#BlogLife900 - 64p Bag me, I'm yours - Anniversary edition 900th post/Early birthday present

I should do something fancy for the anniversary posts, perhaps I'll sneak something in later.

I scoured a few places for a replacement handbag, on Amazon some has caught my eye, right size, right colour, could be the right price?

It's an ouchy £27 but it's on a double sale, plus if they give me free Prime and I redeem the gift vouchers, I think I'll pay maybe a fiver or maybe free if that code they sent me is still valid..

Not bad for brand name, vegan leather and cute to boot. I like the slouchy or the messenger style type with a really long strap.

I had that bag Mama gave me for years, maybe 3 or 4? It held up really well and then today the zips have all busted up, no security for my purse and oyster card so that has to go.

Mama said it was longer maybe six years? Hmm not sure, to me it doesn't seem that long but it was very durable.

I tend to go for a boring black, simple but I want something different, a red or a purple, nothing bright just toned down or darker in shade.

My bag was too small for all the crap that was in it, makeup, tissues, sunnies, purse, phone, hand sanitizer, ooh blimey, I have to get more of those soon,

I don't like casual looking bags, I prefer they look smart, it doesn't have to look premium but I have to like the look of it.

I don't want to pay more than £15 ha. The reviews are good too, that helps and the range of colours.

Blue is tempting but I want something feminine as a treat as my birthday will be here in a while and I don't celebrate but around this time, I want something pretty, just for me to enjoy, just to have that selfishy self indulgent moment.

To treat myself to something I crave that noone really does for me, so no guilt for doing it for myself.

On the other hand, I'm not crazily spending an obscene amount either, sensible to the core.

I wasn't even sure if BlogLife would hold up really. I was sooo lost.

I thought the goal was to be a popular sensation, beloved my many, comments galore, reads galore, fascinating back and forths and of course a bazillion followers.

It took me a while to realise success is measured in different ways, just because I'm overlooked in the blogging realm too, it doesn't mean what I have to say doesn't matter.

I'm just reaching a smaller audience than most and I can live with that now.

It doesn't mean I'm bad, it means most have different tastes, they want the flashy picturey, more bolder presences with personal details aplenty.....

Not so much an anonymous reserved fem who is not chirpy. I never want to hide who I am but at the same time, it wouldn't be me if I suddenly said.....

My name is.........I live exactly..........My ethnicity is....... I like a bit of mystery.

I like that most of the time, I can have a giggle and pretend it's just a regular catchup conversation, that I want to include you in my life, not just be the centre of attention and make it, me me me.

Although that has it challenges also. I try to vary the themes. I know what I say won't appeal to every single reader.

I don't want to cater to those that only like the stories or fiction or to those that only like it when I'm angry, I mix and match, my mood flows continually.

I was only intending to start this, yet it may nearly be done..

Oops that purple colour is not purple, it's brown. I have to repick, not green, not blue, not brown and definitely not black.

I think pink is the nicest shade, aside from the white and beige but I don't want a white bag, it would mess up too easily.

Heavens I can't believe I found the Amazon code, a fiver off a £15 spend, hopefully it will work, which means the bag might cost less than a pound?

Here is hoping, maths was never my thing..... Ha, bargain though :) I shall put pictures up on Twitter.

Oh well it's not completely free but with Amazon's triple discount and my gift card, 64p I can afford to be charged, woop.

I just redeemed the other gift card and got it. I thought I would wait a week for it as for once Prime didn't say, have a free trial... Meanies ha!

But nope they said we'll post it tomorrow, so it's due (Wednesday).

Well it just arrived, despatched at 5am, out for delivery 11am and got here just before 3pm, tracking said a few stops, 3 stops earlier buzz buzz it's already here.

At first I thought they sent me the wrong shade all I see is white and I'm thinking noooooo but it was just the light packaging, so glad it wasn't overstuffed.

It's a Roulens, not designer but a brand name, affordable fashion accessories.

I've never heard of them, I just like what I like. First impressions, nice colour, lighter than I wanted but it's not boring.

It's soft and the insides are plush, lots of compartments and the perfect size to fit my bulky purse and phone and more, woop.

The gorgeous detailed strap is what hooked me, it is stunning and that is the key for me, something to make it bold and stylish.

The only thing that let's it down and makes it look cheap, the main zipper, the end bit hangs off like it was ripped off or not sewn in properly.

That just ruins the aesthetic, turns a premium bag into a semi tacky one but it's not that noticeable and it's not a deal breaker. I just hate that bit.

