#BlogLife66 - How do accolades make you truly feel?

I mean I am sure I have gotten them before but today somehow it was different, as though it was the first time someone stood up and acknowledged me.

They said something along the lines of.... 

"You do realise what good work you are doing right?"

I don't know why that struck me so hard. I half smiled and half thought huh so that is what is bugging me. Most of the time I don't feel appreciated.

I hear the words Thank you but it is as though it is being said automatically without the sentiment behind it.

I am not referring to the people I am supporting or the organisation that hired me, they are sincerely grateful and I take that on board.

I am referring to friends/family who expect me to drop everything when I'm occupied. My time and energy is redirected elsewhere and yet I stop and assist them.

I did have good friends and people that were there but I still never felt really heard. It was although a timer was counting down.

"Come on, come on.. 

I can only spare a few seconds.. 

Sorry what did you say? 

I didn't get that. 

I'm kinda busy with...

Sorry I have to dash......."

My favourite line was always.... "I promise, we'll catch up soon." It never did quite arrive and I can only chase a friendship for so long before I wonder what the hell am I trying to keep it alive for?

It's clearly dead. I am not sure if I will do it but I am thinking of taking a blog break. Maybe a week of no writing. I don't know if I will still post BookLife. 

I have posts saved and written but I am just not in the mood to be here. I feel dissatisfied once again. I could start again. Delete this blog and reinvent myself.

Delete the Facebook and Twitter profiles I set up also. Completely disappear. That is quite tempting. I am not looking for pity or attention.

I am just airing my thoughts and there is a lot of unrest in my head.

Goodbye for now.

SS

**1/6 Update**

I thought I would just take time out and take a breath, do some beauty treatments and have time for myself without worrying about the books or the blog.

Also entertaining you lot. I'm still fond of you but having this moment to myself was exhilarating. I didn't realise how stressed and agitated I had become.

I definitely needed this and there is a whole load of posts waiting to be published that you will receive each day. 

I hope you've been well and enjoying some fabulous sunshine and warmth or out discovering new blogs or reading some of my old posts, you've never noticed before..

I can't find a template that represents me, all of me. I have settled on this one for now as it uses non caucasian models and uses a musical/dancing theme.

Plus the purple colour is cute and everything lays out without me having to tinker with it. I suppose I want an angry/vulnerable woman, not girl.

Non white, that loves music and being creative, with splashes of bright colours, who isn't a party animal but is more of a solo artist.

Now is that too much to ask?? :D Evidently it is!

Thank you to those that were curious and checked out Faithless Pursuit. I appreciate it but the reads tapered off so I won't be publishing anymore.

It's still on Wattpad so if you want to continue on, there is where you will find it. As for the complete removal of the commentaries you'll have to check out the next blog, or the one after that, to discover why.....