#BlogLife423 - Call Spoof *Congratulations you're a writer*

"Howdy Dollface, welcome to WeFixYou! 

How can my expertise serve you this fine Christmas morning?" 

"Hey, erm I got this email saying I won something."

"Wowee congratulations sweetheart, you must be one of those smart chicky's huh?"

"My name isn't sweetheart or chicky, it's Nom Nom Sulgati Vonamunan."

"I beg your pardon Na Na Chapati Phenomenon." 

"What did you just call me? Look forget my name, please tell me what I won?"

"I'm sorry Mrs NeNe Charity Fashion but I've just looked up the details and you haven't won anything.

Could you please stop impersonating the legitimate winner..

Aka Nom Nom Sulgati Vonamunan!"

"But that's me you twit!" 

"I beg to differ Mrs.. *mumbles name incoherently*

Calm yourself. There is a simple way to resolve this.

What is your Instagram handle?"

"It's VeVe."

"ReeRee? Nope. Ohhhh VeVe? Well done you're our Grand Prize Winner.

Blimey you took your time responding, we messaged you an hour ago.

Anyway here is the details. You'll shortly be receiving an email with a whopping 6% discount.

A 3 pack of screwdrivers. A bottle of anti freeze and a car air freshener. 

When are you coming down to collect these beauties and put your party dress on, there will be photo's taken.

Hello? Mrs NoNo Pilate Marathon? Pftt some people have no class!"

*** I wrote this Spoof while chuckling away at my daft humour because I wanted to find a special way to tell you I just won an advent competition and a phone prize!!

I'm still in shock. I thought it was a mistake or scam but I claimed and it seems legitimate. 

I think I'm just so used to all those fake winning notifications that it took me some investigating and a while to process it.

Secondly my name was always mispronounced and half the time it kinda made me laugh and other times it irritated me.

Due to the fact, it seems simple to me, just break up the syllables and say it that way, easy.

I thought I would make something ridiculous up to give you festive cheer for the holidays.

Plus I haven't written one for agesss.

#BlogLife422 - Driving me away

This has been on my mind but I actually forgot about it until I was wondering what am I going to discuss for the weeks posts.

My family relationships are not stereotypical, they are very murky and troublesome.

For the first time ever, my mama said.... "Oh if you like you can get a lift down with your brother......" 

"He doesn't mind!"

And this has been going around and around in my head for several reasons.

1. He's been driving for years (with/without a licence) and never ever offered me a lift before.

He's spotted me out and about and said nothing. (Which actually I'm fine with but just to give you background information). 

2. What's so different about this year? I don't really see why now, unless mama just prodded him to "bond" with me or to help me reduce cab fares.

3. He suddenly is going to do something for someone without a reward in return? A lil kickback? What is in it for him??

4. He still petrifies me! No part of me wants to be in a confined space with him or even a regular space for any amount of time.

5. He has a vicious temper and would be road raging through the whole journey, which would set my PTSD into overdrive and I would find it hard to breathe.

6. What on earth would we talk about?

I'm not sure why some parents treats sons like God's who can do no wrong.

But they elevate their status and even when fault is discovered, it's swept under the carpet.

I'll give you an example of this. I wasn't going to share this, it didn't seem my business but here goes....

We were invited to this prayer meeting back in my young, young, religious days.

The host said I'm really panicking because my son is in trouble with the law for stabbing his girlfriend/wife in the neck, I can't recall many details but it was with a glass.

I didn't even have time to process that information. Which is horrifying.

As the next thing she said was, I hope he doesn't go to jail for it, he didn't mean it, let's pray that he doesn't suffer or get punished.......................!

She must have provoked him in some way. (She blamed the girlfriend/wifey completely).

Can we all take a minute to digest that because it took me a while (some time later) before I said to my mama covertly....

Hang on, maybe he needs professional help, maybe this will be a warning to not attack a woman...

Maybe this will scare him straight at least.

Nobody in that room said anything like that. That still haunts me!

Which was another nail in the coffin for religion, if abuse is tolerated and not seen as wrong, which was the impression that I got..

Even my own mama said something blase like we should support her wishes etc etc.

Anyway I guess I wanted to put it in some context to make my point.

I've never been hit, slapped, punched or kicked by them but I have been screamed at, threatened and verbally abused constantly.

I mean daily, day in and day out. I guess I can forgive to a point or I could have, if it ceased but it never did.

My confidence was shattered. I just felt low for so long, that I carried the blame on my shoulders internally and didn't realise the impact back then and the ongoing struggle I would face to find myself.

A shy curious girl that wanted to write and be expressive but not attract hate and violence.

You see what bothers me is that she has forgiven him and wiped his slate clean but I still live with fear.

She never, well it never occurred to her once, to enquire..

I know he's not your favourite but is this alright?

Do you think you'll be able to cope, trapped with him in a car?

Is this too much? Are you uncomfortable with the idea?

I think the fact she constantly dismisses my feelings, just kills me.

That's her son and I can see she would want to see the best in him.

I can sense that she would want to see the good and any improvements in him but history cannot be erased.

Verbal threats and intimidation was what I lived with and she did too!

I can't just wave a wand and pretend things are better, when they aren't!!

A whole chunk of depression and suicidal thoughts were attributed to my home life.

Why does she expect me to instantly move on???? I'm not going to say things are alright, when they are not.

I will not lie to spare your emotions! The more I look inside myself, the more dysfunction I locate.

Growing up the way I did, was the whole reason Dear Bully and Crazy Self Therapy even exist!

#BlogLife421 - Male asmr artists, disarming or devilish??

I was getting ready for bed and either I'll watch asmr or some television show or movie to get me relaxed and tired enough to drift off peacefully.

I think that's why I've stopped watching a lot of television series because most seem to have this dark element and it stays inside my head for ages afterwards.

There's already too much negativity and scary thoughts about already, I don't need more, hence the preference for light and fluffy shows.

