#BlogLife295 - Start or middle of a relationship?

 What is your favourite part of a relationship? Is it the beginning, where it's all shiny and new and uncertain?

Finding out what you have in common and your similar distastes? Sharing cute lil stories and philosophies?

Finding out what they want out of life and if you fit in? Or is it the middle where you are finally established?

Everybody knows where they stand and you can just relax and be together. A pattern starts to form, calls and texts are routine.

A date night emerges. Things transpire from light and flirty to a lot more significant.

I've only ever had the starts, if that. The getting to know you stages and after a dozen first dates, it does get tiresome, not evolving on to the next level.

As fun as the beginning is.. Learning all those precious details.. I want to skip straight to the middle.

Coupledom. Somewhere I have heard of but never been. The tedious getting to know me probes have finally disappeared.

I feel less insecure and nervous that it's another timewaster. At least if it doesn't work out, I would have had some relationshipness.

Preparing meals together, snuggled on the sofa, having our favourite song, film or snacks in the background.

Going for gentle walks or going grocery shopping, holding hands or arm in arm together and occasionally stopping to kiss or whisper private in-jokes.

Having silly, insignificant fights about this or that and sheepishly making up and going back to the lovey dovey contentment.

I honestly don't know if I'll ever be a couple, whether I have the capacity to let someone in that much.

Whether I can even fall in love or trust someone fully ever again. I want that respect, I've never received.

I want the affection that has eluded me. I need the kindness and care that I don't feel from others.

I want to let go and have someone catch me, to know and believe with all my heart and soul, that they have my best interests in mind in their words, thoughts and actions,

Lastly I want someone that will look after me and make me their priority.

Now by that, I don't mean dropping everything and focusing solely on me and my needs, neglecting themselves/their others....

Ick, no. I mean that they consider the impact on my life, when making medium to big decisions.

That their first thought is to include me and divulge tidbits. That they treat me as though I am the most exquisite thing in the world to them.

They don't smother but check up on me. They don't force answers out of me but they softly coax me.

That they think about me sometimes and how they could make me smile or see me and have a fierce need to hold me close and cuddle up.

That's all. Does that make sense?!