#BlogLife755 - Shady pakora drug deal

I'm just waiting for Mama and her bestie to finish up their dual beauty treatments. They were running late as the trains weren't running.

I didn't really sleep at all or maybe for a few measly hours but I doubt it was that much so by the time they got here, my whole body was seizing up.

Oh I didn't get the pakoras, he was acting so shady when I enquired about it.

I just said Oh, no pakoras? And he was like Ummm and acting shiftily

As though it was illegal or he couldn't talk about it, in the open.

It's just food, you twit! Just say I'm making more for later.

It's like they don't want my business. I wish women were running it, they would be friendly and open.

Sitting in this hard chair my backs stiffening up.

I can't wait to get back home and rest. I do feel peckish though.

Oh and my pedicure was ace. He gave me about three massages.

Soap or cream, scrub and an oil one to finish and it was both feet and leg.

I'm not a foot person at all but there is something relaxing about a professional taking care of you, especially when you're fed up and delicate.

And what made me laugh, as they know us as regulars, he just put my socks on ha.

I struggle with bending so I hate that part of it because it's straining my body and it's starting to build, so that was really sweet.

Brunch was extra good. Mama did her halloumi toastie and we got served quickly as the place was emptyish.

I saw they had turkey rashers, which was new, so I got that and chicken mayonnaise, I was meant to get egg and forgot.

But that's the first time, I've had it delivered, smothered with rashers, usually it's just 2. It was probably five on each side.

Thoroughly delicious :)

So offered Mama and I think that was the first time she tried it and she loves it also.

We just can't seem to buy it in the supermarkets, it's never in stock sadly, only in restaurants.

That wasn't bad, about £16.50 for two sandwiches, coffee and my appletiser drink.

I gave Mama £15 and she came back and said she only had to pay a pound or £1.50 I can't recall and she asked me if I wanted change haha.

Oh forgot to add this bit. I don't have a huge appetite first thing usually so I thought I would get through half the sandwich but it was so packed, once I finished a quarter I was bursting.

I pushed it aside and would get a doggy bag to have it later. Mama and me were talking and the chef or the owner, gave me a double take.

And I thought weird, I didn't call him over, so he walked over to the table and was looking at the half eaten sandwich and Mama said, Oh he thinks you didn't like it.

I said Ohh, and I was just giggling, saying No No No, it was super tasty, I'm just full and will get it to go.

That appeased him. Ha. I thought I was going to get banned lmao.

He wasn't angry just had this crazy expression, like a teacher looking at a student.....

(I half expected him to run to the kitchen and back again wielding a butcher's cleaver).

Care to explain this?? It was the fact that he wasn't saying anything, that made it peculiar.

I've never experienced that before. It did tickle us though.

Now to the fun bit. There were no nearby benches so we went to the bus stop and I pulled out 1 set of double sided wax strip but I didn't warm it up between my fingers.

Bless, she was nervous, she didn't want to rip it off so I did it and the first one did nothing at all.

The wax congealed on one strip, so the other was useless. I found it so funny, that all during this, a woman was watching, she sat down right next to us, when there were seats free all over.

Then when we started ripping it off, she moved away, like, who are these weirdos??? Bahaha.

You knew what we were doing and you still sat down, ha!

Anyway, with the other strip, I warmed it up, closed my eyes, removed my glasses and she pressed it down thoroughly, aww.

And removed it and this time, there were some hairs on the paper.

I'm still not recommending Parissa wax strips though, it's too weak in my opinion.

Plus having to use multiple strips at a time, they won't last long at this rate and they aren't effective at catching all the hairs, just barely a quarter.

If I go over it, that's gonna kill my eyes, they'll go red and bruised.

So I have to pluck, although how? I can't see what I'm doing?? They are just super messy at present.

I'll either wait a week and try again or just leave it and hope my contact lens are ordered and arrive before next year. Ugh!

By the time I got home, my whole body was in critical pain so had to lie down, couldn't sleep, but had the blankie on almost full heat and it really helped.

That's why this post is late, though if you followed my Twitter, you would know this.

Got to loveee a good guilt trip ;)

#BlogLife572 - Treated like a Queenie

How's things? I'm writing tomorrow's post, tonight because I know I'll be exhausted.

I'm meeting Mama tomorrow for breakfast/lunch and we both mentioned we were craving veggie pakoras and some ladoos so she'll pick them up.

And I'm going to finally do the eyebrow shape and pedicure that I put off.

Then I'll get my booties from her and she said the phone stand I bought might be busted so will sort that out.

I did some pre-beauty tidy up and plucked a lil and removed the hard skin from my feet.

I wanted to look less scruffy I guess. Oh If I remember I'll epilate also. There's one lil patch of fuzz ha, on my legs.

My thighs are completely smooth. That's epilating for you. I'm back home, well been back for a while.

