#BlogLife649 - Sexy Fem Vs Plain SS

Song of the day - Taio Cruz - Dynamite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4cdPKLGkhc&list=WL&index=50

Mama was telling me about this veggie sushi that's come out. Ocado sells it but when I looked at the ingredients, it just didn't appeal.

I stuck to the chicken one, which was lush. I also just got some Neutrogena moisturiser, the plain one not the grapefruit, for something different.

Plus Delia White vitamin C face wash, I haven't heard of her so an exciting new brand to try out.

My skin is just drying out completely and no amount of heaped on dove moisturiser is helping really.

I guess it does for a lil while and then my face goes back to being severely dehydrated.

At least I know the neutrogena always helps. I decided to be a lil bad and get some more clementine juices and appletiser, just to mix up the drinks routine.

Sometimes it's a lil dull consuming the same drinks all the time. I also just trimmed my hair so now it feels a lot less and more tidier.

I should pluck too, maybe at the weekend when I can be bothered.

Ok I did a weird thing, I was looking at summer tops, as it seems to be get getting warmer and warmer here.

I don't like to be a sheep and follow everyone's fashion, I don't like plain things either, it needs detail.

I was scrolling through and saw the typical flowery crap and I was going to get it and then changed my mind and saw this striking top.

It's a hybrid of purple and black, it's only that the cleavage part has bits of stripes going through it, drawing the eye.

It's a lil slutty, that part isn't to my taste but the rest is just sooo stunning, I bought it and also got a lil vest to go under it lol.

I haven't totally gone crazy and reverted to wearing revealing outfits but for the most part, that top is just totally different to the normal dull range that I see everywhere.

Then I bought some lacey underwear. I'm probably not going to date and this is all just for my benefit but sometimes a woman just wants to feel feminine in her own right.

#BlogLife648 - Chatty chicks watching flicks 8

Song of the day - Bayanni & Jason Derulo - Ta Ta Ta

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4u7TC3WjR0&list=WL&index=49

I just watched The Way We Were with Robert Redford and Barbra thinking it was this grand love affair.

But good heavens, it's awful, cringey, just bad, don't look at it. I think I've tried to look at it a few times and struggled to get past the beginning.

But I wanted something in the background while I was playing Looney Tunes and this was it.

It's about this desperate self loathing woman, who has a crush on this guy, who just doesn't like her in a romantic sense.

She's political and he's not, they don't belong together at all. He seems vapid and she seems serious and passionate in her beliefs.

She relentlessly chases him, which is a warning to all women, don't ever pursue someone indifferent to you.

You'll never know if they are truly interested, or if you are just a body and an ego boost to them.

Which is what she became. I kept thinking move the hell on, get some therapy, learn to love yourself.

Because anyone with confidence, doesn't let their partner, treat them like absolute crap.

Sorry for the spoiler but eventually she get's cheated on, dumped, pregnant and left.

He doesn't give a damn about his child and that's on her for picking someone who doesn't care an iota about her.

I finished Dr Quinn Medicine Woman, I mostly enjoyed it, the later seasons didn't seem as interesting.

It was funny, sad and compelling, some of the storylines were a lot to handle with the prejudice and racism.

My favourite people were Grace, her hubby Robert E, I hated that the writers killed their son.

Horace and Myra, I was sad when they split up, they seemed sweet together but then she went from one from tyrant to another and just increased his insecurities.

I preferred the original actress that played the daughter Colleen, the replacement was really good but when you see someone first, you get used to them.

I found two new shows to get into. Tracker about this guy who locates missing items or people, seems interesting so far.

Also Wild Cards about this jaded cop and a con artist thief who team up, when she gets caught.

#BlogLife647 - My therapy costs money!!

Song of the day - Shenseea/Masicka/Di Genius - Hit & Run

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXuTYq1vCsg&list=WL&index=49

I'm not a professional therapist but I did study psychology and counselling but only at the basic levels.

I don't claim to know everything or be have the ability to fix everyone that crosses my path.

However I am empathetic, intelligent and a great listener.

I can sense issues and most of the time know how to respond in a beneficial manner.

But that's limited to being in a controlled area like volunteering. 

Not in a chatroom, where certain people want my help, my patience and my advice for free.

Like most sensible people chatrooms are to have a giggle and destress.

It's not fair to offload significant problems onto strangers aka me.

As I feel obligated to assist and that spoils my mood.

Seek a proper psychotherapist or a volunteer service designed to support you.

I always joke about charging for advice but half of me actually means it.

Why should I be burdened with your catastrophic life??

Do what I do, help yourself or get outside assistance.

Don't rely on strangers to save you.

This random was like..How do I save someone who doesn't want to be helped, who isn't listening anymore?

I detached myself and bluntly said..,if they are that determined,  they will find a way.

You can try an intervention or having them committed but ultimately they have to choose to want to live.

Just like I did. I can't be there for everyone. I don't want too.

I have enough on my plate. I'm not here to carry everyone's else's baggage too.

I've had many depressed randoms just complaining and expecting me to just cheerfully make them whole.

