Shopoholics dream

I was excitedly called up and told to check this website out that had just arrived in their inbox or spam folder. 

I can't recall which as it seemed too good to be true and I normally route out independant reviews and check it out thoroughly before deciding yay or nay. 

It seemed like an Ebay/Amazon rival with a multitude of international sellers under one site but with the exception of offering free delivery. 

(I think the free delivery has stopped now but I get email offers).

I am always weary about any tax associated with purchasing overseas but I have done it a few times and aside from it being holed up in customs for about a fortnight. 

I've not experienced having to fork out additional payments. I have done some reading and I think it depends on the price and weight but I'm not entirely sure and the things I have bought are very low key and reasonable so I am probably skating under the radar.

Every time I check out the website it seems to have a flash sale so I think it's a marketing ploy and a very good one for new customers. 

However the prices are already such a bargain that you can scoop up quite a few items for under ten pounds. 

My list consisted of sunglasses, essential oils, lip glosses, lip oils all for under £2 each. 

It seems to sell a little of everything with clothes, beauty, footwear and bags all listed. 

The best part is that they accept Paypal so you are completely covered so that if anything untoward happens I assume you'll be refunded.

I was saving the best for last. The website is called Vova.com. I don't have any ties with them apart from using it to grab some deals and receiving part of my order early. 

They predict a fortnight but it came in half the time. Plus you can track it on the website too. 

I'm impressed with the quality but as always, do compare prices and get the best offer. If anyone already uses it or has checked it out, let me know what you think?

Are men taught how to be creepy?

No, seriously. This is a legitimate question! I actually had a pleasant day aside from leaving my cosy bed to get ready to meet my mum for a very belated dual birthday pampering treat and that all went swimmingly.

No queues. Luxury pedicures and for me an eyebrow shape. We stop off afterwards to our cafe and have a quick sandwich. 

I was extremely naughty and ordered a strawberry milkshake to settle my stomach and for the cravings and we relaxed and talked and it was all wonderful.

We part company and she leaves, I climb on the bus and depart and then boom, some guy says I'm a friend of so and so, are you..? 

Inwardly I really wanted to lie and say no because I was tired but I found myself hesitantly saying yes and then the barrage of personal questions began. 

Do you live around here? Do you live alone? Do you live with your parents? It was one stop closer to identity theft. 

I just had to make my excuses and leave at that point. I felt I had done the polite thing by half smiling and stopping to make idle chit chat. 

Here is where it gives even creepier. As I part, he walks along side me and I move to cross the street and then he backtracks and walks the other way. 

Creepy Creepy Creepy! If you must hassle a woman and I don't advise it. Keep it short and harmless.

I know men are taught to be persistent (at least the ones that corner me) but they should be taught, how to read signals. As in cease and desist. 

There is no part of me that is engaged in this conversation voluntarily. Try not to encroach on a woman's peace, we have so little of it.

Relentlessness is not flattering. It is not a compliment or a statement of your personal appeal. At the worst, it's frightening but generally it is aggravating and bothersome.

I have got to get out of my head

Aright I admit it. I am not happy and haven't been for a while.

I'm going through the motions of life and doing almost everything I'm supposed to but the constant lack of sleep during this heatwave and my general restlessness means that dark thoughts are swirling through my head.

I'm not a huge fan of posting negative thoughts continuously but it does help me to express myself so I can't help it. I would never again admit this to anyone else that I know. 

I feel guilty that I burdened my friend with it when I blurted out.. 

"I wish I didn't survive." 

I was long past my breaking point and the pain was monopolising my body in the most brutal fashion. I could not cope, none of my tricks were helping. 

I was just completely broken down.

I knew she was worried and I shouldn't have vocalised it but it did feel good not burying my feelings. This is how I feel sometimes when I can't function. 

There is no escape from it. I just have to endure it until I can crawl back home and shut the world out and hope I can close my eyes for a brief moment or two.

I thought about all the times I collapsed and pondered on how peaceful it felt. I was ready to leave all the misery behind. 

To feel complete and utter numbness and then I kept being revived and I wanted to protest, It wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to cry out "Leave me be."

The aggravating thing about it though is that when my wish finally came true and I was close to the edge. Nearer than I had ever been before..  

I didn't give up. I fought to survive, partially for me and a fraction for my mother. 

I just couldn't leave her in that miserable situation, so here I am alive with people still commenting how fortunate I am to have come out of it unscathed. 

None of them know I am still bleeding on the inside and the wounds are cut too deep to be patched up completely. 

Yes I will continue on but no I will never get over it. My experiences will continue to haunt me until the bitter end.

Good deeds and new treats

Not long ago I discovered a fun new site that was different to the norm https://www.agoatnamedpenny.com. I get excited to see new sites pop up and have a look around before I decide to join up. 

It's a free lottery/competition site to win cash/voucher/food items and not many people know about it because I've been chatting with the owner.