Overall though I'm so happy with it, it might look ordinary but the straps I've never seen anything like that before.

Aside from the zipper bit and I put a picture up on Twitter (@SleeplessScrib1), to me it's more like a £60 item, not a £30ish and certainly not a 64p deal.

I had a bit of a yucky morning, really bad cramps, but I slept off and on and now sipping water.

I played the anti nausea and cramps videos and finally I think I'm starting to feel better.

I wonder if I'll skip the month's monthly? I just want this bloatedness to go away, it's so uncomfy feeling full all the time.

I just bought some cherry lip balm, mine just finished and some hand sanitizers. Those are so pricey ugh.

Last time, I got 3x bottles for about £6 and I grunted paying that. Now I was looking and looking and nothing until now.

I specifically look for it to say antibacterial, if it doesn't I won't purchase it.

I finally saw an offer 3 for £10, gosh that is £4 more and it's not branded.

The £6 one that are just finishing now lasted ages and they were the Calypso brand, I love how the spray instantly evaporates, no waiting around.

The gel for me leaves residue behind, that's why I don't like it. I recommend the 100ml size, really handy to fit in a bag and bring it out when you need it.

Thanks for following along my up and down journey. I'm never going to be happy all the time, this blog will never have pictures or a name reveal but I promise you it will always have my heart and soul imbedded into every post, even the fluff ones.

And occasionally I'll sneak some food photos or shopping images on Twitter for the hell of it.

Why do I improperly begin some sentences with And? I don't like big clunky paragraphs. 

I try to make them easy to read and cutely bite sized so because I ramble, I break them up often, ha, bad SS, but a cute flow or overflow.

No promises I'll make it to #BlogLife 1k but I will try my best, there is so much stress and illness and headaches, plus the family crap, it's not easy to communicate.

Deep down I never believed I would be a talker, a sharer, someone that inspired anyone else because I didn't think my thoughts were worth hearing/reading.

But in some ways, it's kinda funny, that the same people treating me like crap, were also asking for my wisdom to solve their problems.

I didn't feel too good about myself but it was good for my ego, that a long of people came to me when they were in trouble.

I may not have said much but somehow my intelligence was shining through.

I'm trying to think of something I haven't divulged before but something silly is all I can think about.

So here it is, I play Looney Tunes and there's a discord group, so when the current leader left and was taken over by a friend of mine, we needed a blurb for the new members and I think I volunteered to scribble something.

Actually I don't think it took long but here's an example of my writing tagline, I think it came out well..

I liked it but I still cringed that maybe noone else would think it was clever enough.

Soooo cheesy... There is nothing better than a food fight or is there? How about a tooOOon fight? Do you have a killer appetite? A thirst for vengeance? 

Come join our wisecracking family where only the fun never dies!!! It's a guaranteed blast with our crazy mix of experienced and inexperienced players. 

Tips, streams and everything inbetween to make you bust a gut. Terms and conditions apply, members not responsible if you die laughing, split your sides or become addicted to mayhem.

The funny thing was that sooo cheesy bit wasn't a part of it, I just felt a lil bit over the top, but she liked it so much, she kept it in.

#BlogLife600 - Blogaversary challenge *600th post* BookLife7 - Paloma's Holiday Hijinks

Song of the day - Whitesnake - Here I Go Again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oohFGOmcxuo

I put way too much pressure on myself to be more and more accomplished and when I don't necessarily achieve that, I get pretty down on myself.

That's why I haven't done much each BlogLife milestone but 600 seems like a big number so I want to make the effort to challenge myself.

The Christmas story isn't ready. It will be a miracle if I can publish it before the year is out so that was not an option for today.

Instead I thought what if I did an on the spot mini BookLife, that I compose tomorrow and publish tomorrow.

All fiction, although there is probably an element of truth in all my stories.

It has to come from somewhere right? I'm only writing this bit and will begin tomorrow's tale when I wake up properly and freefall any subject that springs to mind..

Wish me luck and happy reading :)

Paloma's Holiday Hijinks

"Hi my name's Paloma and as it's Christmas I wanted to share a special story with you."

"My age and looks don't matter because I'm not a Princess, I'm just an ordinary girl!"

"I grew up surrounded by water in a small coastal beach area, simply referred to as Oceana."

"I didn't like it as much being on land, but being in the water splashing and frolicking felt more natural."

"I always remember throwing a tantrum whenever I was lifted out of it."