Ugh that is so draining and I feel disgusted with them, that they are content to stomp on my fun and carefree mood just to get some attention.

I can be nice in the right environment but chatrooms are not it!!

I also resent that I'm expected to give the perfect sympathetic reply to make them feel good.

When in truth, I actually couldn't care less!

I don't know you, we are strangers, I'm not responsible for your happiness, just my own.

I'm always expected to play therapist and I'm sick of it.

You want to depress me too? Make me as miserable as you are??

Pay for it!! Amazon/PayPal I care not. Either will do.

You self centred individual!!

I just started using the new face wash, Skin Expert and the new moisturiser Dove body love.

The face wash no longer smells like dish washing liquid. It's clear and gloopy, applies and washes off easily.

But I have a strong feeling it's drying out my face, I have been applying moisturiser multiple times a day, using my face mask all weekend and prior to this, my face was smooth and clear.

Now I am breaking out in pimples, it feels really dry and I don't think it's doing me any good.

But I'm going to continue using it for now, as I don't have any others, if my skin gets worse I will definitely bin in though.

The moisturiser is lovely and light, has a wonderful strong rose smell.

It seems to be moisturising but my face is problematic at the moment, so it's hard to tell how effective it is.

I just love the scent though. Oh I tried out the Regal raita dip, I hated it.

I always hope it will taste like the shops version, savoury, minty, runny yoghurt and flavourful but it never does.

Try as they might, they cannot replicate it.

#BlogLife646 - I know allllll about you SS.....

Song of the day - KI - Love You Again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfDDOXhHEeU&list=WL&index=48

I know it's been a bit random-centric at the moment but that's how it seems to be going, one minute no randoms, and the next there is an abundance of them coming and going..

I just spoke to Mama and she's happy that her thermals already arrived and she's pleased with the loosey goosey fit and style.

I asked if she wanted some more Masala chai teas and she said no thanks, she's stocked up.

One of the newer ex randoms called E somehow took it upon himself to try and psycho-analyse me.

I didn't ask him too, we were just talking about words and scrabble and suddenly he just put me under a microscope.

One of those most tedious things a random can do is think he knows me, from a brief tiny 1% of my interaction, where I share barely anything and just mess about.

This guy E spouted pages and pages about me and after the first few sentences I just ignored him and let him rant and rave.

The rest of them were much better, MC was about and we talked about fitness and stress and I encouraged him to find a healthy outlet, exercise and he said walks and drives and the gym were the things he misses, just lacks the motivation to proceed.

So I told him to incentivise it and plan a reward system, I guess we will see if he proceeds with it on our next chat.

Then there was GG or real name J, I know I thought we banned all the J's but this one snuck through.

I think we spent maybe 3 or 4 hours chatting about everything, he's quite quick witted throwing in jokes that I didn't even think of.

I better sprinkle some lemon essential oil on my pillow tonight, for some reason my eyes and throat are burning, my throat feels like it's cut up, ouchy.

He was flirty, yet polite, as though he has a brain and is not all about chat up lines but actually wanted to get to know me, as a person.

Which is a rare, that I can have a giggle, connect and be heard and not just have someone fake listening.

The scary thing about this one, is that he actually is local. He said that's he really busy and independent, which I loved.

Because he has his own life and I wouldn't be his sole focus, I need my own space to breathe and retreat.

But then he said, although he travels a lot, his weekends are free and I thought drat ha.

Though one thing he said, struck me as strange, with all the frequent sightseeing he does, why does he have an expired passport? 

I'm not sure if he was joking about that? He didn't mention getting it renewed or why lie about visiting different places?

It's just a bit peculiar and my radar goes off for potential liars.

But he didn't badger me for information or personal details, we just had a back and forth of general tidbits.

He did ask for my messengers, which I don't have so I ignored that and went to wash my face and brush my teeth, sometimes I need a break.

When I came back he had said, a few things and then goodbye.

The one thing I liked was that at one point I said something and he didn't reply, so I waited followed up and still there was nothing.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt, said I was going to refresh and message one more time and then go to sleep.

I did just that and he replied that he was messaging me and I wasn't responding but he somehow knew that I wouldn't leave without saying Goodbye, so he patiently waited for me to return.

I thought that was sweet because where possible, unless I'm in a fight, I will always say Goodnight and I expect the same in return.

In person you wouldn't just walk away halfway and not end it politely, so why do it online??

Alright it gets weirder. Y just contacted me after ages and I was really surprised.

I told him I thought he ghosted me and he seemed disturbed about that revelation,

I honestly don't know why he bothered contacting me, it was so awkward and strained.

Noone forced him to greet me, why not just ignore me and let the connection die?

Instead of barely saying two words, with pregnant pauses scattered throughout??

If you want to be in my life, great, if you don't? I don't give a damn.

Why feel obligated? I'm not gonna track you down and bombard you with questions!!

I would have already moved on. In the end I just left without a Goodbye because I felt he was taking the mickey and I don't appreciate that rudeness.

#BlogLife645 - I was mistaken about you

 Song of the day - Master Saleem & Various Artists - Luzar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWp2pph5vUs&list=WL&index=47

I like the message at the end of this video, that he shared he was put down and criticised a lot even by his own family.