I'm used to loading up various raffle/lottery sites from my favourites, checking them and moving on but with this one there is more thought that has gone into it. 

Numbers to be picked and ways to earn extra entries that won't exasperate you, as long as you are willing to be active and put a small bit of effort in.

I've won and claimed so can recommend it. I only talk about sites that I have won from as in the past I have had difficulty with claims and customer service being lapse.

With this site I admit to having taken a personal interest in. I've seen a lot of free prize sites go under and have been able to take or leave them but this one I decided to help.

I'm no marketing expert but as a frequent user of lottery sites I have seen what they should and shouldn't do so I have made some suggestions as to how to attract more people and what could make it easier. 

It feels good to help out and though I don't know if it's enough. I made some solid recommendations. It has since gone under unfortunately. 

Over Easter I tried out the Shloer Rose version for the first time. After I had a weak barely there sip I was amazed it didn't actually contain alcohol. 

As a longtime teetotalist, I think Shloer was the brand that I really latched onto. It had a natural taste that made me feel I wasn't missing out on alcohol. 

I hope it's not a limited edition because it's a new favourite. 

I've also tried out Ritz bakefuls which are delicious but quite pricey at £1.65 and it irks me that just like Snack a Jacks multipack Ritz has 5 packets and Snack a Jacks have 4. 

Why are they less than the usual 6 packet combination that is more value for money?

Quack doctors

I'm feeling really conflicted at the moment. Possible changes are around the corner finally but now I have to face my fears and make a doctors appointment.

I haven't done that for many years now because I hate the medical profession that dismisses you and makes you feel crazy.

Like you're wasting their precious time because they haven't been able to diagnose you and you don't fit into anything typical.

When I switched to my third and final doctor. I gave it my last chance. I have been sick since I was a teenager and all they were content to do is make me go back and forth with blood tests.

Telling me that I was making up my symptoms and that I just needed pills and more pills. Antidepressants, painkillers and iron tablets because my body doesn't process iron very well.

I'm someone that doesn't ask for help. I fix myself. I do whatever I feel is best and relying on pills isn't and trying to be recognised as someone with chronic health issues is just as detrimental to my health as the symptoms themselves. 

I started to question my own sanity and wondered if maybe I was making it all up but then I moved and did something routine and the pain was instant and then I knew. 

My pain was real. 

Right at the beginning. I reluctantly accepted the cocktail of medication that I was prescribed because it was necessary. 

However being a numb walking zombie and not being able to keep down food, sleep or feel anything was horrendous. I just felt paranoid and blank. 

Defying the doctors orders. I took myself off them and felt immediately better. It still surprises me how strong I am deep down but I've been through a lot and treating myself naturally without chemicals is far better for me.

Hot/cold gel packs, massage cushion with heat and simply resting is all the assistance I need. As for the panic attacks, my secret weapon is distraction. 

Eyes averted, deep breaths and music playing in my ears. If I don't or can't do those things it is ten times worse and it's all I can do to stop myself from passing out.

Sashay this way

It's been a mixed time for me. PMT has hit me hard and I have been sick quite a bit. It just used to be limited to feelings of queasiness but now I am just vomiting. 

Very unpleasant but that was actually the worst of the side effects. 

Cramps were actually minimal luckily but insomnia was disruptive so I felt all kinds of emotions and resorted to watching the sappiest movies to wring it out of me.

Mother's Day is fast approaching on the 11th March and to be honest I had no idea what to get mum. 

I asked her if she needed anything which is cheating but I like to get practical useful gifts that the person wants but wouldn't necessarily treat and purchase for themselves. 

Luckily today she spotted some beautiful plush boots and when I pointed out that they were also in a red shade (her favourite) she was sooo happy. 

We disagreed on the style for the collar but actually her choice looks quite distinctive to the norm that I have generally seen so I had to buy them for her and of course she said she would pay me back but I jumped at the chance to point out this was my gift to her.

So she is excited and unsure about when they will arrive. Last day for the discount so we had to act fast. I just hope they fit comfortably.

The slapping method

I finally feel a little more presentable now that my eyebrows have been shaped and tidied. Mum and me spent half the day together even though it was bitterly cold and drizzling. 

The winnings haven't gone into her account yet but it sometimes seems rare for us to get together without interruptions so we decided to meet anyway.

I skipped breakfast as usual. I just didn't feel hungry and I knew we'd be having a big lunch so that was fine. The salon was actually the busiest I've seen it in a while so we had to wait. 

If I had minutes on my phone I would have booked but too much gabbing away on the phone has dried up the mere 400 that BT permits me.

I'm not sure about this new leave in conditioner I bought. I prefer the spray kind as it's less weighty but  it doesn't seem to do much although having just felt my hair it is a fraction softer. 

I might just stick with the cream one I discovered in Tesco that smells divine. I can't be too liberal with it though as it doesn't soak in well but if used correctly it does leave my hair kissably soft. I actually forgot I had any at home hence buying more.