"Calua, my sister and I were at the beach collecting shells, when it all started."

"I saw it first, give it back to me." I snatched it out of Calua's hand and sprinted away from her grabby sandy fingers.

"You're always stealing from me. My clothes, my snacks and now this."

"Er m-my o-our parents.. She twisted her head and looked at me amused and smugly.

"What rubbish are you spouting now? We both have the same parents!"

Calua's smile widened in that moment a big toothy grin followed.

She chuckled. "Yea, yes that's what you were supposed to think but last night I heard Mama and Papa talking about how they found you abandoned on the beach."

I stepped back in a daze. Dropping the beautiful shiny shell I had just fought over.

I shook my head. "You're lying to get me back because I took the sh-shell from you."

She fumbled around in her pocket. "I knew you wouldn't believe me so I brought proof with me."

My eyes widened and tears were already falling down my plump round cheeks.

Shakily I reached out and took the paper reading the note.

Darling Paloma,

I hope you never have to read this before I can explain myself. Your Papa Tur abandoned us.

We tried so hard to have a baby and began fighting a lot. It was a tough time all around.

I couldn't get myself together, to be the parent you deserved. I knew a family that always picnicked at this time, would find you and care for you, the way I just couldn't.

I will be back for you I promise on December 24th 2023. Wait for me by the beach.

I'm sorry. Don't hate me and be well, live your water-baby life. 

Your loving Mama 

Rocy

XxXx

I dropped the note and ran into the water screaming. I swam and swam, letting the icy water splash and numb me.

After what seemed like eons passed I finally swam back to shore and shivered on the beach, exhausted and raw.

I heard skipping behind me but I was still too out of it to comprehend much of anything.

My parents pulled me up scolding me. "Where have you been? Haven't I told you to stay with your sister??"

I stared up at them blankly, tuning them out. Their scowls no longer affecting me. I was near exhaustion and my legs wanted to collapse.

I closed my eyes and let my legs give way and felt myself carried home by who I thought was my Papa but now I knew different.

The scary thing was that tonight was the 23rd and tomorrow was Christmas Eve.

I rubbed my eyes and blinked to see my surroundings getting clearer and more in focus.

I was back home? I guess, the place where I had lived for most of my life but everything seemed new and scary.

I felt Papa touch my forehead. "Phew you don't have a fever." He hugged me and seemed genuinely concerned.

"What's for dinner?" I croaked the words out and everybody laughed. There was never anything wrong when I had an appetite.

I shivered and Mama put a purple shawl around me. I mumbled a Thank you, feeling too choked up to speak further.

We ate chicken and barley soup in silence or at least that's what I assumed as my thoughts were on sneaking out tonight and not being caught.

I excused myself without having dessert, mumbling that I was too tired.

I saw my parents shoot themselves a worried look but I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

It struck me that I didn't look like either of my parents and somebody had always made a running joke that I was kidnapped.

But nobody paid attention to that, although sometimes later on when I glanced over at their faces my Mama had seemed particularly disturbed by it.

I climbed on my bed and rested on my knees looking out the window. I saw the lanterns flicking on and heard the waves, which always put me to sleep.

I turned around as I heard a soft knock on the door. Mama stuck her head around the door.

"Are you alright sweetie? You are very quiet today?" I felt guilty but nodded.

She took my hand and led me back to the living room. My eyes widened as I looked up at the tree. 

It was only half decorated as my parents were swamped with work and other responsibilities so tonight we were finishing it off.

I had completely forgotten about it. My eyes went fuzzy from all the neon bright party decorations, it was a sight to behold, with all the walls shiny and festive.

Christmas cards in a wreath on the door. Gold, silver, red and blue ornaments covering the tree.

A gold and silver star at the very top that my sister and I had made together built out of paper and glue and a bottle of sparkling glitter.

Could I really leave all this behind I wondered? I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of apple juice and wiped a tear away.

Time passed and my sister and I yawned in unison. My parents carried us to our separate rooms, kissed us goodnight and swept the hair from our foreheads.

I snuggled in and pretended to sleep but as soon as they each closed the door I perched upright.

I set my alarm for midnight, laid out my favourite red dress with a bow in the middle and a bow for my hair.

My shiny red shoes with a mini bow. Yes I'm obsessed with bows and then fell into a deep sleep.

I sleepily swotted a buzzing fly that would not be quiet and then remembered it was my alarm clock.

