A day of indulgence

I decided as I was out again early yesterday that I would take the opportunity to get a few things done so that for the rest of the week I could limit my actions. 

I picked up some soft fluffy high heeled slippers that are surprisingly comfortable to wear and have been keeping my cold feet lovely and toasty. 

Plus I had run out of bread so I had to try a few places to get it as the supermarket is too far away. 

I really don't know why shopkeepers have a nasty habit of saying they provide a certain service or have the product/ingredients in stock when someone makes an enquiry about them. 

I asked the outside assistant who directed me inside and then I asked the person behind the counter for wholemeal bread and instead of saying "I'm sorry we don't stock it." 

They both just lied to me and made me wander to the back of the bloody shop where it was nowhere to be located.

I could have made further comments but the pain was already setting in so I just thought you've lost my business and I will shop elsewhere so I popped into Percy Ingles where the bread smelt heavenly and I picked up a loaf. 

I was tempted to pick up a cake too but I resisted the urge and then came home and counted down the hours until bedtime where I could curl up and have an early night.

On Monday I met my mum in the morning and picked up a pan and brush set that I have had on my shopping list for ages. 

My mind just tends to go blank and I forget what I need for the home but it was such a beautiful deep rich plum shade and I thought it would give me a boost everytime I used it. 

I also redeemed two winning scratchcards that I had won from with the combined abundant sum of £12 which is not much but did mostly cover the cost of lunch give or take a few pounds.

We decided to take up our tradition of getting joint pedicures together and although the salon was full they fit us in and I finally got my caterpillar eyebrows sorted out. 

They were so overdue and then I just used an eyebrow pencil to sneakily fill them in a little as they looked a bit sparse. 

I prefer them on the thinner side as I'm used to it but it is more difficult to get them even and I will have them done again just before I go away for Christmas.

The pedicure was definitely the best one I have had to date. The beauty therapist was lovely and I was giggling away because the soles of my feet are ticklish. 

The massage chair soothed away all the aches which removed the stress and I could just lounge and be looked after. 

The leg massage was also deeply relaxing and I had forgotten how pleasurable the whole experience was. 

We always promise ourselves we will get it done regularly but it never happens. Either money is short, plans get in the way or the weather scuppers our getting together.

Afterwards we headed into town and settled on our favourite local cafe. The food is always tasty, the service is friendly and the price is affordable which ticks all our boxes. 

We split some fries as it was now lunchtime and I leisurely sipped some apple juice when the only disaster of the day struck. 

My right contact lens started feeling really unbearable and causing me pain I'm guessing due to my makeup, some grit or an eyelash irritating it. 

My eyes just kept watering and the drops didn't help so in the end I had to remove it which is a little daunting because it could easily bounce and roll on the floor.

I was careful and after rinsing it with the drops, I was able to reinsert it and then it felt a lot better.

We talked some more, shared goodies which seems to be another tradition. We pick things up for each other and swap them. 

This time I bought a lovely warm bobble hat for her (which turned out to have an odd feature, a mesh outline that was oblivious to me but she's having her friend alter it). 

I had some spare protein tablets for her lenses and she gave me some dessert that I don't have that often as it is only made during the holidays. 

It was just what I needed after being stressed and although my body was sore and stiff afterwards, I have actually been sleeping well enough so that I feel rejuvenated.

Changes afoot

A few things recently happened and will possibly result in a big change and I don't know how to feel about it. 

When I was growing up I found very few people were reliable and gave me the time I needed to air out my grievances and feelings.

I learnt from young to be independant and not ask for help because I was let down so frequently that I felt I needed to be even stronger and self sufficient.

I still find it really difficult to admit I am not superhuman and struggle with tasks that should be straightforward but with my limitations they are not. My biggest struggle was cleaning. 

After a few minutes the pain would set in and I could not continue so had to leave it for another day. I finally decided to hire a cleaner to get my place refreshed and spotless while at the same time getting rid of unneeded clutter.

It was not straightforward at all with the first cleaner I hired not showing up and avoiding my calls when I enquired about the absence of her staff. 

The next company I went with were a little better but did not heed my request for a deep clean so she had only the basics and relied on my equipment which was disappointing but she did do a fair job in between taking calls and not following my instructions. 

The whole ordeal was supposed to be a treat for myself but it was quite stressful however in the future a friend of a friend has offered their services so I would rather pay her than random companies that have poor customer service.

I recently had a checkup at an eye hospital and although hospitals will never be my favourite place. It is so much more knowledgeable than when I was attending a high street optometrist. 

They answer all of my queries and have given me some very useful tips for my contact lenses. 

The journey there was a nightmare. I got panicky, nauseated and dizzy, when I left the car I was so unsteady on my feet and then burst into tears. 

It didn't help the driver was road raging either.

The only positive was that for my high susceptible prescription my eyes are in good condition with no added issues developing. 

I remember even from school, somebody would come around, pull me out of class and ask me how I was doing and if I was experiencing any visual difficulties but it was only in secondary school that I had the hardest time with teachers and their joined up writing. 

I squinted so much and then in the end had to resort to copying my friend's notes.

If I really think about it and cut myself a break I know that these changes should they happen will ultimately be beneficial for me. 

It will take away a lot of stress and anxiety from my life and I will still be able to retain my independence but with some additional support should I need it. 

I am slowly learning to accept that just because I am reaching out, it doesn't mean that I am a lesser person. 

It just means that I can see that there is no need to struggle to do every little thing myself when I can reach out and get some assistance on anything that is too much for me to deal with.