A nap wouldn't take and I was munching pakoras and my lunch. I ordered a chicken salad panini but I couldn't face it.

I pathetically nibbled some of the salad and took the rest to go. I feel a lil blah today. 

I guzzled down an orange fanta for the energy and that was it. I feel so drained and hormonal.

The pedicure was mostly great, the massage chair was relaxing me and I got three foot/leg massages.

I think soap, scrub and the final one was a cream but she pressed or squeezed so hard I actually screamed.

It's like no matter how many times I see them and repeatedly explain, can you be gentle please, they don't listen.

My face was cringing and contorted in pain, not so soothing but most of it was fine really.

Oops I got the prices wrong, I had it in my head that the pedicure was £20 and the brow shape was £5.

Nope, the pedicure is £25. I almost didn't have enough but I try to withdraw extra from the cashpoint just in case.

Oh yea, I was a bit miffed that, it was practically empty and after the pedicure, they said go in the room and we'll be there soon.

So I waited a bit, only to be told, sorry, we're too busy for it. Arghhh.

Aggravating because now I have to go there again, which is a tiring trek for me.

How are you too busy? There aren't any customers and there is 2 of you doing absolutely nothing but gossiping.

Ugh! Anyway that ticked me off. It seemed like they couldn't be bothered to do their jobs, as it would have taken 5 minutes, 10 at the most!!

Ooh I bought the red kaftan that I liked from Amazon which was a lil steep at £22 but the postage was free and the quality seems to last longer than other places.

But usually I get a size bigger so it's baggy, they didn't that size so I had to get my normal one, which I hope isn't tight.

The rest were colours I already had and some didn't have a size, which was disappointing.

I really would have got this bright blue one, that looked so pretty. It was nice to sit down with Mama and chill for a while.

I really fancy another fizzy to perk me up but I'm not going to bother.

Oh yea the booties. Firstly, I do like the colour, it's a bit plummy. It doesn't look old fashioned which I'm relieved about.

It looks small for a size 9, I'm more of an 8, but I get a bigger size to wear thick men's sockies inside.

I like the zip so I don't have to tie any laces, although the other one I can just slip my feet in them, without untying the laces.

I guess I'll see if I can wear thick socks with it. The summer sockies I bought, which Mama loves are a bit too thin for walking.

My feet felt a lil bruised today and I tried them on and they feel snuggly and warm and easy to wear.

I'm happy with them, shame it was such a headache to purchase them.

#BlogLife484 - Triple massage/triple pleasure

I'm beginning to think the Postie has run off with my curlers which is pretty funny because he has no hair but I'm surprised they are still not here, grr.

I was up and out early to Meet Mama but I was running late due to the roadworks and dry heaving.

I think I'm okay now, aside from being insanely tired. She opted out of the pedicures, poor thing as she was chilly and had under-dressed.

I'm so surprised she liked my hair shorter. Normally I point out a new thing and ask her opinion, not because I need her to like it, I'm always just curious.

But she noticed it and loved it, I tousled it and pinned it back because it's not curling properly and I said Oh okay, I thought I had done it too short and she was like Nooooo.

I love it, it suits you. I gotta admit it does have volume and has a style of it's own but it needs a lil wave, here and there.

Her side was sunny, but my area (an hourish), maybe away, starts off really cold and then warms up around lunchtime or late afternoon.

By the time I was coming back home, I was all toasty and warm because I always have a long top on and then I added the top/cardigan all in one, plus a heavy jacket ha.

I actually wasn't in too much pain today so I hopped on another bus to go into town and finally get some pampering done.

I'm always glad I go to the beauty salon but the journey there I dread, with the possible pain and lack of energy.

It's just taxing. Anyway they were kinda busy and luckily it's the same price, £5 for an eyebrow wax/tweezer and £25 for the pedicure.

I kinda wish it was more Americany, where if you're getting more than one treatment done, you stay in the chair and they just adjust it so you don't have to move..

But it was still really nice, she did go gentle because even the bones, that weren't actually broken, seem quite damaged and sensitive.

I'm very susceptible to anyone being heavy handed, I really do feel sore afterwards and during.

I think due to the fact that I'm a semi regular, she knows that I'm kinda fragile because I was getting ready to yelp in pain but it wasn't too bad.

I asked her to start the chair massage and oh my........ That sent me on a warm and fuzzy plane.

I didn't realise how much I needed that. I suppose with all I'm going through it makes sense.

She did the scrub foot and leg massage and she also did the cream one.

I didn't think she was going to do it actually but it felt so great, my eyes were closing and she did ask if I was ok.

But the funny thing was she kept repeating something with a face mask on and it came out muffled.

It sounded like How's bomb? And I was racking my brains to work out what on earth she was talking about, until it dawned on me and I laughed.