I can relate to that wholeheartedly but it's brave to admit it. It's funny that every time I seem to praise a company they immediately let me down.

I told the owner or server where I bought the ladoos and pakoras how much I enjoyed the recipe and that I had never tasted them freshly cooked before.

But I also said I couldn't handle the sauce it was too spicy and he laughed and so did I.

Last time the pakoras were so deliciously new and mild, it was perfect, this time, they tasted slightly stale and cripes, there is so much spice and pepper, it's way less enjoyable.

I'm still going to eat it but I will get the cooling cucumber mint raita yoghurt dip from Iceland, actually I've seen another version and I hope that is more minty with the tiniest hint of spice.

I don't mind it in small doses, just don't burn my mouth off!!

Last night that same guy, I think because I can't recall his name, messaged me, like nothing happened.

It was just Hello and let's chat..... I blinked, was this the same one that had a bitch fit???

Accusing me of being mean to him?? Now suddenly he's talking like nothing ever happened.

If you've regained your senses and realised you were being a tit!!

Then man up and say, Look, I'm sorry for my attitude before, I read you wrong and overreacted, can we please start over??

Do they ever say that? Well I guess one did, but then he was a lying sack of insincerity!!

The randoms are completely nuts! But I don't like being falsely accused.

And some of them I can tell are just horrible human beings that are attention seeking and will attempt to destroy any females good calm mood.

I tend to avoid those once I confirm my suspicions.

I would love to buy a hair mask for my scalp but I don't have the patience to leave it to soak, only to struggle to rinse and remove it all.

I'll just try and buy conditioners more often, I don't know why I keep forgetting, maybe I am just trying to save money?

#BlogLife644 - You don't hate me, your brain does..

Song of the day - Ravi B - Shirley Gyal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CATRtgcIxw0&list=WL&index=46

Afternoony to each and every one of you. It's actually a pretty lovely sunny day weather wise.

But I'm hormonally frozen, whenever I am on, my internal body temperature drops significantly and I'm already cold blooded, so the heating is on high as is the blankie to try and warm me up.

I must have slept alright because I rarely have energy when I'm out, I got some soothers lemon sweets because my throat is a lil dry and I feel sniffly.

Then I went to get the pakoras and some ladoo desserts, I had to ask the guy where they were. I didn't even know they did plain and the pistachio version, the nutty one is so much nicer.

I was going to get some sandwiches also but the energy was starting to dip and I had been pain free so I didn't bother.

I knew though as soon as I got indoors, I would be excessively drained for at least half the day if not all of it.

I tried to nap but it's just not happening, I think I'm too cold still. Although one or rather two things that are hurting are my hands.

Luckily they haven't completely seized up but it's getting easier to strain them, sooner and sooner in the day, unlike before.

It would be better if I could rest but maybe later. I feel like I just made my own version of a smoothie.

I left some orange juice in the bottle froze it overnight, poured fresh juice into and it's got the bits and icy lumps of orange that are melting inside, delicious.

I've nibbled but I don't feel too hungry, just tired. Last night I saw MC, we seem to be going more on the deep and meaningful side at the moment, we never used too.

Because I have known him for probably a few months now, as it was way before Christmas that we first spoke.

I told him everything about being ill and why is makes dating a hindrance, he too seemed to get it and be understanding.

But let's see how he reacts next time I see him or if he recalls what I even divulged..

I spoke to someone else who seemed alright but was obsessed with trying to figure me all out in one day.

Now the problem with these types of people, I have encountered many times over, is that they latch on, have a stranglehold on you are eventually convinced you are this way or that.

Without realising, it takes time to get to know someone, I never serve myself up anyway, I share bits and pieces that aren't personal.

Anyway at first he was praising me, Oh you're so funny, you're so real, blah blah blah.

The problem with this over zealous enthusiasm, is that eventually you will say something they don't like and they can't handle it and will turn on you for it.

It all seemed fine and then he really royally flipped out and out of nowhere said I know you don't mean that, you shouldn't hurt peoples feelings.

I genuinely wasn't, I was just going along with the chat and then he said, I'm leaving.

I laughed and didn't even bother to respond because he wanted me to engage, he wanted me to beg him to stay or have this invisible row made out of thin air, and I refused.

Things can be misinterpreted, tone can be hard to read. But I don't feel I said anything rude or disrespectful at all.

I blocked him and he kept bombarding me with messages all night, luckily they all failed as I wasn't in the mood.

If you right someone off or exit, then stay gone, what's the point of seeking attention all night?

I don't understand that. I get rejected and ghosted all the time, you don't see me pinging them to get noticed.

I might just do it once, because messages don't always get delivered but that's it.

Unless they message me and initiate contact, I won't chase them.

I recently had a funny chat with someone and halfway through he disappeared, I chased him up once and he didn't reply so I left it.

I wasn't devastated, more curious but I let it go. Sometimes you make a connection and other times you don't and it's fine.

Life goes on, there is another random who keeps messaging me but so far it's always been at the wrong moment.