I had a worse than usual night's sleep. I kept waking up every few hours. My whole head seem to be aching, eyes, mouth.

I just couldn't stop rubbing my eyes, ooh that reminds me, I'll put some drops in.

My eyes aren't bothering me anymore and my headache seems to have disappeared but this way, hopefully my eyes will stay calmer for longer.

Anyway sometimes in the right hand side of Youtube are recommended videos and I like to sample some and see if it's to my taste.

I just find myself unfollowing a lot of asmr channels as they start off normal, sound effects to help you sleep or funny ramblings about their day.

Then all of a sudden it's sexual.....Ickity, ick or friends to lovers nonsense.

I have a lot of triggers that pull me into uncomfortability and that's one of them.

As nearly most or maybe all of them ended up sexually harassing me in some sort of way, without any encouragement.

A simple hug, would mean that my breasts were grabbed, my ass was touched or worse and my face was horrified.

They were always quick to make an empty apology, which I naively thought was genuine but then given the opportunity, would readily do it again!!

I cut ties with a lot of them immediately or after a while, due to this very issue.

I still don't understand why it continuously happened to me and when I spoke to female relatives and friends, none of them had my experiences at all!

That's why I like to have a line in the sand, friendship is platonic and relationships are touchy feely.

Over the years asmr has gotten broader and improved dialogue and I don't really have a preference between male or females......

However, some male artists are just too flirty and it's that upsetting balance between..

I was just getting used to you, feeling safe around you and now you're being an opportunist......Yuckity yuck!

The other thing that is really weird and I've started to come across it a lot...

Is male performers are trying to be comforting and make you feel safe but it's a bit tooo on the nose.

A complete male stranger is saying....... 

"Trust me, I'll never hurt you, I'll always be there. Close your eyes, you're safe."

Cringe!!!! 

"I know you have vulnerability issues but you're a strong person." 

It could be just me, with all the messed up interactions I've had, but somebody getting in my head is the opposite of soothing.

It just makes me think they are getting ready to pounce and that is nauseating!

It gives me a sense of danger and unease, why are they saying such intense things?

What's the end goal for them? I know you're wondering why I'm overthinking asmr but that's what pops into my head.

I would much prefer they limit it to a more generalised banter and quit being intimate.

Plus what is with all the shirtless asmr? Yeesh!

#BlogLife420 - Beat the clock with Ocado Zoom?

Ooh the update says it's 3 minutes away, not bad for a last minute, hour order. (10ish minutes in reality).

It's funny this service reminds me of the timed pizza orders, where they had to arrive within a certain time, or your meal was free and you silently wished they were late haha!!

The snows finally all melted away and it's been drizzling all morning.

It's still very cold, the thermostat room temperature was 16 degrees again.

I'm not feeling the best today and I needed to do a mini shop, as I'll be away Friday and was running low on a few essentials.

Ocado had sent me this offer for 30% off and free delivery for this zoom experience.

It's like a top up convenience shop that can be delivered supposedly at the quickest in an hour and so forth.

I know one of the delivery slots was £2.50, not sure what the hour slot was as I didn't pay for it, with the supplied offer codes.

I saved £15 so I'm pleased with that discount as otherwise I would have had to do a full shop and probably would have spent about £40-£50 instead of the £30, scratch that, it was actually £29.75 ha.

I just checked my email receipt. I basically got everything I needed, aside from the soup.

There was some in stock and I don't know if it's because my stomach is delicate but I wanted plain soup and all they had was chicken and noodles/vegetables and I feel like I literally wouldn't be able to swallow that and not feel sicky.

As the queasiness was hitting me pretty hard today for whatever reason. I don't know what sets it off, some days are fine and others just really bad.

I'm surprised they had the Shloer Rose in stock, that's just sparkling grape juice but at a higher quality so we always used to purchase that for special events or treats.

It's non alcoholic, so safe for everyone to drink but it's seems rare to find these days and I just fancied it.

I also saw Virtue Clean drinks, the lemon and lime was £1.10 on offer, it's usually £1.65.

The Virtue berries was £1.65. Hmm I just saw that it had the label "energy" attached to it and that usually means caffeine, please please please, don't have that.

Hmm according to googly woogly (that's just fun to say). It contains "natural caffeine" I'm not sure what the hell that is.

It's all in the taste though and I'll chuck it out if it's disgusting. I would have packed it but honestly at this point I am dreading holding all the bags for the lazy-refuse-to-get-out-and-help cab drivers.

There's my laptop bag with my laptop included obviously, my handbag, my overnight bag with clothes and chargers, electric toothbrush, face brush, makeup, creams..

And lastly my treat bag, with the excess fish I got from the supermarket and chocolates, cakes, pretzels for the family.

My hands hurt so badly trying to lift just one of those bags, let alone several and I have to walk from my door to the cab, where usually they park a lil further away from my house. Ugh!!!

I was shopping in a hurry so I just added things really quickly. Another nice surprise was that they do sandwiches.

I guess because it's an express service and no chance they will go off, they can do that, there was a meal day offer, add a snack and drink for 50p but I didn't see the link to that and I just wanted to hurry and get it delivered for the morning.

Oh you might wonder why I don't like caffeine? The stimulant in coffee/tea designed to keep you awake/alert??

I'm constantly trying to nap for one, I already have difficulty sleeping, that's not something I need in my life.

Secondly, every time I have it, I get the urge to vomit. I'm already sensitive so no thanks but to avoid wasting money, I shall try it.

To be fair, the sicky feeling has passed but it can just pop up randomly.

I have the 2 chicken samosas in front of me but not appetite to consume them. I'm just going to randomly sip my Shloer, yep opened it easily already, (thank heavens).

Ha the Amazon review I wrote about the heated blankie was published in full, astonishingly and the seller has already been in touch today, to troubleshoot and probably hopes I amend my trashy review.

10 minutes to heat up, my foot!!! More like all day!! I'm not sure I can be bothered to respond at the moment.