How's Mama? That's what she mean't. The only thing I didn't like was that while she was holding my head, she left wax on my scalp.

I'm too tired to have another shower/bath so I took some wet wipes and sprayed some leave in conditioner.

It's not a massive amount but it's annoying to have sticky hair and worry that a clump will fall out.

Fancy an m&m? (fiction)

Don't be a silly goose. Of course that doesn't stand for confectionery. I am referring to a hand/arm massage and a manicure.

Everybody knows that! 

However if that is what your heart truly desires, then so be it. 

Hmm..? Suddenly not so keen on the choccies? 

Oh don't stop there, my dear. Keep the compliments *cough* *grovelling* *cough* going.

Uh huh and? Really?

I never knew you thought that highly of me.

List my ten highest qualities!

*Roaring with laughter* S-stop. Se-riously. Heavens above. I was only messing with you. 

There was no need to actually sing my praises but appreciated all the same oh gullible one ;)

Wraps a heating blanket over your shoulders and dims the lights. 

Just for a lark, I shake an empty peanut butter jar that I've written *tips* on. 

No. We do not accept smiles as gratuity! What kind of mock salon do you think I'm pretend running here? Cheapskate! Hmpff!

I slide your rings off your fingers and drop them into the tip jar. Stating I may or may not return these afterwards.

I slide a heated pink bamboo towel under your hands and carefully inspect them. Tutting and shaking my head disapprovingly.

Why are they in such disarray? I even gave you a manicure set for your birthday this year. 

Pardon? Oops oh yea. I forgot your birthday and avoided you for a fortnight afterwards. 

Well.. Er.. I was in a crisis. Someone had the audacity to eat my last rolo!

Care to pick a colour? 

Um don't you think that is a bit tacky?

Calm down it was only an observation. Don't blame me if you get solicited!

Sighing I cast the nail polish aside and place your unkempt hands in the slightly cooled hot water glass bowl filled with rose petals and soaked in a grapeseed carrier oil mixed with rose and citrus essential oils.

I unroll the manicure kit like a badass. Picking out all the handy tools I'll be using. 

I pluck your hands from the bowl and place them on the towel, wiping them with a large red bamboo flannel.

Next I pick up the lemongrass nail polish remover and the fluffiest cotton pads I could find and rub along your fingernails until you look presentable again.

You really should moisturise. Your hands feel butch. 

I lift your left hand and place it in mine. Would you like square or round nails?

Tough. I only know how to style square nails. I was only being polite giving you a choice. 

I take out the file and start shaping the nails on your left hand. 

I then drop it and pick up your right hand and do the same. After that is complete. I buff them, completing the preparation.

I place your expertly tidied nails back into the bowl, having topped it up with more hot water. 

After a few minutes, I remove them again and place them on the towel.

I flip the cap of the pink grapefruit scrub open and squeeze a generous amount onto my palm and I smear my hands together blending it fully. 

I love the grainy sound of a scrub.

I take your left hand in between my palms and start rotating them in a soothing, stroking manner. 

I repeat the same with your right hand and then I place them both back on the towel.

I press down with a light force just utilising my fingertips on each of your hands simultaneously, starting with your fingertips. 

I glide in small circles deeply penetrating your skin, moving up past your knuckles and on to your hands and wrists.

I then turn your hands over and repeat the same movements. Starting from your fingertips, all the way up to your wrist. 

Smoothing your hands all over with feather like caresses.

I grab your left hand and place it between my hands and start to grind my hand up your arm, letting the scrub sink in.

I press down a little and slide my hands towards me and back upwards a few times.

Then I finish up in a more circular motion, tackling your hand from the top and bottom.

Blending the scrub in and coating your arm until it feels soft.

I let go of your left hand and reach for your right hand to carry on sliding it between my palms and then work it higher on to your arm until it is thoroughly coated. 

I massage it in with round touches and then sweep up and down.

I place your hands back on the towel and disappear to rinse off and empty the bowl. 

I return and refill the bowl with hot water and rose essential oil. 

I take a squeezy purple sponge, dip it in the water and start to remove the scrub from your hands and arms. 

This time I just glide it forwards and backwards, flipping your hands around to finish off.

I get a new towel and rub away the excess moisture from your hands and arms with gentle dabs. 

Now that you are dry. I scoop up a handful of the cranberry body butter and massage it into your hands using my thumbs and fingers, until it glows and feels silky.

I then place your hands down and start applying the base coat, meticulously brushing your nails like a professional. 

After that dries I apply two coats of your tacky varnish.

I get up to admire my handiwork. Damn I'm good, especially with what I had to work with. 

Please show yourself out and don't forget your gawdy jewellery!

Just before you leave I place a bag in your hand with an M&M gift box, a deluxe manicure set and a bottle of pink non alcoholic bubbly.