#BlogLife77 - Being on the other side

I'm sure I mentioned that I have used the Supporter chat as a member to see what it would be like to have someone there for me as a change.

I only used it twice and it was a mixed experience. The first one it was more curiosity to see how it all unfolded and how other people approached it.

It was nice and I felt less nervous and more included as part of the group. I then just stepped up my introduction and was set.

The second one was not so good. I don't quite recall the reason but I was feeling rough, alone, upset and vulnerable.

I said that I wanted to vent out my frustrations and the person agreed and I did but it was as though the person went off to do something else.

There was pure silence, no words of.. Uh huh, I hear you, I'm listening, nothing at the other end so instead of feeling better and comforted, it highlighted to me once more, how alone I am in the world.

I could have done without feeling worse about myself. It put me off to be honest and I broke down, did what I usually do to make myself feel better and retreated from everyone and everything.

I know that there are good people doing this role and that they help but I am not looking to be fixed, just as usual, heard. That's it, that was the only thing I needed.

Just a tiny bit of comfort in my emotionally/physically taxing world that is almost too much to bear at times.

But no matter because I know I am the best person to take care of me as I have been doing it all of my life.

For everything else there is my randoms/acquaintances/dollfaces :D