one more lippy. (That came yesterday actually).

When I say lippy, I mean the glosses, as I have never found a lipstick shade that I actually liked and that suited my skin colour.

I still find it difficult to find darker shades for non caucasian skin tones.

It always looks way better on the paler models and then typically when I receive it, I find it hideous.

Some women can pull it off, wearing brighter shades and all power to them as it looks classy but for me personally....

It doesn't look good, except for certain pinks and beiges but with the reddy, plummy, purply colours.....

Eeek there is a fine line between suitable and disgusting. I've known the regular Postie for quite a while.

Maybe I've explained that as much as I try to hustle to get to the door as some used to leave really quickly.

I always ended up banging my knee/foot/leg and hobbling painfully to the door.

Because he surprised me today and apologised for being over exuberant with the doorbell.

And that's actually the first time it seems like he's remembered what I've told him.

That I am a sick person so it does take a while to get up and get to the door but I do profusely thank him as always and wish him well.

I think it was just strange but really nice to hear that someone was taking my health condition seriously.

And it's doubly worse because it's not noticeable, I don't have crutches or a wheelchair anymore but the damage is still there and continues worsening.

Even when I'm trying to explain my ailments, I get a lot of blank stares and disbelief which is quite hurtful.

I feel like I'm being called a liar, without them actually saying it. It's quite sad to constantly experience that.

To feel as though I have to prove it to be believed by 99% of people. It stresses me out.

If someone was saying the same thing to me, I wouldn't immediately question it, unless they were fake, I would sympathise.

When I was a lil girl, I had a lil bob and a fringe and I think it looked fine but from pre-teen onwards, the idea of having short hair was out of the question.

I had this idea that it was going to look masculine lol. I think that's why I avoided it for so long.

Women around me had cropped stylish do's but anytime I tried it, with the so-called professional hairdressers, they butchered it so badly.

I don't know why it took so long to start doing my own hair, possibly because I loved the shampooing scalp massages too much.

Or maybe I thought this time will be different, it will look wonderful.

The £2.15 NYX lippy in the Dark Magic shade is actually dark. I'm so thrilled. I adore it.

It was a pain in the butt to open, felt like it was superglued together because it took me an hour to use it.

It's not that moisturising and I probably needs about 2 or 3 coats because not a lot seems to come out and it's not thick but not watery either.

I would definitely repurchase it as it is the darkest colour to date. I wore it today and it looks fabulous.

Almost black but not quite. It just needed a shiny thick clear gloss on top and it's perfect.

Plus it was quite cheap, normally they are double that price. The shampoo and face mask might wait to use those.

I will just say that the Black and Red Argan £4.48 face mask smells like vimto/ribena and that cracked me up :D

Never in my life have I tried a mask that smells of sweet berries but that was the initial assessment, might be different when it's applied.

Hmm it's going to be difficult to wait until other products are finished before I try them....

Oh the pink and blue top for £12.50 each, arrived as well. Hmm they fit way looser than the X tops, which is great.

I don't know if I like the colours, the quality for all of them is high and I will always wear something long sleeved underneath now.

I don't really show off any bare skin, except neck, hands and that is about it.

I don't want masses of attention. I like to feel safe when I'm outdoors and I might say hello back if I'm greeted but I rarely hang around past that.

I still feel that nervousness of being insulted or grabbed but I also want to feel a lil different to the normal styles I see and cute in my choice of garments.

I just applied the thick mud mask to my face, it's a lil tougher than I thought it would be.

It still smells of berries. I'm supposed to leave it to dry for 15minutes so I'll see after that.

My skin feels oily and bumpy at the moment. Will this make a difference?

It's not preventing pimples, I still feel them budding on my face. It does take away the oiliness and leaves it as though I have applied a toner.

In the morning my face still felt fresh and smooth. The fragrance isn't bad, I just find it unusual.

I think my issue is that it's already started off tough, over time it's going to get really hard and I might end up binning it, which is a waste of money.

I haven't used the new lippy yet. I put images up on twitter but I feel really sick today so I don't want to use it yet.

I will say though, that it actually smells of plums. Normally I don't find they are scented at all but it's cute and different.

It's the Boots brand CYO in Out Loud, dark purple for £2.94. I feel lousy but I look fantastic in the new get up.

I'm pleased I bought them all and I got a bunch of snacks from my favourite Market too.

Dried plums, unsalted cashews, puffy crisps, unsalted hazelnuts and those Gullon chocolate oat biccys.

I have zero appetite!! If I can manage it this will be the 2nd week without a period.

Woohooooo!!! Nausea? Yes. Cramps? Yes. Bloating? Yes. Period? No!!