#BlogLife25 - Why are you so anti-social?

I heard this question from my parents quite often as I grew up. The other two made friends easily and just seemed to adapt to being surrounded by known and unknown people.

I didn't. I guess being told to hush for half my life, erased all my social etiquette. The few times I did speak, I made my voice as soft as possible.

I didn't even realise I did that. I didn't want to embarrass myself or my family so if people couldn't hear me all the better. I grew up being made to believe that I had nothing significant to offer.

I took it to heart. I people-pleased and resented it. I turned snarky and hated myself and then I became aware of who I was then and who I wanted to be in the future.

There was so much criticism at home that when outsiders did it. I couldn't handle it. I wondered what was wrong with me? Surely I must be doing something wrong to attract hate, right?

It was my looks? Or was it my voice? Or maybe my height? My weight? The way I acted? The fact that I was too sensitive?

I wasn't an intellectual? I mean why else would people continually zero in on my insecurities? Some people knew about them..

Others didn't and yet they said such mean things. Treated me with contempt. I had to be doing something to deserve it, right? 

I glanced around and I envied those so-called perfect people. They said the right things, at the right time, were surrounded by crowds fawning all over them, boosting their already inflated egos.

On the surface their smiles were bright. They were always happy and laughing but underneath, there was a lot of sighing and unrest.

I thought it was always a bad thing that I wasn't like everyone else but it turns out being different is fun. I get to explore my personality and voice something unique.

So what if it's not mainstream or popular? Who cares? I'm not saying I know better than you. I don't. I am saying I have the right to be heard, the same as you do.

My point is, when someone says you don't matter. They are lying and they are threatened by you. They see something in you that makes them nervous.

They also see traits in you, that appear within themselves and they cannot bear it. You don't need a million friends. You don't need to compete.

It helps to have someone around you who is trustworthy, honest and reliable. A person that will call you out when you're making the wrong choice.

Who will tell you straight, the real truth instead of the opinion you really really want to hear haha :D

I'm just relieved that I get to have the last laugh. I get complimented on my voice, my wit, my personality and my street-smarts.

I am important and you are too! Repeat after me....

I can out-quirk anyone!! :D 

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