I don't like his voice but his personality is great, I'm just not sure whether to reconnect or not.

I feel bad for ignoring him. I will see how I feel but just discourage phone calls, ha.

Oh I used the Vatika garlic conditioner this morning, so far so good, my hair is soft, my scalp seems mostly hydrated and my hair looks full and smooth.

It's behaved even though it was windy, it remained styled and cute.

I will have to use it more before I can recommend it.

#BlogLife643 - No-one likes a syrupy soury sick girl..

I confess to buying a whole load of sugary junk today because pmt has been so bad and ongoing.

I got sugary belgian waffles, this Cadbury's chocolate orange cake, strawberry cakes and the Fibre One chocolate doughnuts.

Bad, bad, bad I know but I don't really care at the moment. Now it's Monday and I feel a whole heap better.

Actually it was from Friday that the cramps finally stopped, nausea was minimal and I could finally get to relax.

Sometimes I try to control the sugary cravings but other times I give in because I need a lift in my depressing mood.

Hmm just got an interesting email, Amazon invited me to join Preview, Oh I was so hoping it was Vine, the product testing programme.

But alas it is for feedback on their streaming shows. There's no real incentives, sometimes they do giveaways I guess.

Did I just give myself more work? Maybe it will be fun. There are a few shows I like on their platform, not that I can think of any right now..

Oh as Mama's Day is upcoming, I asked her what she would like for it, it's just easier that way.

And she said thermals so she took out Prime and got them and I just sent her the money for it.

But I feel like doing the hamper thing too, I doubt the other 2 will remember the day so maybe some fudge and scented lotion, she did love that..

I assume Y has ghosted me as I haven't heard from him since he was so "understanding" about my health conditions.

Men always like to be perceived as saying the right thing, doing the right thing but as soon as I mention being ill, they run a mile.

He wasn't a keeper but I did enjoy most of our conversations. I just wish he/they had the courage to say..

Umm that sucks for you but I'm no longer interested in sticking around so ta ta..........

#BlogLife642 - I have something to tell you..

The 2 Fry vegan katsu chicken fillets £3 were hit and miss. What they did, which they shouldn't have, was dump a whole load of excess salt into the mix.

The first bite I didn't like, it doesn't taste like katsu chicken at all, more like southern fried.

I'll be honest I didn't try the sauce because I don't really like what it's usually paired with.

The second and subsequent bites, were more pleasing. I just wish they didn't consider salt to be the only seasoning they needed.

Just felt like they were being sloppy and not making the effort. I'm not sure I would recommend it based on all this.

Changes need to be made for sure.

Next was the 2 Green Cuisine quarter pounder burgers, also £3 and I forgot I purchased these to be honest.

But I probably thought I must try different brands just to compare them and see what I would like or hate.

These were definitely not a fake meat product but more just vegetables, it wasn't bad as such, I just prefer less veggies more fake meat. I probably wouldn't get it again.

Nice taste, I just want proper alternatives, if I'm going to really somewhat convert to the vegan/vegetarian options.

Y brought up the question of would we ever meet each other? I guess at this point, maybe I test the waters a bit.

So I revealed I have severe chronic pain that makes socialising challenging.

I thought that wasn't too overwhelming to divulge. I left out the other health issues and details.

He seemed to take it in stride, gently enquired whether I should go out more but I explained the exhaustion aspect and he was sympathetic.

I however felt over exposed and didn't regret telling him but at the same time, I feel like I needed my ego stroked from a regular who adores me completely, without knowing me at all ha!

In case at this point Y decides he would rather speak to someone healthy and normal, it's happened before, meh.

MC came on at the same time as Y and I thought ugh bad timing so I said brb, brushed my teeth, spilt and made a mess, hurried back and MC had departed.

Which was good and bad, all at the same time, I felt bad, I've never neglected him before.

Lucky he came on tonight after Y departed thank heavens.

I was not in the mood to juggle them both. He did what I expected, made me relax and laugh and we just caught up and he was playfully winding me up and I fell for it ha.

Nice way to end the evening though.

#BlogLife641 - Would you be intimate whilst on your period? 18+

Happy Valentines Day to all of you:)

It's been a random day full of randoms.

First up that therapist chat that was deep and meaningful should have been a one off!

I don’t know if he was embarrassed about oversharing but the next conversation was so ridiculously boring.

I stopped talking to him after that, life's far too short to be trapped.

The next one was the serial ghoster who said Hi as though nothing happened. 

If that was me I would say I'm really sorry, can I just explain?

But I coldly greeted him with Oh it's the time waster.

He replied with You blocked me while I was in hospital.

Last time his excuse was I'm visiting my friend in hospital.

Come on put some effort, some originality with your lying please pffft.

I replied how convenient and that I didn't want someone popping in and out.

I need consistency to build up trust and reliability, that's my preference as I don't trust most people. 

So he laughably retorted, You want me to be all in?

Ha!! I said we're strangers, find someone that doesn't mind you coming and going.

Does he take me for a fool? Me thinks he does!

Ok last one. This is such an overshare but here goes.

Feel free to stop reading this bit. Me and Y were talking and I mentioned feeling unwell and cramping.