Plus Easy Fundraising replied to my comment in which they asked, why are you uninstalling the add on?

I simply stated....... "It doesn't work!!" That's fairly harsh I know but I wasn't in the mood to tread lightly.

They want me to elaborate but what more can I say?? That's fairly self explanatory.

I've tried it in several stores, Ebay, Ocado, Amazon I think as well, not sure if there were others but enough is enough.

I want something simple that actually does what it's supposed too. If I have to contact support, that's just bad service!

Oops forgot to add, there is live tracking but all it said was that it was running on time.

It was only when it was a few minutes away that it moved and it said oh it's running a few minutes behind.

Before that it just said we are preparing your order, which isn't really helpful.

I think I did get emails though to say it was despatched, I was just looking at the live tracking though, convinced it would give me all the information I needed.

#BlogLife419 - Amazon's faulty blankie saga

Yesterday I received the heated blankie £46 that I bought from Amazon and I was so relieved and pleased that I didn't think about what I would do if it turned out to be defective.

It came around 5pmish after the live tracking coming and going. I excitedly unpacked it and switched it on.

Only one side is fleeced and it's stiffer than I would have liked but the cord is extra long.

I never sleep at night with these things on, just take a daytime nap for safety reasons.

Most have the auto switch off but you always hear horror stories about them overheating and causing fires so I'm very careful and even before I bought one, people were trying to talk me out of it.

But cold is cold and my bones cannot get warm, with the warm clothes and the heating on, I'm still frozen.

The top setting on the control is supposed to be for the temperature and the bottom one for the duration, 1-9 hours but I think it automatically turns off after 3 hours as a precaution, which is fine.

I set it to the maximum heat and timer and waited and waited and waited.

Bits of the blankie wasn't at all warm. There was slight low warmth, in certain areas but then it came off, then on, then off and so forth.

I thought I was doing something wrong so I watched an Amazon video and nope, I was correct but it was just broken.

Maybe for some reason it was stuck on the lower warmth actions but it doesn't explain why it randomly goes off after a few minutes.

If you go on Amazon's live chat, there's no option to type, just automated non helpful responses.

If you try the phone service, it's another bot. The only way to get a human was to rant on Twitter and they just fobbed me off saying return it.

I can't do that. It's too damn excruciating to hold anything, let alone a huge box, all the way to the bus stop and then walk into the market and then queue up at the Post Office......

Nope!!! I don't even want to return it, as it gives the barest minimum of removing the chill and I have been struggling in this weather to function at all.

I really just want to stay in bed and not get up but I would start to get really depressed if I did that.

When I purchase things, I expect them to work 100%. I don't expect to have problems.

My legs and hands are ice cold. Ugh I can't be bothered to stress about this anymore.

Maybe I'll win a blankie or there'll be a voucher giveaway I can enter.

The only saving grace is that I wrote a scathing review on Amazon and that will prevent some other poor soul in buying this colossal piece of crap!!!

I wonder if they will even print my unflattering review...

#BlogLife418 - Mrs Santa and her goodies

Sorry, nope this isn't a Christmas story, I'm just excited about getting my gifts.

I'm writing this Friday to be posted on Monday. They said the Body order would take 1-3 days and it took 4 so that's pretty cool, considering it's Christmas and everyone is shopping like crazy.

I don't wanna spray the Jovan antiperspirant into the cap but from what I can sense, it's delightful.

It does smell like a proper aftershave. I'm not familiar with any of them except probably Brut or Old Spice so I can't go into specifics, I just know what I like and what doesn't seem generic.

The Addiction Gold aftershave is less pungent. It's quite faint. The cap smells sweet, cinnamon I think, liked baked goods, I'm not sure that will go down well.

But that's why I bought two things, one is bound to be acceptable and I don't even like the recipient but when I'm gifting people. I try to get something a lil special for them.

Hmm the Eye Mist Spray from Treat and Ease was a lil tricky, the first spritz did nothing and the second was a huge blast.

It was refreshing and a minty fragrance I think. I waited a few seconds to open my eyes and there was no stinging or unpleasantness.

It's feels like a whole face mist. My eyes don't feel itchy or tired just calm.

The Technic Lip Sleep Mask, (I really have to read the instructions on the best way to use these things ha).

I just get so excited to try them all out and see, what it scented and what feels luxurious..

It's like a solid balm, very bright pinky colour that smells of strawberries or some sort of fruit, which is lovely.

It was easy to scoop a lil and apply and I think it will take a while to really stop the chapping but it feels nice and sinks in easily so far.

I'll update you on the progress, later on. I don't think it's tinted but I can't really see properly when it's this dark.

In the morning, my lips are still dry but they aren't chapped, the balm seems to last a few hours. I really like it but it would be easier in a tube version, although tubs seem to soothe more..

I can't recommend it as an overnight treatment as it fades too quickly but it's so simple to reapply, unless you're asleep.

My lips aren't as dry as they were but they are still dry. However I would definitely purchase again for the lovely scent and the way it makes my mouth feel immediately upon application.

Lastly on to the creams. The Derma V10 is thicker than I thought it would be. It's not heavy and seems thin but it coats  the skin sorta heavily and hydrates it.

I've applied one layer but because my skin was excessively dehydrated, it's going to take a while to see the effect.

It's got a sweet, fresh scent to it, which I can't place but I always prefer scented over unscented.

Half my face feels softish but the rest is still dry, that's how bad my face is at the moment.

A few days later, when it's on my face, it's soft, when it's not, my face becomes really dry again.

Just like the lip balm, these are products that are great while you're using them but if not, don't provide a cure.

The L'Oreal Triple Active I thought would be a denser consistency but again when it's applied it feels substantial and a lil richer.

I can't give a proper review on this until the Derma finishes. I don't like using two products for targeted areas at the same time.

Unless it's for an initial review.

It's got an offbeat perfume smell. Perhaps my nose is affected with all these different smells.

