#BlogLife891 - Blah blah, Wait that changes things../ In trouble for being sick

As usual, back to my usual state of confusion. I just got a notice from UC, after them declaring nothing has changed, the payment stays the same.

All because I then said, by the way, the landlord said the rent increases now happen in October from now on, not April, as that's what they told me, suddenly it's whoa.....

Stop the presses, this changes everything. We've given you a surplus payment, and I thought ok, but why?

I've literally spelled out my expenses that you're not covering and you didn't give a damn, you said Go to a food bank, I'm not taking sustenance from those that need it.

That's a dumb unhelpful suggestion. I know how to budget, I've been doing it all my life, surrounded by irresponsible people, that I didn't want to grow up to emulate.

I've been without food before because I couldn't afford it, that's nothing new to me.

I'm desperately trying not to get to that extreme state, which is what these imbeciles don't seem to grasp.

Anyway I think this is a one off adjustment amount that will be sent to me.

I guess the point is, if it comes from the landlord, someone that gouges people for money, they'll take it under consideration.

If it's from a human being struggling, getting depressed about having no future which includes a roof over their head, they don't give a toss!!

I did not intend to write at all today but I had to voice this. Whatever!

Again I'm not looking forward to Monday's bullying UC meeting, he's turning into such an ass!

On to today (Monday), as I wrote the above last week. I hate confrontations, but I loathe being bullied more, though when it came down to it..

I swallowed my tongue and didn't object to his dictation.

Apply for the coding course, that I'm not remotely keen on and I didn't stand up and say If you're so interested You go for it!!

I just started to feel nauseated, so he warned me I could be sanctioned for failure to do as he asked.

Which means the payments get suspended. I have some options to think about.

He wants me to print out applications not sure how to do that, the form or the acknowledgement receipt email after submission?

Can you print out emails? Maybe I'll just screenshot the contents, save it to a draft and print them all just before the appointment, if I'm late, screw it, he gave me a bloody 9am slot again. They never open on time.

Ugh library visit prior then. I could apply to the coding course but not keen, he says they're online but the blurb says in person..

I just don't feel like arguing when I want to vomit. Why is he even making me print out responses, half of them don't even acknowledge you've applied anyway, let alone get back to you.

It's insulting, it's basically saying Hello liar, prove yourself to me. Fine dickhead, as you wish!

Another thing I could do, if it's still running was go back to volunteering, I don't feel emotionally stable for that but if it gets him off my back, I would do it.

There's too much on my plate, too much stress and stomach churning already.. I feel out of options though.

What else could I do? Have a higher number of entries in my journal.

Something else that ticked me off was him asking who I got rejected from, ahem it's on the freaking journal, what is the point filling it in, you don't check it, ass!!

I really hate that, it would two seconds to go through it, prior to seeing me, I'm your first meeting but no yack it up with your colleagues instead.

The only highlight of today was seeing the smiling happy delivery driver, when he delivered breakfast.

Oh wait, before that, popped into Tesco, didn't have time to look around so got a chicken caesar wrap and a sprite but then the assistant insisted I get a chocolate as it's cheaper as part of the meal deal, ugh I was so tired..

I got a twix and then realised afterwards, it's white chocolate yuckity.

So anyway when the guy greeted me by name and handed over the food, I just offered the twix and his whole face beamed back at me, he was so chuffed, he just thanked me for that tiny gesture.

I would have binned it but at least it didn't go to waste. It is nice to do something for others but crikey, I feel I can barely stand at present.

My tum is still flip-flopping, even after drinking and munching the fries.

Oh I am all out of eye drops, dang my eyes are so dry but I saw a great deal, 3 bottles for £5 and I snapped it up.

Hopefully they get here this week. Ugh I have to put away the food.

Oh ha, the cafe gave me a complimentary chilli cheese packet of crisps, not sure I'm brave enough to eat that, I declined the coke as I am not keen at all.