I shut it off quickly and got dressed and looked around my room that I probably wouldn't see ever again.

I bit my lip and quietly tiptoed out of my room. I shushed all the squeaky floorboards nervously and made it to the lounge.

My hands were shaking. I quietly grabbed the red glitter pen to write a farewell letter.

Dear family,

I love you all and thank you for helping to raise me but I can't stay any longer.

I need to be with my real parent.

I'll never forget you. Please don't forget me.

Goodbye forever.

Ps don't look for me at the beach.

Paloma

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh and don't punish Calua for telling me...

I wiped my face clean and sternly told myself to be strong and brave.

I stood on tiptoes and unlocked the door and took one last breath, scanning the warm cosy home I once knew and then shut the door behind me shivering.

My teeth were chattering and I smacked my head. In my haste to not wake anyone up. I had forgotten my warm wooly coat.

Oh well, it was too late to go back and get it now. I was halfway there.

Maybe my new Mama would have something. I smacked my mouth. What did I call her?

I was so mixed up. All this was hurting my brain and my heart. I got to the beach safely and it was very quiet.

Nobody was around and I sat huddled bringing my knees up and unclutching the shell and note that had been tightly resting in my palms.

I wondered how long I would have to wait. Would I recognise her? Would she know me? How would I feel? How would she feel?

I swept the sand away from my clothes and hands, wanting to be as smart as possible and make a good impression but I was fading fast.

I couldn't stop yawning. Soon I had curled up and fallen back asleep again, resting my head on my lil hands.

I was abruptly awoken by the sounds of screaming and my name being shouted.

"Palommmmmmmmma Palomaaaaaa. Where are you??" I covered my eyes as the flashlight bore into me.

"Oh thank heavens she's safe." My parents scooped me up and covered me in kisses.

The shell and note had fallen out of my hands and I looked guiltily away as Mama picked it up.

She blinked away the tears, trying to focus and read it. She covered her mouth in an anguished cry and buried her head in Papa's shoulder while handing it to him.

He scanned it and crumbled it angrily. I was put down and I bit my lip.

"Umm are you angry with me? I have to leave you. N-not because I want too. I think it's the right thing to do because I was only loaned to you for a while and now. Umm I have to go back where I belong."

My parents made a gargled sound of frustration and pulled me closer.

I had never seen my parents so upset that they were actually both shedding tears.

"We were worried sick about you and you belong with us." I shook my head.

"Listen darling I know this must be terribly confusing for you but we can explain it."

"First though we are going to get you inside, warmed up and out of this freezing weather before you catch a cold."

I stubbornly folded my arms, while my Papa wrapped me in a blanket and bundled it tightly around me.

I didn't even realise I was shivering. I saw my parents looking at each other, wondering how much they should reveal to me.

I sneezed and broke into their thoughts. Papa picked me up despite my protests and carried me home.

Mama put a warm jumper on me and Papa brought me some hot chocolate to sip on to bring my temperature up.

But I had a few gulps and then petulantly pushed it away.  Papa's voice broke as he said...

"If something had happened to you.. O-our hearts would have broken and never been the same again."

"Promise us you will never try to leave and run away ever again."

Mama's voice interjected this time. "Despite what you think, you are our daughter but the letter has some merit."

My eyes widened as I listened. "Your Papa and I desperately wanted lots of children but the Doctor's said it would be a miracle if we could get pregnant."

"Um do you remember when you were very lil, a woman named Aunty Rocy?"

I shook my head. "Sh-she wasn't really your Aunty, just a close friend of the family and she cooked you in her tummy, from parts of err your Papa and Me."

I scrunched my face in disbelief? "Like an omelette?" They both smiled. "Something like that."

Papa cleared his throat. "See the problem was that Rocy started to think of you as her child and wanted to keep you."

"She became confused and wrote you this letter but you completely are 100% a member of this family."

I thought about this long and hard and thirstily drank the remainder of my hot chocolate.

I stood up ready for bed. "So Aunty Rocy was a microwave that cooked me but you're still my parents and I can still call you Mama and Papa?"

They both shrugged, laughed and nodded. "We'll always be your family and we are incomplete without you."

I hugged them both. "It's been a really long day and I didn't have dessert last night, tomorrow can I have pancakes shaped like Christmas trees with lemon, maple syrup and blueberries please?"

They both gasped at my outrageous request and said "Bed!" In unison.

I walked off turned around and giggled. It was good to be home, where I had a place that almost seemed magical and full of love.

The end