He guessed that I was on my period and truth be told I've only been intimate once during this time.

I got talked into going out and messing about with him and I felt even more undesirable and awkward.

We ended up halting and he just said I dont want to make you uncomfortable.

I wasn't really sure how I felt, sex is and always will be confusing. 

Anyway back to me and Y. He said that when these times happened he wouldn't fool around with the woman.

Would not satisfy her needs, even in the shower but would expect blowjobs ha!!!!

That is what we were kinda disagreeing about.

I find that self serving and unfair. That he expects to be satisfied but would leave his better half unfulfilled???

It was delicious debating with him because he did discuss it with me.

I found his answers hysterical,  he lost intellectual points.

This was his side and I wouldn't normally share but I hate selfish men.

They are the reasons I would never immediately show my loving side because its exploited and I told him this!

Anyway he said.. (I'm shaking with laughter).

That me giving pleasure to him should be satisfying enough and that I should be happy to please him lol.

What bollocks!!

Oh he added this bit, which made him look foolish.

That if I made him just concentrate on my needs alone, he would feel used.

I in turn said I would never ask you to do that and not reciprocate and yet you are demanding I do that for you!!!

There was no way he could win this round so he just said, there are other factors but let's agree to disagree.

We didn't really resolve anything,  that side of him, I don't really respect.

But he remains unblocked..

I just think if you really care about someone you will naturally want to make them happy.

My solution was no physical contact during that time then for either of us, fair is fair.

Relationships should be equal. I guess on the flip side, anytime I wasn't in the mood, I could just state, Oh no sorry unpredictable monthly has started.

He would probably say, What again? That's the 14th time this month!

Ha I'll always find a way to make things even and protect myself from being used!

#BlogLife640 - What he should do to make you happy!

I think before Christmas my scalp was finally normal, it didn't feel dry and itchy anymore.

Then when I went to Mama's it became dry again. I haven't been using a separate conditioner so I went ahead and purchased Vatikas cactus conditioner as the shampoo was phenomenal.

That should arrive maybe at the weekend or before hopefully. Maybe it will help fix my scalp problems.

The seller said there's been some problems, maybe they were out of stock but everything is ok now and it's out for delivery.

Due on maybe Thursday or Friday, I think I read something about 24 hours.

Anyway, how are you doing? I feel lousy to be honest, just came on and the nausea surprisingly is minimal, the cramps however started yesterday, lasted the night and morning and are continuing.

But I had breakfast and am sipping my lemon and orange blend and hopefully they will subside soon.

Plus I finally remembered to sprinkle the clary sage essential oil for pmt and I think it actually does help.

I'll be tempted to walk with it next time I go to Mama's, except I would be scared of another spillage.

I was trying to nap but it's not taking. I'm on my third consecutive date with a new random called Y.

(We are all relieved it's not another dreaded J). He is funny, sweet, intelligent and charming.

But he has kids and a shaved head and isn't a local so not suitable but is great company.

I respect that if he disagrees with me, he'll blurt it out, he won't just agree or be swayed to my side, I can't stand that.

But today something came up and we discussed it and I thought hmmm.

I didn't really think you would be like that but then again, he is male.

So we kinda left it on a slightly uneasy, to be continued note, although it was a civilised goodbye.

Except I couldn't help being a tad immature and saying Have a nice life...

Which is my standard kiss goodbye speech. At least he is there when he says he will be.

Or apologises if he's late. But I don't like one-sidedness. If you expect something, you should be willing to give it also.

Plus I guess I am miffed a lil because this was supposed to be our first call together and because we're having this disagreement, he didn't want too.

Although in his defence, he did seem super busy. I do try to be fair and not just show my side of things because that doesn't give the full picture.

Not everything should go my way and I don't expect it too, I'm fine with compromising, unless I feel strongly against whatever it is.

I think it bothers me because I am used to selfish men who only care about their needs and not mine and this seemed like a big warning to dig deeper and find out, if he's really this self centred..

Or if I am mis-reading this situation and later on he will say, Alright to workaround our opposing sides, I would be willing to blah blah blah..

At least he's willing to discuss it further, most are like, that's it end of discussion, you know how I feel lol.

But on a serious note, if it turns out, he is that type of person, the me me me, who is thoughtless, it turns out....

Um I'm not sure I will see him in the same way as I did previously.

To me he will be a user that only cares about his happiness and not mine.

I'm not saying he should change his mind and agree with me but he definitely needs to make some steps to meet me halfway.

Otherwise it's just disrespectful.

#BlogLife639 - The price of veganism

I've just sampled the first of the vegan meals that I am supplementing my snacks with.

It's by Birds Eye, southern fried chicken grills. I never really read the cooking times, the writing is too small or not legible for me.

Normally the standard is twenty minutes from frozen. This however was too much, maybe fifteen would have been better because it's a lil hard and dry.

Oh the price for two smallish fillets is £2.70 which I guess isn't bad.

You definitely need a sauce with it, I'm using the onion and garlic dip and it's lush.

Onto the taste? It's absolutely delicious, I can't pinpoint particular flavours but to me, it's like a weak taste of chicken.

