#BlogLife1051 - Understimulated

Although there is a lot that annoys me about 7 Cups, the  censorship, lack of support etc..

The one thing I do enjoy from the members and Listeners are the discussions about a variety of topics.

It could be lighthearted or really deep and meaningful and it really tickles my brain to have to think about what I'm sharing.

Plus people add things, you don't necessarily think about so it's thoroughly interesting to read it all and get involved.

But in the back of my mind, now I'm always thinking, Oh is this going to stay up, or will it be removed??

Although the randoms have their uses, for entertainment purposes, there's not a whole lot of serious discussions around.

My brain feels neglected sometimes. I will enjoy it while it lasts and I haven't seen many insults.

There are some disagreements but mainly I find myself agreeing with them because it's an assumption or a narrow view.

I'm enjoying lifting people up but I am still getting pms and I don't whether I should officially write on my profile I'm on hiatus because what if UC logs on and sees it?

I'm always mindful of not being free to be myself and make my own decisions.

Enough talking, I have to make brekkie wraps, maybe no fish today, chicken or steak maybe?

The Iceland wholemeal wraps are bland but durable, the other one had a lil more flavour. Meh I still miss rotis.

Oh yea I'm still stumped, my face continues drying out, so as well as the Blink drops, something else is causing it?

Well just spoke to Mama about meeting on Tuesday and she says she's too swamped....

This was her idea to meet ha but I'm relieved. It's already going to be busy with the UC on Monday and then the maintenance on Friday.

Back home from the UC meeting, uneventful, he just said update the rent costs when you can, I don't blame you, you are trying your best.

I don't know why my stomach is churning, I feel sick, I can barely stand.

I bought apple and orange juice, that's not helping. I am listening to binaurals, that's not working.

The food arrived and I don't really have an appetite to face it. I bought pakoras, they are ok..

I still don't understand how they can be called onion bhajis and pakoras.

Two different flavours, with different ingredients ha. Oh well but what will save the day, included in the bag is a mild mint raita, which is tasty.

Plus a mildly spiced ketchupy burger sauce, which is also quite nice.

I know I'm not big on spice but when it's flavoursome, then it appeals to me, but in small doses.

I also bought an egg burger and a chicken doner, why did I buy so much?

I thought I would be hungry, that's why but I'm not. Oh and chicken samosas too.

Plus cashews and those dil crisps and more of those eclair cupcakes.

I would have liked to browse more but it was so difficult standing and trying not to vomit.

Yeesh well at least I have food for 2x days. It will make it easier when I'm upright, especially if I still feel sick tomorrow.

All I want to do is lie down. Oh I was running early but the sun was blinding and I couldn't see the bus number, usually they stop, this one raced by...

But I just made it on time with the second bus. Crazy stuff. No jacket but three layers of clothing, was just right.

It's windy and sunny in the UK at present. I'm still getting used to the sunglasses making everything look black and white.

At least I can see clearly with them on, not the buses but everything else.

Am I going to feel better if I eat properly? Hmm, not convinced! No didn't work, I can't force myself to eat.

Kinda peckish but even though it's 1pmish, my tum is acting as though it's full of food and I haven't eaten a thing.

Well not much, mostly just sipping orange juice. I need to take off my makeup too.

This would be the perfect time for a nap, if I was really tired but it's body tired, not brain tired and it has to be both.

Ugh that jerk (RM). I can't unsee his name now because as well as stalking my friends comments and posts.....

Now he's latched onto mine and I want to tell him to take his abusing, bullying self away but I can't.....

He hasn't been nasty to me and I'm not supposed to know his true nature because it was told in confidence!

I may not be able to call him out, but neither will I engage. Treat people with respect, it's really not difficult!

Maybe in turn, they will want to be around you. Instead of avoiding you.