Now that my hair is so much shorter I am determined to take care of it better so that it grows quickly and healthily. It was the longest length I have managed to grow it since being a teenager.

I'm sure it was just above my waist but it was so stringy and thin I just had to be strict with myself and cut off the majority.

Have you ever had a percussion massage? I haven't. I'm so used to my cosy shiatsu massage cushion that I have never considered anything else. 

Well this time I was sat on the right chair and it was set to percussion and some sort of pushy squeezey method which was truly bizarre and not greatly relaxing but when it swept across my back that was heavenly.

I let mum go first because we both love how the female beautician thoroughly does the leg massage whereas the male only goes as far as the ankle.

Unfortunately as they were so full today we both waited in turn and he treated us both which was a smidgen disappointing but it was still a decent experience until the end. 

I'm not sure why he is so heavy handed or thinks women appreciate it but it is too freaky. At the end he started slapping my legs up and down. 

I watched in amazement as he had done it to previous people but somehow was still gobsmacked when he did it to me and it wasn't light it was as though he was seeking revenge. 

Hard and violent psychopathic retribution. I had to tell him to stop because it bloody hurt.

Why..? Oh why?? Would you do that to a woman? Instead of just ending on a soothing massage? 

I am still traumatised and may need to seek therapy or go the easy route and plead with the female staff to take care of me next time :)

I don't consider myself a gambler but..

I've tried out a few game sites in my time and the majority were free or had free games within them and I have had varying degrees of luck however I'm not so keen on the chat aspect. 

I have made a few great friends and have also butt heads unfortunately but I remember the chat section in Jackpotjoy being my favourite. 

I was at a particularly low time in my life and I used to play the free games and leave the chat open observing the silly and humorous banter too shy to join in until one day I did. 

I remember this shroud of darkness clouding my moods and one of the highlights would be to login there and take my mind off my horrid home life.

Now I have found a new site offering bingo and slots and although you have to make a deposit to withdraw any profit, they offer free and low cost games. 

I actually missed out on the promotion for the first deposit because I didn't read the blurb properly and only put in the bare minimum which was £5 to withdraw £64 but aside from the lousy clueless customer service it's actually not a bad site. 

I do keep winning and losing but now I've decided to just gamble the pennies and leave the pounds to build up as it is so tempting to try for a big bundle and convince yourself that you will eventually get the bonus game if you play long enough but that isn't always true.

My mum has had better luck and scooped £250. She was half screaming half laughing down the phone in disbelief. She is definitely more sensible and careful about her low bets than me who goes overboard haha. 

To celebrate next week weather permitting we are going to do dual pedicures, eyebrow shapes finally, lunch and possibly some shopping.

It's a new year and I have been struggling with my book and the direction it was going until recently where I managed to carve out some ideas. 

The chapter I'm on now is not flowing at all but today I am going to do my best to finish it. I do want to progress and start on the second book while the ideas are fresh in my mind.

Fed up with the inaccurate view counter on here, I did sign up for Google analytics but I'm finding that confusing and incorrect also so I don't know if my only solution will be too start posting directly on bloglovin. 

Mind you they only have a 7 day summary.

Christmas defrazzlement

This week has been decidedly rocky. The nausea is coming and going but for the most part it is over with however my physical endurance was pushed to the limit and I felt very dizzy and unsteady on my feet. 

Before I never used to feel lightheaded or shaky but now it comes on unexpectedly. I would usually choose the lift option but that was unavailable. 

I'm surprised I made it down the stairs I was shaking so badly and welling up because it was all too much. I have tried to put it behind me but it keeps haunting me.

I was basically told that because I look normal he made a judgement call that I didn't need any special treatment/assistance and so point blank refused to aid me but this week saw me crippled in pain. 

His uncooperative self had to profusely apologise over and over because I was literally shuffling forward half a centimetre at a time and holding onto the walls to steady myself.

Too little too late. I am not in the habit of lying or exaggerating my health conditions so when I request help or allowances be made for me that is not a whim. 

That is because inwardly I am screaming in pain and about to collapse from the strain of staying upright.

I'm so glad this year was nothing like last Christmas, putting my foot down and requesting that I know whether or not I will be away for the holidays was the sane thing to do. 

I left on the 23rd and was pricing cabs around and then looking around for my phone that I had in my hand a second ago when the cab pulled up. 

It had all my playlists and daft games on it and I would have been lost without it. It was only when I arrived safely at mums that I found it at the bottom of my overstuffed bag. 

Such a relief.

It only took me stepping into her home to feel the burdens lifted and the stress dissipating immediately. From then on I just switched off and let all my issues fade away. 

I had planned to do some writing and blogging but I just didn't have it in me. December had been such a rough month that all I wanted to do was catch up and have some fun and that's exactly what I did.

Presents wise I got some headphones, hair accessories, giftcards, speciality cake and creams. The gifts I bought went down well, mum loves her chic red microwave slippers. 

It went by too quickly but it was a wonderful festive time for me.