It's not bad, just seems a lil strange. Oh the Beauty Formulas Hemp Cream.. 

I thought that was unscented but it too has an unusual fragrance, smells like dish soap...

It's thin and absorbent but I can't see that doing much good to my skin, I always need a thicker moisturising cream for my dry skin.

Hmm I have to say, I'm quite impressed at how deeply this penetrates my skin, it totally coats my elbows and they feel soft, hours later.

I would think twice about purchasing it, simply based on the horrible smell it produces. 

It ruins it for me with the cheap nasty, soapy fragrance.

Ahh I just realised another reason I stopped using moisturisers, it nearly always affects my lenses and eyes, the first time it didn't..

But after I removed my greeny mud mask and applied the cream again to try and get my skin softer, my eyes started twitching.

It's wasn't burning at first, it's just very uncomfortable and watering. I'm going to try that spray again and see if it helps.

If so I might be tempted to switch from the eye drops to the sprays... The spray does have a slight cooling effect.

But I am cringing so hard applying it and it's hit and miss as I can't see where I am directing it.

No the spray didn't help with the eyes, now they are kinda sore. I finally had to remove my lens and re-clean them and pop them back it as it was stinging.

I blame myself a bit though as I applied the cream to near my eyes and some probably got caught up on the lashes and went into my eyes

The next day my skin is back to being dry. I'm actually starting to wonder if it's the face wash...

To be safe I'm not going to buy the Creightons brand anymore. I don't think my face was this bad until I started using it.

It's a shame I don't have another one to compare it too. Now that I know the Derma10 is so good, I'll use that from now on.

It's great value for money. All these products had surprisingly low costs attached to them.

I guess it's crazy but because I'm limited to where I can buy groceries and what stores are nearby, there is not much choice really.

I'm not paying obscene prices so that's why I have to shop around online for the beauty stuff and it's always good to shake up the brands and give your skin a refresh.

Just because something doesn't cost as much, it's not always worse, it just depends on the brand.

I was going to buy another face wash but I don't want to waste the other one so I changed my mind and didn't get one.

I was tempted to do an Ocado shop with a deal I got but half the basket was out of stock ha.

I returned to trusty Iceland with the weak rubbish bags. I'm going to give the surplus back to Ocado as they will recycle any bags and pay you 10p each.

Before I forget. I've gotten the free vitamins that I ordered with the offer and have started taking them.

Multivitamins are not always useful to me. Cheaper brands have this pungent smell and taste and it makes me vomit.

Plus only Perfectil has ever made a difference. However as these were complimentary, I had to share the offer and sample them.

I opened the cap and it does smell of berries, my favourite. It tastes of them also and is easy to chew, not overly sweet and not sour.

It's simple to digest. I put pictures on twitter, to give you an idea and it's a whole months supply so in the middle of January I can tell you how they performed.

#BlogLife417 - The end of fleecey snuggles..

Today is a sad day. I woke up and unrolled my favourite (and only) fleecey, fake fur, silvery, shiny, cosy, mediumish blankie and it turned on and then died.

I guess that's why it wasn't working at full capacity the last few times but I didn't really think anything of it.

I've had it for 4 wonderful years, although it didn't seem that long and it's kept me toasty and took away my aches and pains and relaxed me into some wonderful naps.

I could not get warm at all, even though the heating was on. My bones are chilled. I'm going to take the heating off, only now at 10pmish as I didn't want to risk shivering again.

It cost me £28 which is a bargain because most prices are doubled and tripled that amount.

I do remember shopping around and then I got loads of deals and reductions and bought it quickly.

I wish it was bigger but that costs another tenner or twenty pounds extra.

I went back to the same store Costway but they didn't have any special offers, not enough to tempt me.

I had loads of Amazon credit that I was saving for any emergencies and just ended using that.

The postage costs were ridiculous at £5-£8 so I took out a free Prime trial ha to sneakily avoid that.

That's going to end on the 10th January but I usually cancel it way before that or depends if I have lots to buy.

The dimensions are 120x140cm and I don't know if that's bigger or smaller than the one I own..

It's the same silver colour with multiple settings on the controller. Oh I hope the wire is long.

That always tends to rub it's cold slitheriness against my legs or feet.

The big difference is that it isn't fleece or fake fur, it's just oops, sorry, re-read the description and it's something called Coral Fleece.

Hmmm it mentioned something about the four pockety corners but it doesn't look like a mattress cover type to me.

I should really read the descriptions properly but it was the biggest, most reasonable one I could find that also delivered really quickly.

It cost a whopping £46 to the mere £28 I had paid for the first one.

However I'm not using my own cash, it's gift vouchers and in my head I would knock off £8 because that would have been the postage cost.

So really it's only £10 more haha. If it lasts me another few years I'll be really happy.

I think it will come up small on me. I just didn't want to pay £60+. I was hoping it would be £30 but sometimes you have to compromise.

You probably wonder why I add a lot of strange details to my posts.

Honestly sometimes I have to reference something and I come back to it for the answers ha.

I do like adding specifics though. Maybe it helps you or possibly you're curious..

If I remember before I toss out the old blankie, I'll try for some comparison pictures.

But it's a busy week so I'm not sure. I really wanted it delivered Monday, I wish Prime had slots, so you could pick Mornings or Afternoons.

I'm just glad it's Wednesday now and it's out for delivery but due to the snow in the UK everything is delayed.

At first it said 2.30 and now it's sating 4pm - 7pm. They deliver up until 9pm so not sure what happens after that.

Probably have to wait until tomorrow but I am so hoping I don't have to spend another day freezing.

I would have posted this earlier but I was hoping it would have arrived in the morning.

Either I'll update this post or will start a new one on how it performs.

Dictator emailed with with something irrelevant, I'm not sure how many times I can say I have to limit my actions due to my disabilities.

Maybe he just hears the word *disability* and thinks, hmm that's not real so I'll gloss over that..

