#BlogLife273 - Wake up or you're dead!

It's been a bad, bad day and it's only just gone 1pmish. You might think the title is extreme but that's pretty much the extent of my horror dreams, being chased, someone trying to kill me, or watching others being slaughtered.

The nausea was kicking my ass today but I persevered and did my hair and makeup. Actually I did something different, pulled the hair down and swept it to one side and it looked much better.

It's probably still flat and the greys are still winking at me but it also looks stylish and peppy. I clipped it back and it stayed in place.

There was lots of lil waves and curls and one tendril came loose but it appeared as though it was on purpose. 

Today could be a record I had about 4 or 5 panic attacks. There was a lot of triggers and I already felt dizzy and sickly and then I came home, I forgot to put the light on so the hallway was dark and I got turned around.

I literally didn't/couldn't see where the hell I was, where the doors were. It was petrifying. I slammed into a door because it's like I couldn't see, everything was dark and the light switch was hidden from me.

How messed up is that? I was so relieved to be home where it's safe and then I just lost my bearings. At least I had music to pick me up..

I would be a basket case if not for that. I fancied Pret but they are not taking deliveries so I settled for Greggs, which is pretty good actually.

I still feel like I can't catch my breath though. As I've said before, my nightmares mesh together from deep rooted stress.

That's why I try to be organised and do things one at a time, but sometimes the pain is too much and I quit for a bit so it becomes demanding.

I'm getting a couple of hours sleep at the moment. Mostly I lay awake, look around the room and listen to music or asmr. 

I try to clear my head but subjects float in and out. It's hard to close my eyes, knowing that I could be in danger and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

I just have to be in the moment and stay absolutely terrified. On a lighter note. I received the protein tablets I ordered for me and mama.

Also I discovered a hidden gem. Elizabeth Taylor makes sublime perfumes and I barely realised that they also do giftsets.

The lotions and shower gels are phenomenal nothing lacks the quality and now there are body mists that are a hell of a lot bigger than the perfumes and half price.

I just got mine and it's my favourite to date. Sparkling White. Oh my final highlight is a kaftan came back in stock.

It's not the exact same version but hopefully it's thick and warm, the last one lasted 5 years and all the others I've bought barely last a year so I don't mind investing in this.

It's a silky looking dark blue. The only thing I detest is that it has a zip. I'm not keen on those or buttons on a nightgown/kaftan type product and it digs into the skin but we'll see..

Yodel is bringing it, maybe this weekend or earlier...