Some people when they search for alternates don't want that taste but I find I do because I still enjoy it, but in less quantities.

I would recommend it, it's plant based and none of the ingredients stand out for me so I won't list them but this is a great substitute for chicken.

I'm happy I bought it and it's not a waste of money, phew.

Next up was the Quorn chicken and bacon lattice vegetarian, which when I first saw bacon I thought no, yuck pork.

Then realised duh, it's vegan silly, ha so I added it to the basket.

And Mama reminded me that of course they are showcasing these new products because it is Veganuary.

I totally forgot, anyway, I cooked it for about 22 minutes and that was perfect and left it to settle.

The pastry is crunchy and soft, the filling is creamy with small chunks of faux chicken and bacon and it is delicious.

It's not dry and needs no sauce because it's moist enough. I loved it.

I'm so pleased that now they are seasoning these non meat foods properly, instead of before where they couldn't be bothered.

It's make a huge difference. Another winning product for me and I hope hope hope that it's not just temporary, that it is out permanently because I would get it regularly.

The cost was £2.65 for 2 smallish mediumish pies. I keep getting midnight cravings so I'm not eating enough in the day but I don't feel that hungry at the moment.

However I don't like eating late either and Oh my, the outer coating of the microwave literally just fell off.

I really need to replace it as soon as possible now, oof that is a big expense.

More reviews this time for real chicken, let's mix it up a bit lol. I bought Blue Dragons sweet and sour chicken with sauce..

I normally buy the big bag version but I didn't want that much, in case I hated it.

It's £4 which isn't the cheapest and normally it's sweet and sour balls, not strips.

I cooked it for 15 minutes and was so surprised at the result. The sauce which is normally stupidly salty or sweet or spicy was deliciously mild.

It had spice because my lips tingled but I loved that it was understated.

The strips were abundant I didn't count them but it was enough for 2 portions.

They were wonderfully seasoned so even without the sauce, it tasted like a sweet and sour meal, which I was pleasantly surprised about.

There was a large sachet of sauce that was enough. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

Alright for now, one last foodie review before I forget. I think I was the most excited but apprehensive about trying this.

I put it off until yesterday. The brand is No Bull, not sure I have heard of it.

2 ultimate burgers it was called for £2.50 but they are more like quarter pounders.

It's a firm patty, the first bite was moist, I could tell it wasn't meat but it was pleasant, I can't tell you what the flavour was.

I couldn't work it out but on the subsequent tastes, it almost seemed meat-like.

Maybe I'm going crazy and my taste buds are obsessed with meat and chicken so pretending that it tastes the same..

But these are all obvious fakes, that I thoroughly enjoyed and would purchase them all again.

What I noticed was that after all of these meals, I didn't think ugh, I am fed up with it, like I do with the chicken and beef and salmon.

I think, dang, it's so moreish I could easily eat some more. I really thought I was going to hate everything.

But now I am more open to it. Am I really going off meat and chicken and fish??

#BlogLife638 - Hello I'm veggie-ish, come join us on the dark side..

Song of the day - The Whispers - It's A Love Thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AmGcGfMARE&list=FLI0DEk_aDykRP0sJnme-JBg&index=198

I don't know why song of the day sometimes displays weird and other times not squished and normal.

Ugh anyway, it took a while for my brain to get going, I had an idea and then it vanished by the time I loaded up Blogger, ugh.

Anyway now it's back, the Amazon courier just bought the 4x salines for just over £15 which is crazy good, as they are usually about £8 for one bottle.

No lil surprise extras aww lol. I was kinda hoping for some free cases or storing solution but that's alright, I'm happy to save money with a good deal that will last me a good while.

I just left some positive feedback/mini reviews for the towels, saline and a few other things.

This year more than ever, I really wanted to be brave and finally try some vegan alternatives to meat and chicken.

Richmonds have a selection but I'm no longer seeing it, their vegan sausage is so good, I wonder what the rest is like?

I did see Fry had a new option to try, katsu chicken, plant based vegan.

Oh it's only two inside, for some reason I thought it was more for £3, ouch, that's pricey if I hate it.

Katsu chicken can't be overcooked or under seasoned, it has to be the perfect blend to taste right, I've found.

I also saw some vegan beef burgers. Actually the vegan range is more extensive than I previously thought.

I swear I checked it all out but maybe that was last year because there are new products out, that appeal to me.

Like I said, I'm not looking to give up meat, chicken or fish completely, but right now I don't want to eat that much of it at all.

I'm very fussy though, it has to taste really good for me to say Yes, this is a decent alternative.

I hope the recipes are good. I'll let you know my experiences, good or bad.

I'm watching The Mirror Has Two Faces, yet again. I'm in a mushy mood, I'm not sure why, hormones or maybe Valentines being around the corner..

That's why I'm craving chocolate too. It's so old timey, romantic and feelgood even though it's taking love out of the mix, somewhat because they do eventually fall in love.

It's just so funny and cute and awkward but not in a cringe way, in a more adorable way.

#BlogLife637 - Ouch! What did you just say...?

