#BlogLife893 - Sneaky brainwave

A very pleasing thought appeared in my head, UC says the course is online, I say it's offline, I should just apply.

Crap unless I'm going mad again, it did say online. I have a feeling there were 2, and one was offline and maybe this is online.

Actually this seems self paced and didn't mention webcams. I'm not doing the coding, sod that, I did see a customer service one, will apply for that instead.

That should keep the idiot happy, sorry not a fan of name calling but he really is, getting on my nerves.

Ooh that was strange, I just got a call/message from the landlord and I thought hmm, they finally texted to say they wanted me to call back regarding updating records.

I screen my calls because of randoms/scammers so I won't pick up, unless I am expecting a call.

I actually thought it was to do with the surveyor visit, but phew nope.

She asked me peculiar questions, I was half expecting her to ask my sexual orientation (straight) or ethnicity (censored)....  ha.

But maybe they aren't legally allowed to ask certain things? Who knows or cares?!

What was my religion? None, she asked if I was an atheist? Nope, just not religious.

Whether I had disabilities? Yes, she surprisingly didn't press me on what those were.

What languages I spoke? Just English and I think that was it. I never admit that I studied multiple languages because they blend into each other.

I'm terrible with confusing languages. I studied, German, Spanish, Italian, that was it, most were for maybe a year or under.

But German was I think 5 years, to start we had the greatest teacher but she left, and my enthusiasm for it depleted.

At first it was exotic and exciting. Ooh how cultural am I? Knowing another language, speaking it was a lil easier, when it came to writing, I got muddled.

My accent is probably poor but certain phrases like the greetings stuck in my head, hello, goodbye, hobbies, that's interesting, stuff like that and also the numbers.

There didn't seem to be an option during the landlord's questions to say, Mind your business or why are you asking or can I refuse to answer??!!

Again not a fan of personal questions or trying to be pigeon-holed into a neat lil bow.

But it was quick, as she promised.

I really do think that growing up as I did, being told daily that I was a dummy affected my learning and confidence in my abilities to my detriment.

I think I just assumed Why bother? You're too stupid to grasp it, studying is pointless.

So I didn't make the effort as I should have done. My self esteem continued plummeting.

And even now I worry I just won't understand it and I'm going to look foolish and everyone will laugh at my expense.

I shouldn't think like that but I do. Words are hard to shake off, especially when you've spent your entire life hearing them.

People are disappointed easily or expect you to be perfect or different to who you innately are, that's a lot to live up too, even if I did care, which I do not anymore.

I'm not sure why I was the poster child for everything wrong, but again I attribute it to being quiet so an easy target, full of misconceptions, Oh she's not talking because she's brainless.

No the reason I'm not talking is because I'm listening to you talk crap about me, to my face and I'm waiting for the day I can ditch you without an explanation.

Anyway now that I have a plan on what to do next, I feel better. Ooh that was quick, I got an update, the course says I'm not eligible, not the right area woop woop.

I can now tell him that and in my head say, Take that information and shove it!! :)