I knew that his eyes were burning into me, when I advised that fellow disabled person not to do the stairs.

Like he was biting his tongue, to say Crikey woman, keep quiet, keep out of this, us healthy, young able bodied advisors, are tooooo lazy to walk down 3 flights of stairs, so let me deal with this!!!

He is such a plum!!!! OOh did I mention, on Monday, I finally got my spare contact lenses??

Woop I'm pleased. I've put them away in my cosmetic bag, it's the only place where it won't get lost, weirdly enough.

#BlogLife416 - It hurts to be me...

I do try to maintain a good mood but sometimes I get kicked into reality when even sitting down hurts.

Today was alright but then just standing for a minute just felt like my legs were breaking.

I was kept waiting and I practically screeched... Look I need to sit down, the pain is unbearable.

I literally had tears in my eyes and my voice broke, it was that bad.

I have to lean on walls or pillars, just to brace myself up. I don't need crutches but I do get wobbly.

I do still feel dizzy and stumble quite a bit. The cold weather and existing pains that are not being treated directly with the heat is starting to get to me.

I can feel the stiffness coming on and I would love to nap but it's just not coming.

I know that tomorrow when the heated blankie replacement arrives, the naps will return.

I don't ever crawl into bed to nap. I find it too difficult to get back up. It's too cosy so what I do is sprawl on the bed, cradle my head and drift off that way.

Much easier to rouse myself and feel healed and rested, that way.

No real excitement today, still snow on the ground, still freezing. I wore one of the new tops, the fancy black and white, it's gorgeous.

I never thought I'd wear white again but even be a plus sized femme fatale, if certain clothes are beautiful and the fit is right, I'm totally comfortable in it.

And this was a good fit, not overly baggy, not tight, didn't hug in the wrong places.

I really love the trousers I bought, that 2 for £15, I just looked it up and it's a polyester blend, no wonder it's so warm.

I didn't feel the chill on my legs at all, it was just my face and neck.

The socks and fur lined booties helped with the chill as well. I am shivering, even though the heating is on.

I never really noticed before but the market had the most beautiful thick fleecey blankets/throws in big sizes.

Not the heated kind, my heavens, my hands are shaking from the cold.

I can't believe, out of all the places, the market had the different stunning colours, reds, golds, beiges.

It looked so soft. I desperately wanted to buy it but I know, tearfully, I couldn't carry it.

My hands were at the breaking point with the other shopping. I think I got carried away with the treats but it is Christmas.

I don't know if I'll eventually buy one, I'm scared about how heavy it seems. I've been pricing around heated and non..

The fleecey ones are expensive. I doubt I would find one for that price range to get delivered £8-£10.

I guess I will see after Christmas. I sure could do with it now, I can't stop shaking.

Our family has a weakness for nutty chocolates so in my favourite international market, I saw something I had never seen before.

Ha the familiar brand names like Ferreros were £6!! I thought love those but I'm not paying that price.

Even when I can afford it, I'm still careful with money. I want it to stretch for a long time.

Anyway I saw some peanut chocolates, individually wrapped in a cute bag for £2 and the Ferrero knock offs, Happy Time for £1.40.

It's just for munchies, when watching Christmas movies. It's not ideal but i've laid my jacket out and will curl up underneath that brrr.

It's really difficult having to do things for myself but I make do as best as I can.

Sorry no chocolate reviews until after Christmas as they are presents.

#BlogLife415 - Icy dic-tator

Happy Monday!!

Not sure why I'm starting the post like that either but it's been a day and then some and it's only 1pm.

Why do I only remember to browse for thick women's nightshirts at the end of the Year.

I saw a really cute long thick red one but it's sold out and now discontinued, boo. It was just £11 arghh!!

I got to keep looking but not sure I want to order anything here, might get it delivered to mama's.

I honestly can't believe it snowed and stayed on the ground, normally it's a light dusting and then by the next day, it's vanished or it's slush.

But this was trekking through inches of snow, I actually thought my boots were going to come off, it was that deep.

I got ready an hour early for Dic-tator, the hair didn't set right, so ponytails it was and now I'm back home, the curlers are going to be left in for a few hours to fix it.

Anyway good job I set off early as the buses aren't running on time and I would have been late again.

I love overhead headphones, my ears are never cold as I use them as earmuffs.

But I digress, guess who calls me....? I can barely hear him but I answer and he says, are you going to show up today???

Would it have killed him to say.. "Listen *insert name here* It's snowing, it's freezing, why don't we have a phone appointment??"

But Nooooo, instead he's trying to have a meeting on the phone and still wanting me to arrive promptly ffs!

I just said I'm my way and could you see me earlier and he agreed.

What made me laugh, aside from mine and everyone else's Penguin walks through the snow, is that the meeting again took a few seconds.

But.......What was really fascinating, was someone else was disabled and had a frustration with the lift being broken and he was going to make her, climb the stairs, like a ........

Anyway, I stepped in, proudly talking over him and said, I call them and make them come down to see me, just do that as I'm disabled also and do not do stairs.

Only then, did he say, Umm, let me speak to whoever you are due to see and have them meet you down here!!

You prejudiced so and so!!! You're not going to make me swear today!!

Hopefully that's the last meeting for the year, he didn't mention the next one and I didn't ask.

I'm gutted that Amazon don't do flexible timed deliveries even with a free Prime trial. 

I can't risk the neighbours getting a hold of it, so one more meeting tomorrow morning and then Wednesday it will be delivered as I'll be home.

Ooh I just polished off the Yo Sushi salmon and avocado rolls, that was delicious and fulling.

6 inside and it was £4 originally but I paid £2.40. It had crispy onions with it and I'm not sure how you're supposed to mix it but I didn't, will save it for something else, very tasty though.

The teriyaki sauce in a sachet, I didn't like. Sushi is hit and miss and honestly, the only time I seem to like it, is not from the restaurant sorry but it's from the supermarket, it's just seasoned better.

