#BlogLife1100 - Birthday retail gifts

I forgot to add, Mama tasted the Polish fudge, nice but her favourite is still the waxy bon bons brand. At least she didn't hate it and it's convenient to pop in her bag and share or take to places..

I've decided to get the things on my shopping list, while I'm at Mama's she's treated me to some and I've insisted on paying for most..

I've got the silver slippers, so cute and soft and fluffy. I've seen a purple eyeshadow glitter palette and got that for £4.

I've seen two gorgeous skirts for £13 each, but a pound discount. I hope they fit, it's the first design I've loved that wasn't boring..

Plus 2x foundations £3.60 for a 40ml tube is great value. I'll try and take some pictures, if they arrive while I'm here.

Plus we got some food and drinks to try, Rana's chicken ravioli and Volvic cherry flavoured water.

A makeup bag for £2.50 as mine is ruined with a leaking something..

I didn't like the cherry Volvic, too sweet and artificial tasting, I mixed it with a vimto ice lolly, ha, much nicer.

We had fish and chips today, cod and a cod roe, fresh but the chips were a tad overdone.

I feel horribly bloated today and yesterday so it's a bit unpleasant.

Not a great night's sleep, cobbled together 5 hours altogether, at least it's something..

Everything is taking ages to get despatched but I'm not in a hurry, just eager.

I'm most excited about the skirts, apparently super long, not great for a shortie, under 5ft6..

Eventually I also need another pair of ankle booties and a duvet/quilt but that can wait.

There's another maintenance appointment due to repair the wall, but I'm not at home and they've had months to arrange it so I'm not rushing back for it.

Oh something else that was new, Tesco had a greek style chicken sandwich filler, mayonnaise, onion, chicken, tomato, yoghurt, mint and dill..

Pretty nice, I toasted a wholemeal roll with it but I thought it would have had a stronger flavour, more dill needed but tasty.

I don't normally have brekkie but I didn't eat much yesterday, due to the bloat, so I was really hungry today.

Ooh two parcels just came, one, horribly packaged, it's falling out..

I had a peek, as I was curious if it was one of mine. I've left the other one in case it's a birthday gift for her..

But the open one was Lindor hazelnut truffles, we are not fans ha, we like crunch and dabble with the dark chocolate, once it's tasty...

I wonder who sent it? She'll think it was me, but nopey...

One thing grating on me, I know it's not my place but the daily loudspeaker calls with her youngest, the one that reported me and tried in vain to send me to jail....

All because we refused to pay him off, for squandering his inheritance....... From both my parents..

Everytime I hear his unrepentant voice, I just want to vomit. NO conscience, no guilt, mentioning my name, as though, everything is forgiven....

I would happily dance on his grave... So when she mentions both, I have zero interest, I tune her out because she has no sensitivity, to what I feel.

And I just swallow the disrespect and anger, while I am able...... But oof the day it finally comes out.....

It will all come out and then I might just disappear for a bit to calm down and say I need a break, because at that point, I don't think I'll care about her dismissive response..

I'll be too relieved it's out, I've spoken the truth about life and why I am, the way I am.

No trust, no connections to others and always having to watch my back and be secretive and distant..

Plus, the plummeting confidence levels, why I don't date, all of it..

But for now, I can keep it to myself..