#BlogLife291 - The headfuckery of volunteering

Obviously I cannot go into any details for confidentiality reasons but this was another doozy.

I don't even know if the account they were telling me was fabrication or real but it was disturbing.

Just when you think you're prepared enough and have heard some horrific things, not that I'm arrogant anymore but still.

Then you listen to someone and a sense of foreboding washes over me and I convince myself, no no no, it's not going down that path but it does.

Still more details are pouring out and it is just getting increasingly worse and I think, okay it's changed directions, seems fine, pulled back.

Then SMACK, it starts again, adding and increasing the traumatising information.

I don't know what the hell to do. I'm trying to tread softly and navigate and I manage it but it just takes a turn and....I think nope. can't do it.

Have to politely end this because my head is fucked up!! I'm sorry, I apologise for the bad language but needs must.

I have to get it out of my system because the guides were busy to offload onto and I need to vent it out of my system as my face is burning red.

One did attempt support but in the worst possible way and I'm grateful but it frustrated me more.

Dr K was around but I just bad about always running to him, so I didn't bother. Let the man have some damn peace haha!!

Maybe it's a triggery thing and that's why I am taking it hard but no more volunteering for a bit for me.

That one, was too much!