I love that some had avocado included but I didn't really taste it, except for in one of them.

I'm not a fan of tuna and I think the chicken katsu one had either pork or something else I didn't fancy, else I would have loved to try it.

I also bought that Cadbury's bar again and some scratchcards for the family.

When I remember to get them, it's probably the only time in the year that I do, just for some silly excitement.

I don't play the lottery, I think that's a waste of money, but scratchcards are a lil more entertaining.

Oh something I've been craving but having since is macaroons and not that dry biscuity type.

I mean proper cakey macaroons. I prefer Tesco originals but I only saw Mrs Crimbles chocolate drizzle coconut types, that will have to do for the family as well.

I'll see what other biscuits or ooh I know, I'll get the Ferrero knock offs, everyone will love that.

I'm still freezing, the heatings turned up but I miss my blankie :(

Soon my pretty, just have to get through today and tomorrow and then Wednesday, my snuggly baby will be home.

#BlogLife414 - Mademoiselle speaker over to you...

Today wasn't as hectic maybe because I was up earlier and got a jump start, no naps sadly but maybe it's just as well, that it is helping me to tire out earlier.

I had time so I just finished charging the new speaker in flashy red.

It's called the Braven mini and it supposedly had 1900mah battery life, equal to 12 hours of playback and Bluetooth version 5.0 but it's not confirmed, it isn't stated anywhere that I could see.

First I had fun trying to locate where to put the usb c wire inside to charge it, you peel back a tab and it's hidden there at the base.

A red light came on but I wasn't sure if that mean't it was dead or charged but a few hours later, the light came off.

Hmm that was a slow charge!! I do love the reddy/plum colour though.

Alright just paired it with the laptop, the pairing name is BRV Mini and it was all set.

It has this funnily lil musical number when it's switched on and connecting, makes me laugh.

It is loud!! Whoa!! I'm satisfied, I got it as my laptop speakers are too low when playing movies with others around, talking, background noises etc.

When it's me by myself they are adequate. It's designed to be used outdoors, that's why it has a long battery life and is quite sturdily built.

I personally just like electronics that last for ages on a single charge. I'll pair it with the phone, just to see if it's just as easy.

Initially there are no problems. I will test it properly when I am away from home and see if it stays on or just randomly switches off, as some bluetooth products like to do grr.

Yikes I had a crazy morning. I wrote this yesterday so it's all a bit, over the place.

Firstly dictator calls when I'm eating breakfast. Finally but I didn't see/hear it because I forgot to put the volume up.

I normally mute it late in the evenings as I don't generally want to be disturbed and especially if I forget to take it off and someone rings while I'm asleep, that irritates me to no end.

I'm not going to call him back, for some reason he never answers when I do anyway so screw that.

It's like he gets offended when I use his personal number, but he's allowed to use mine. Pffft!!!

He has email,text, so when he tries again, I'll be mysteriously available but until then I'll be busy ha..

I'm still not over that.... Being dismissed over being four minutes late bit!!

As I was checking my emails I noticed that EE had said my bill is here and it's been paid.

I always frequently check my bank balance to see if it's normal, as sometimes there are scams or unusual amounts paid out.

If you recall I recently switched from BT to EE and she said my new bill would be £15.30 each month with the complimentary A13 phone.

That was on the 24th October and I got my first proper bill today which had me outraged.

As EE gouged me on delivery costs £7 and then early contract costs, oops actually no, thank goodness I didn't have to pay that.

Which is good as that would have been the first time and EE and BT are supposed to be the same merged company in any case.

What was strange is the doubled amount billing, it was £30.60!!

I immediately thought Oh no, I've been scammed and will be paying twice as much, locked into a contract for 2 years.

Again if I attempted to close my account, they would charge me 2 years worth of payments.

I queued up and waited 5/10 minutes, (always best to call in the mornings) and spoke to a nice operator who explained that the reason it was doubled was it contained 2 months worth of payments.

But from January onwards it would be relegated back to £15.30 which is the strangest thing I've ever heard.

Although she did add, every April it increases by a few pounds. Grr, the cheek!

I joined at the end of October (24th), they should have charged 1 month and a half or just 1 month lol.

But I'm relieved that's just a one off cost and not for the length of the contract, that had me soo worried.

My broadband and landline phone is £30, so altogether it's £45 which isn't that bad.

I was paying £50 and upwards before, which means I'm saving more than I thought.

A nice extra fiver. Oooh I'm excited my Bodycare order with hermes is out for delivery from 3.30pm - 5.30pm.

I can't wait to test, test, test and write reviews next week.

#BlogLife413 - Seemingly exotica (but not really)..

The latest random reminded me that I have a cant-quite-pinpoint accent and he's not the first to say that.

Maybe one or two or none of you listened when I did a recording of my voice for a milestone blog reward.

It's makes me laugh because I've had strange comments, when they try to guess and are flummoxed when I reply...

Nope, nope, nope, I have travelled a bit but not long enough to pick up a native tone.

To me it's just a typical UK dialect. It's not posh or common. 

It's in-between, the way we should be represented in American movies.

When I'm in a giving rare moment, I'll do it again.

Ugh the tracking hasn't updated for Hermes. I was tempted to get a moisturiser from Ocado but I have to be patient. 

I did another shop with them because I wanted certain things Iceland seems to be unable to give me.

The second time around, it's definitely pricier but the quality really is high.

I've collected the bags and I'll just hand them back to the driver.

There's been no fake winning competition notifications which I'm happy about..

But my twitter is starting to get full of sleazy and scam messages.

I don't know where they are coming from but I'm gonna block and report all of them now, getting too much.

Oh I decided to try another face fix. I have some face scrub and I used it with the face brush and it didn't really work.

Although my right cheek feels normal and left is like cardboard :(

I know it needs a deep layer of face cream but it has to wait.

Somebody remind me next year to stock up on creams for December, nearer the time lol.