Song of the day - Ed Sheeran/Cardi B/Camila Camello - South Of The Border

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICrnFX0_LOc&list=WL&index=45

I know once I discover a new artist, I look for more songs from them that I might enjoy, but that's the last of the Camila songs for a while, until I discover more.

I had a late morning, making sure I caught up on the lost sleep, even though I napped yesterday.

I didn't even game in bed, I think I drifted off fairly quickly, which again is unheard of with my insomnia but my body obviously needed the rest.

Then when I was drifting in and out of consciousness, I was thinking about what I'm going to write about today.

To be honest I had no clue, sometimes there is an abundance of ideas, other times I really struggle.

I generally began thinking about yesterday and if there was anything more I could discuss and I realised there was.

A reminder for the regulars and new information for the newbies, I grew up pretty meek and shied away from any disagreements or conflicts because I didn't feel strong enough to handle it.

Plus I felt I wouldn't be able to articulate my point across with much clarity.

I was really opposed to looking foolish, I had zero confidence and conviction in myself and everyone around was a critical audience.

Anyway the more I got to know myself and got comfortable with knowing what I wanted and what I would tolerate from others, I started vocalising my opposition, to the way I was disrespected.

It's still difficult, I still struggle, I pick my battles but I feel like I'm more inclined to speak up, except with family, that's just too unsafe, mentally and physically.

Yesterday I think because of the lack of sleep, I felt really on edge and temperamental.

I think my filter was removed. I can be really tolerable, not if someones being rude but if they are just wanting something that I'm unhappy to provide, I may just go along because I'm not 100% against it.

Now some of the chatrooms have this microphone feature which is separate to the webcam, so almost like a phone chat, without revealing your face.

And one of the randoms talked me into it but I'm a voice person, if I hate the voice, then it's not a relaxing time.

Not to get sidetracked but I was thinking why I like deep voices.

It could be because the majority, well all of them really, were just so immature, that they lied and mistreated me constantly.

Out of all of them, only maybe 1 or 2 had pleasing voices. One in particular, knew what he wanted from a partner and out of life.

Even though he was totally wrong for me, I respected that side of him.

Maybe I associate a deep voice, with maturity? And that's why I gravitate towards it?

Anyway so we had this voice chat and at first I thought Oh okay, not bad and then I thought, No, it's my type of voice, plus it kept disconnecting.

In the end, it just felt unpleasant. I felt really uncomfortable and he wasn't horrible just flirty-ish, which made it worse.

Yesterday, with my truth hurts, no nonsense approach, I had been putting off telling him and I just blurted it out, all the things that were bothering me about him.

He kept asking me for pictures and I kept saying NO. But he still carried on, which got me closer to the breaking point.

I don't like my wishes ignored, that's disrespectful. So I just said to him, please don't ask me for any photos, I've already made myself clear.

And I won't be taking anymore voice chats because I don't feel comfortable with it.

I felt a lil mean and harsh as I typically do, when I put my needs above someone else's but I also felt relieved and better for speaking my mind.

The funny thing was, as he was questioning why, he came out with this speech that he didn't mean.

Oh I see, sorry you feel that way, I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable and I said Thank you, I appreciate that.

Then he stopped talking ha! So I blocked him.

The correct response I was hoping for is this..... I didn't realise how you felt.

It wasn't my intention to cause you any discomfort, thanks for sharing how you feel, I accept your decision, let's move on.

Ha, I rarely get that reaction! Another random was just asking me personal questions and I said No, I'm not going to go into details.

Typically I get......... Ohhhhhh okkkkkk. Completely sarcastic and bitter.

Instead of.. I respect your answer, let's talk about something else.

If I flip it back on myself and someone says something harsh but truthful, not to hurt me, but to express an opinion.

It might sting, I might feel attacked or sensitive but once that feeling calms down..

I'll think alright, I don't agree, here is why but I'm not going to go ballistic on them for speaking their mind, even though we are not on the same page.

If however someone is being direct but vicious on purpose, then I will happily rip them apart because there are ways to say things, that don't offend people.

You can't hurt for the sake of hurting but you can put your point across sincerely and explain why you feel that way, while respecting them as a person.

Suffice to say I blocked him as well, because the sarcasm normally continues as do the questions, they ignore my boundaries or they become belligerent and chats are supposed to be de-stressing not an all out war.

#BlogLife636 - Snap me up with your eyes..

Song of the day - Shawn Mendes/Camila Cabello - Senorita

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkh8UtuejGw&list=WL&index=44

I think I had about two saline bottles left and I am at the end of my cleaning solution for my rgp contact lenses so I decided to see if I could get some bargains.

Yes and no really. I got two Avizor cleaners for £16 ouch, I wanted to get the Ote because they have been formulated to be gentle and everything else burns my eyes but it's too expensive.

I think it's like £10 or some nonsense for 1 bottle. I did have better luck with the saline, I've seen one bottle for £8 but bulk buying is better and I got 4x for £15 because there was an additional discount at the til.

I didn't have a great morning on one hour's night sleep. It was my own fault this time, I had an all nighter with a random, we were just having a laugh and it was cute.

