#BlogLife19 - Exhaustion

I hope you've all kept your promise and saved me some Easter choices.. I'm sorry I haven't published in a while. 

I just wasn't in the mood.

It hit me just now that I'm repeating the same mistakes as I made previously. 

Do you ever feel like you're making every effort to change but sometimes you get derailed and don't realise the patterns remain the same?

Ugh I managed to successfully tweak the appearance of the blog once more but of course it's still not right.

Who was I trying to kid? I'm not a techie or a coder. Granted I did exceptionally well to get this far but it never stops.

I loathe this part of blogging. The perfectionism.  I'm not even looking for that. I just need it to look good, to me and others.

Unfortunately this means getting a headache trawling through bland themes and trying to pretend I like one of them so I can quit this tedious task.

Actually I think I saved another one just in case. I haven't checked it out yet. Tomorrow or Monday I promise. 

For now I'm gonna play a game and then go to sleep. After looking at the theme and trying a few others. I still felt completely dissatisfied.

I finally settled on the current one I have installed. To me it's looks all round festiveness coupled with my sleepy female motif.

I did change a few things to make it clearer but the description, insists on staying faint, grr. I didn't have to mess with the alignment for once.

It's feminine and cute without being sickly sweet. I'll probably still look for something ideal but I'll stick with it for the time being, maybe.

I just want to get back to writing. Aside from this recent hiccup. I feel I am doing quite well maintaining the BlogLife posts and well as the book chapters.

I've composed three chapters for Lethal Curves Ahead, the second book and I'm on BlogLife19. It's not astounding but it is progress.

I am moving forward. I fancied something to munch on so I bought some starburst, formally opal fruits. Those are really good for when you're thirsty.

Q1) What is your favourite flavour? 

A) It's obvious. There is only one answer. It is strawberry of course.

B) You are wrong as usual. Everyone prefers the purple wrapper, whatever that is.

C) People please. Calm down, this is only starburst, we are talking about, besides which, how can you not love the green one? It packs the most flavour!!

Q2) Do you think laughing at yourself is wrong?

A) Yo. Quizmistress, care to explain that one? Who would want to laugh at themselves? That is just self mockery.

B) Of course it's wrong, we need to build our characters up and not reduce our self worth to that of our fears and flaws.

C) Oh I get what you are trying to say, badly. You mean should we lighten up every once in a while and poke a lil fun at our errors?

This is a prickly subject because I am one of those same people berating myself over my mistakes. I dwell on them sometimes and kick myself for even doing them in the first place.

However I am long way past the girl I used to be, which was incapable of being respectful to myself. I saw a lot of my faults and thought nothing of my successes.

Nowadays I just try to accept it, learn from it and even crack a joke about it. I find it helps me to let go and actually smile about it.

Everytime my brain turns cruel and whispers. Seriously. You are a fool. Why did you do that? I notice it and just turn it around.

I say alright. Yes I did make this decision, which happened to be the wrong one but I have already taken steps to correct it and now I know what to do differently.

It is fine. It isn't the end of the world. I will make a bad pick, or a careless response but I will always try to fix it. That is what life is all about. At least credit me with making an effort.

Again it probably sounds really silly or weird but it really just turns around my entire mood. It does take practice but once you are aware, you can use it to your advantage.

I'm going to start linking to either random posts or something to do with each BlogLife's topic. 

https://sleeplessscribbler.blogspot.com/2017/03/going-backwards-not-forwards.html