I finally gave myself half a manicure. I chopped my nails short but couldn't be bothered to file them.

I'll do it tomorrow and finally did the protein treatment for my rgp hard lenses.

All that entails is adding tiny tablets to my lens case with the lenses in, soaking overnight.

You can use saline or storing solution but this is for hard lenses only.

What it does is remove the protein coating on the lenses, which can cause fogginess, irritation, blurriness etc.

As you cry or your eyes water, you're dripping protein on the lenses which over time cause problems.

Monthly I like to use the pills and deep clean them and after I don't really feel the lenses in my eyes much, except when tired or there's an eyelash or grit stuck.

Hmm I wonder if the spare lenses will arrive this weekend before the next strike day..

I've shaped my nails so that they look tidy now and do remember if you're doing the protein lens treatment to really douse your lens as in the morning all the liquid is usually gone.

Yay my Hermes gifts tracking is finally progressing, the next step is out for delivery, which won't be today but I'm still hoping it's tomorrow or Saturday at the latest..

I've just tried out Highland Spring pear and elderflower sparkling water for £1.62.

It's sugar free and was half price, yikes these prices are astronomical!! 

It's 4x 330ml cans and I find elderflower is hit or miss for me. This drink had a faint taste of pears and the bitterest aftertaste which I'm not sure if that is to do with the brand or the elderflower but ickity.

I will not be buying it again. I've found with some waters, the sourness just lingers on the tongue and it's horrible.

I only bought it as it was on special offer. Oh the free vitamins offer has now been despatched.

I got an email today saying Royal Mail will be delivering it, so that's going to take a while with the strikes in place.

#BlogLife412 - Morning chill

I know I know, technically it's the afternoon but I'm still on morning time. I didn't have the greatest sleep.

I kept waking every few hours for some reason. I did try and go to bed early but it just didn't take.

I did get blocks of sleep though maybe that's why I feel alright. I have to try and stop scratching my face and near my eyes but it still feels soo icky.

It's a strange thing that happens. I wake up, wash my face and I feel it and it seems back to it's normal smoothness and then probably five minutes later, it's back to it's horrible roughness.

I can't wait for the treats to arrive, tracking hasn't moved much, it's not with Hermes yet but it's the busy season so I might not get it this week after all.

We'll see. I'm sorry that the Christmas theme/template didn't work out, I saw a bunch and got excited but two hours later, nothing panned out.

They just didn't look good or didn't display correctly so they were unusable. If I get a temporary new one I'm not sure if it will be festive..

I'll keep searching but it's hard to get free ones and then I have to edit them and remove repeated bits and get rid of the labels as I hate how that looks.

The Twitter feed was lost and I've forgotten how to replace that, I know it's a simple thing and I'll google it at some point but for now I have other things to do.

I don't think I can finish any stories. After I complete all my daily tasks I'm exhausted, I mean mentally as well as physically and I need some energy to write.

As I've said before, BlogLife writes itself so that's easy and takes no effort so it's more doable than composing stories.

I was thinking today about family and boundaries. At a certain point I saw relatives in an unflattering light and that was a sad day as I had always given them the benefit of the doubt.

Now I barely talk to any of them. I think it's just the ongoing disrespect, they treated my niceness as though I were a fool and I hate that.

One such example is when I stopped talking to my older brother and the cousins kept asking continuously how he was doing and what he was up too...

He was their favourite because he was just as snarky and falsely confident as they were so he fit in to their clique.

I know that I wasn't sure of myself or outspoken but I always tried to be helpful and polite.

Anyway I got increasingly angry and frustrated when they hammered me about his well being.

Eventually I just said.. "Look I don't talk to him, you know this, if you want to know how he is, contact him directly and find out for yourself and stop asking me."

As they always without fail acted surprised at my reaction, when I had been repeating the same speech!!

Their so-called innocent response was always..... "Well I was just making small talk and asking."

Ugh but they knew I had a fractured relationship with him and yet pleaded ignorance just because they all had close knit bonds with their siblings.

I mean that's great for you and I freely admit I was jealous as hell, to have that nurturing healthy interaction and someone that looked out for you.

I tried to reach a numerous amount of my cousins but they just didn't see me in a good light, they were hyper critical of everything I said and did so it wasn't a good atmosphere for my psyche.

I guess it just reminds me of Dictator (who has been weirdly silent for a week and a half now).

He routinely asks about my health but it's not a caring enquiry at all, it's a habitual question.

If I ask you how you are today? I care about what your answer is and my reaction will go according to that.

When I tell the truth and say, I'm really hurting today, I feel dizzy or sore or whatever.

His face is shocked with surprise............ "Really???? Sorry to hear that!!"

He knows I'm poorly but it's the mock sincerity and he's the one that causes me pain in the first place.

I would rather he just not be fake or sarcastic or whatever it is he's doing and just get on with the appointment and discuss my progress.

While I was putting on my lenses another memory popped into my head, I don't think I've shared this one, forgive me if I have..

My friends and I were going to a club, I was probably in my early twenties and looking trim.

I was probably a size 12/10. Clothing sizes vary on what stores you go into.

I had a favourite one that was in the market and on certain days there was new stock and some of it was ridiculously cheap.

I genuinely used to stick to dark colours but occasionally lighter ones, depending on the style and it flattered me.

I didn't have anything new to wear so I was browsing around in a few places.

Yeesh back then I had boundless energy and flitted from here to there, determined to get a good deal.

The only thing that was remotely appealing and fit me superbly well was this plain white dress and I didn't wear white all that often.

But it looked amazing on me and white is unforgiving! I don't know how I recall this but it was just £6 and I couldn't get over, how great this deal was.

In the end after ummming and ahhhing and asking everyone if I should get in and them exhaustedly saying...... Yes if you like it, go for it!!

I snapped it and then hunted for a shrug or top, something to go over my wobbly arms which I hardly ever showed off.