But then I just kept dry heaving all morning, really severely. I could have looked at the international shop full of goodies but I've got snacky stuff at home.

It was a really mild day and I layered up just in case. On second thoughts, after trying all the dips, I actually just favoured the onion and garlic one.

I will buy it as a single pot, next time. Hmm L just asked me about G, which is a big coincidence.

I haven't gotten back to her but it reinforces the feeling that I did the right thing in cutting him off.

Noone should set out to offend people. If you're acting or saying something controversial, then take responsibility for being a horrible human being.

I'm very careful about what I say and do and try to be respectful of others and not treat them badly, unless they are provoking me or something about them is rubbing me the wrong way.

Sometimes by not laughing and joining in and disassociating from certain types of unkind people, we can give them a new point of view to discover.

That says, you don't have to agree with me or think the way I do but you definitely have to look at the type of person that you are and question if that's appropriate, to live and act that way.

You can't pretend you're nice in one breath and then say something incredibly rude and hurtful in the next and expect people to remain friends with you.

Life doesn't work like that!

#BlogLife635 - I'm taking you and your money for a ride..

Song of the day - Shawn Mendes/Camila Cabello - I Know What You Did Last Summer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTtxm1h8edw&list=WL&index=43

It's been a stressful day. I was beginning to suspect something was up with my direct debits.

First EDF keeps mistaking me for the neighbours and saying I owe them copious amounts.

Then another bill I regularly pay, texted me to say I'm seriously in debt and to contact them immediately to sort it out.

I can understand if I'm skipping payments or not giving them the full amounts but I've been carefully making sure I'm up to date.

I wondered if it was spam? I called them up to make enquiries about it and she said, no it was legitimate and I said, that makes no sense.

I pay you on time and I was just about to enquire where the flipping hell that money is going if not on my bills, when she said, Oh you're not due to pay us, you're fine and current, don't worry about it.

But I was so relieved after she said that, the anger disappeared.

It still feels off though, I'm continually paying and yet seemingly close to being in the red?

Highly suspicious, good job I keep the receipts in my email. I don't trust them 100% and I want to cover myself.

I feel like they are making up the numbers and making me pay excess, I just can't prove it.

I have to admit I wanted to put off that phone call until next week but I feel a bit stronger, like I can handle some confrontations, when I know I'm in the right.

I've had a busy day and totally forgot I started this post at the weekend.

Otherwise I'm not sure I had anything to say, I'm just getting a lot of cramps at the moment.

My latest craving and I haven't one of those for a while, was to get the multi dip and crackers as that contains no meat or fish.

I'm still on my mainly plain foods kick. I have tiny meals. I bought some ritz crackers, some jacobs and some mini cheddars.

I first had it at Mama's and it just hit the spot, normally I don't like half the dips, but this is quite tasty.

I routinely stick to hummus but I guess I wanted something different.

Oh oops, I thought it was cheaper than that it was £2.60, it contains onion and garlic, which is my favourite.

Then cheese and chive, sour cream and chive and thousand island.

That's dinner for me unless I fancy something additional with the pmt hormones raging.

Oh I also got some fruit as well, some strawberries and mangos. Very yummy for my fussy tum tum.

Oh I finally saw MC last night, I haven't spoken to him since December, we seemed to keep missing each other and I haven't felt like staying late to wait for him.

It was nice to catch up and have a laugh with someone that is down to earth and not grilling me with personal questions or making me uncomfortable.

#BlogLife634 - I don't want to be a full time veggy

Song of the day - Camila Cabello - Crying In The Club

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dppjr1QAZhM&list=WL&index=42

Maybe this is the way it happens, sometimes meat doesn't taste as enjoyable as it once was.

Red meat was easy enough to forgo, I didn't have pork or duck that much.

Duck I think was at the relatives homes and it never quite tasted right to me.

Pork was sausages or sausage rolls and we transitioned to the veggy ones and didn't miss it.

Typically it was fish, beef and mainly chicken dishes that were cooked.

I still like them but vegetarian meals somehow just satisfy me way more than before.

I had a choice of salmon sushi, sweet and sour chicken with rice and the veggy pakoras..

And normally I gravitate towards meat, because it's hearty, Now it's been over a month and although my appetite is back, mostly..

I've gone off pasta, which I was obsessed with, meat is fine in small does and fish doesn't appeal in a larger sense.

Out of those three choices I kept picking at the pakoras and loving them as a meal.

I know for sure that I would never give up cheese, I know there must be vegan versions but I don't even want to try them, maybe down the road I will be more open.

I also don't want to be that picky eater that says, no main dishes for me, just sides because there is meat on the table.

Why do men lie about their voices? I spoke to another random last night, bragging about his vocal chords.

At this point I know I'll be disappointed. Do they just not know it's deep, or have people lied to them?

Because it's nowhere near even a lil tiny weeny ickle wickle bit hoarse.

I never say they have a crap voice, I just say, it's not my level of nicety.

I don't know why I've always found that to be the most attractive feature of a male.

Could be because I'm a talker and I rarely engage so when I do, I want it to a be a proper long comforting session.