#BlogLife940 - Iceland goodies

I thought I would have a look, it's been a while since I checked to see if any new products were available.

There were loads but I'm only interested in the non red meat versions.

Greggs have a limited edition chicken fajita bake 2x £3.50. Iceland has a beef curry and sticky rice £3.75 ouchy prices.

Las Iguanas have a chilli beef burrito and a chicken one, chicken for me I think.

I hope these things aren't overly spiced. Iceland has new creamy chicken pies x4 £2.50 that's good, I like their own range.

And there was a chicken pasta that's sold out and a red thai chicken with sticky rice that looks good £3.75.

I personally now I've tried it and like it, prefer green thai, to me it's stronger and has a better taste.

But they are also offering deals, so 3 for £10. I'm only trying to get items that I really crave to kickstart a full appetite again.

I don't know what maintenance work was being done today, a lot of banging, seemed like they were cleaning the walls or windows, strange, that isn't a service that's offered.

There's no letters about it.

I'm done munching had the salmon pasta and the sandwich, plus some starburst and the hobnob biscuits.

I forgot to add this, remember the spring rolls I bought at the market that weren't spicy but needed extra seasoning?

I didn't notice at the bottom of the bag was a deliciously mild cucumber mint raita dip, ughhh. By then I had finished them lol.

Even though it wasn't the best, but it was goodish at least it was affordable. I really want to try the samosas and maybe the kebab roll, but in chicken not lamb.

Oh and the pakoras too, not sure if they are veggy or chicken.. And I bet all that filler food would be a tenner or so..

And by that time the buses will be running all the way to the market not stopping part way, so the food might even remain hot and crispy.

I need to budget and instead of me paying £15 or £20.. I can get snacks cheaper.

The only thing our market doesn't seem to have is a good Chinese takeout or a sushi place.

But I know other good places to get them from, it would be easier if they were within walking distance, I would spend less.

I have a feeling the next trip to the Optician or pedicure place, I'll pick up fish and chips and a cod roe, I've been craving that.

I can get the small version, it just won't be hot by the time I get home.

Mama's place and our local seems like they challenge themselves to put in as much food as possible.

The chunky chips are so plentiful, we can never finish and it's always fresh, a family business so it's never empty.

I need to get some more eye drops, a new towel, maybe a flannel and what was the other thing?

Oh yea face wipes too. I'm still waiting for the appointment to show up...

Ok 11.11am he turned up, there was no text this time so I was getting anxious I had been scammed again.

He was due before 12pm and I let him know everything, instead of not speaking up and regretting it.

I have no idea where the cleaners put the mop, the broom and the pan and brush, ughh.

I had things in sight for a reason so that they were easily accessible, if I can't find them I'll have to get replacements.

I just have a few more things to discard and that's it. I had to get the cleaner to open up an essential oil lemon bottle as I couldn't break through the child proof cap.

Embarrassing but hey ho. The other issue pressing on my mind is worrying about keeping things clean and manageable.

I'm really trying to do spot tidying as much as possible but I know there will come a time, when I'm injured or tired and it will get harder.

Hmm that took 20 minutes only but at least there wasn't much mess.

Umm I'm sceptical, he's coming back next week and I hope he didn't just do a rush job.

I deserve a thorough experience. It just seems too quick and easy.

I just thought it would be longer. He forgot to take the dvd player and I'm not reminding him.

I don't mind him having it, what I mind is.. I'm not convinced, it's all done.

I wanted to have peace of mind afterwards but I just feel I have been ripped off.

Maybe I am unnecessarily worrying for nothing? I have one more appointment with him next Wednesday.

I will address my concerns then because my appetite hasn't returned and I can't do a badly needed Iceland shop as I'm too stressed to eat.

He just made light of the things I said, not in a mean way but I don't feel reassured.

He did talk to me afterwards but I can't help but wonder if, he was just not really bothered to spend time double checking his work.

Or more eager to move on to the next paid job. I have to find a way to confront him, just so I can feel at ease.

I have to get over this mood but I don't know how. The funny thing is I can help other people feel better..

I just can't seem to do it for myself. I will try to continue grazing on snacks..

Maybe later, not now, my stomach is in knots. At lease the rest of the week is free.

Ugh what is even the point doing a grocery shop when I'm not munching.

I was looking forward to it. I guess I expected to feel differently.

I'm pretty sure the bins have been emptied, I heard a few trucks, unless they have forgotten about us again.

I'm just really trying to follow all these steps to improve my life and wellbeing so why doesn't it seem like it's evolving to a better place?

I'm fed up.

#BlogLife669 - I miss food..

I cooked the rotis, that seem like a wrap/chapati hybrid, but I love the fact that they are wholemeal and cook easily so I'm not standing for too long.

I did try them with the salmon, the taste is the same, the enjoyment is not. 

I don't know if I will attempt the rest or bin it. I want that feeling back, where I loved former dishes but it's just gone.

In the end I just put a lil butter and savoured that, way more than a topping would have.

It's still so weird. I cannot accept that I'm heading towards a simpler appetite.

The more I force myself to eat things I used to like but don't.. There is a danger there that I will lose my appetite again and just push food aside.

Anyway, that probably won't happen. My phone the Nord CE2 Lite, what a long stupid name...

Updated and now it's crashing the bloody music player. It's some security thing that cannot be disabled.

Argh I will have to investigate it because music calms me down and stops the panic attacks.

My brain is a bit scattered which is why I didn't post this on Thursday.

The only thing circling around it is. I'm a bit annoyed, my friend was telling me that, well this is how I interpret it....

She's become an emotional crutch, someone is just dumping and dumping their depressed mood onto her and I feel protective of her.

As though's the other person is taking advantage of her friendly, helpful and sweet side.

She feels guilty for being happy and content in her own life, which she shouldn't and he's indirectly making her feel bad, which angers me a lot, actually.

It's not my business but I wish he would stop whining about whoa is me, I hate everything, I hate myself blah blah blah and seek some bloody therapy, instead of dumping his foul mood on her.

Either confide in friends and family and/or get some much needed therapy and turn your life around because whatever you're doing, isn't working.

Alright to turn it back on me, someone suggested I do the same and get therapy and move past my dating history, once and for all..

And I said No because I feel too emotionally fragile, for someone to mess with my head and leave me raw and open.

I try to tackle one thing at a time, especially in the self therapy posts. (Crazy Self Therapy).

Besides, I don't feel like it is something that is ever going to disappear completely.

I was habitually hurt. I had/have no-one to lean on. I trust no-one and if someone tries to cosy up to me..

Well the thought of it, being able to relax and confide, is really comforting but the reality, is never what I think it will be.

Either they leave, or I do. Then add in the mix, deep rooted insecurities and it makes everything worse.

I can't say I like you, or I care about you and want to.. Spoil you with affection because then it's always...

Yes yes yes SS, focus on me, and I'll focus on me also and neglect you completely....

What I'm saying is, it's just easier and practical to keep my guard up, all the way up.