No matter how many workouts I did, I never had toned arms. A flat tum back then but arms nope lol.

I went to another place and I think I negotiated a price reduction as it was this beautiful lace white long shrug, that would enhance my plain dress.

I think it was just under £20 but I probably paid about £15. I was laughing because this beautiful thing cost more than my dress!!

Anyway the two together looked stunning. I was a fox!! I think I put silver/white sparkling nail polish on and put my hair in sections, separated with white snap clips that held it in place.

To finish off, it was clear body glitter around the eyes and neck. White mascara and white eyeshadow, against caramel skin, looked flawless!!

I just don't remember the shoes. I doubt I had white, so it was probably black court shoes, which were my favourite style.

I remember being so proud because that was one of the few times, I styled my hair prettily where it stayed and it looked cute,

Normally it was a horror show lol. It would start straight and then half curl, or flatten and have no volume.

I don't think it was a huge group but we went inside and I didn't realise that I would be a glow in the dark mascot ha.

Everybody in white, for whatever reason was glowing, so I joked anybody lost, could just look for me.

I recall this one male friend had latched on near me and I thought it was strange as he had confessed he liked my friend and I never saw him in a romantic light.

I kept encouraging him to go dance with her and he said No, no maybe later and I never understood why until years later when he said, that night, you looked so good, I found you attractive.......

And I thought........ Ummmm..... Hmmm.... That's weird as I didn't think you saw me in that light.

He was a good looking chap but I just didn't have those feelings for him.

It's funny though, everytime it was late, I always made him walk or drive me home, haha!!

He always grumbled and said it's just around the corner and I said I don't care, do your duty as a man, protect me bahahaha!!

I don't think I was scared, I think I just wanted company to walk home so I wouldn't be bored *sly grin*

You know a thought just popped into my head. I had a few male acquaintances that turned into friends but the lines always seemed to get blurred.

I realise I wanted some safe male role models around me, to prove that some men could be decent and not frighten me.

But either they assumed I was crushing on them or they touched me inappropriately or they flirted with me and that wasn't what I sought.

In the end I gave up on trying to find any male friends. I felt too creeped out. The amount of times I was groped, in the guise of a hug...... Was just disgusting!!

#BlogLife411 - 1 gift for you 2 for me..

I can't wait until Christmas is over and I can go back to saving. Just kidding it's fun to spoil people!!

I don't know if you want me to mention stores or not, you might think I'm getting kickbacks but if you look at my online presence.

I'm in the minor leagues so no compensation for me, I just like reading reviews, they help me out a lot so I in turn like to assist others if I can.

I discovered a new site called Bodycareonline.co.uk and it seemed to have a good variety of products from scents to skincare so I thought I would order from there.

Boots the chemist is too pricey and Superdrug isn't that cheap either.

I don't know how I forget that December always messes up my face and leaves it exceedingly dry, every other month, I can get away with not using a moisturiser but this month punishes me.

I can't recall which face creams are my favourites so I bought a whole bunch of skincare to try.

Mama said she could do with another Gel oil, so I got her Calypso dry oil to be used on wet or dry skin and that is super hydrating.

I'm waiting for the last minute to give the giftcard and cash. I'm gutted that Malibu were doing a trio of flavoured lip balms but sold out arghh.

Those must have been great quality but perhaps not. I have never ever heard of a sleep lip mask.... Have you??

I'm guessing it's an overnight treatment to stop your luscious lippys from chapping, mine are bone dry, no matter how much I apply lip balm.

This will be an interesting experiment. I'll really try my best to add some good quality pictures on Twitter.

I'm unsure whether I have sampled Derma V10 collagen 50ml moisturiser before but as it was a £1 I had to grab it.

I also got the L'Oreal triple active 50ml for £3.50 as a backup because I think that's a thick heavy cream that sinks in and heals skin.

That's the cheapest price I've seen it, normally £4ish in other places.

I did want to try Kamil hand cream, the internet seem to be littered with good reviews but that was out of stock also booo :(

I settled with Beauty Formulas hemp 100ml cream for £1 which seems great value for money but it depends how it performs.

I'll mostly be using it on my cracked elbows from where I lean on them constantly to type, hand creams work well or body butters are even better, only if they are thick though.

If it's thin, it just doesn't do anything, it needs to be dense to sink into the layers and deeply repair the damage.

Again gift wise, I got Jovan musk deodorant which I think is an aftershave scent and hopefully it smells nice.

I've not heard of it before it was £2.59 for 150ml. Plus I saw Addiction Gold eau de toilette 50ml for just £1.59!!

These are insane prices, I scooped it up quickly before they sold out. I'll just add them together to make a cute giftset.

If you purchase the actual bundles they are overpriced for the exact same products.

Make your own lil selection of goodies and either you can get a cute tote bag or a cheap toiletry bag to tuck them into and save yourself a small fortune!

I've never heard of that either but everything I bought had great reviews so hopefully they'll be fantastic quality.

Lastly I've been seeing eye mists around for ages, it's supposed to be soothing for tender eyes but the prices have been ridiculously high.

This is the first time I've seen it reasonable so I had to get it. £1 for 15ml Treat and Ease is the make which I am unfamiliar with.

A lot of interesting testing is coming up. The Technic lip mask is £2 by the way.

I'm not thrilled about paying the £3.75 postage but apparently it's trackable with Hermes in 1-3 days so at least that will give me peace of mind, that the neighbours won't steal it.

I also didn't like they didn't have a low-high sorting order and it always displayed out of stock items, which confused me.

If you spend a whopping £30 then you get free postage but that's too expensive, I only wanted to grab some gifts and creams and I was done.

Have you finished your Christmas shopping, assuming you even celebrate it?

Are you waiting to snap up the last minute special offers? Or did you do it all ages ago and have hidden them around the house lol?

Ooh this morning I checked my email and it was ready to be despatched, I have the tracking number for Hermes and it's a 2 day delivery service, sweet.