#LetterLife5 - Dear Moi

Dear Moi,

Guilt is what plagues me. It just feels so wrong to stand up to you as a family member and say for this moment in time I need a break from you.

I wonder if you'll have the courage to ask Why?

I have been biting my tongue all my life to avoid answering that and hurting your feelings but I can't pretend I'm fine with how you treated me and continue to treat me, as though I'm unlovable.

Home was abusive, dating was abusive. I didn't start loving/respecting myself until I was an adult and still I question my self worth.

I'm making myself sicker not dealing with you and other responsibilities, so I will face it all next week.

The physical pain increases day by day and it's not exertion, it's just from routine things. My voice is cracking and disappearing.

I want to know why you glorify the abusers but yet in your eyes, I'm a disappointment, someone unworthy of your time, consideration and respect?

I trust no-one. I seek affection but run away from it. I continue to hide.. Where it's safe.