#BlogLife1032 - Feeling, feeling, feeling..

It makes no sense, one day I feel normal and the next morning, waves of nausea hits me and I'm wondering if the food will stay down, if I'm going to vomit..?

Luckily yesterday and today I raced and put the anti nausea video/mp3 on and after a while of doing nothing, trying to keep calm, slowly breathing, the feeling passed.

It's funny how cutting people out of your life, unburdens you. Not that they are horrid but acquaintanceship is a two way thing, shouldn't both people get something out of it, not just one?

Well the top came that's good, the face washes will be redelivered this week I guess.

My earbuds broke, I think they were a few years old. It's funny the ear hook snapped but stayed around my ear, woke up and I was searching for the other half when it was behind my ear, crazy.

I saw an unbranded BX29, supposedly upto 15 hours playback, oops might have bought the wrong one.

Two seemed really similar, think I bought the BX17. Oh well, with stereo hd mic...

Hmm they all make big claims and usually fail to deliver. As long as it has a long battery life and people can hear me on the microphone, that's good.

It was just under £10 which isn't bad. It's usually mainly the Mpow brand which had a long battery life, however I'm not sure about the longevity, I think they break quickly..

Plus they were a whopping £10 more and there was no way I was paying that much.

I'm trying to be sensible and not put my wellbeing at risk, earbuds are essential but it doesn't mean I have to spend a fortune.

Today was such a pain with my vision, I had that gluey feeling, the lens were steamed up, it was hard to read and focus..

Eyedrops didn't help, I finally had to take out my lens drench them in drops and reinsert them, now I can see.

Goodness I am sore, bending to bag the groceries, cleaning, checking the post (no nasty surprises)..

And emptying the bins, oof the pain is spreading. At least I can use the heated blankie for a bit.

I wish this dryness would leave my eyes, I am using Blink eyedrops and it is doing nothing yeesh, so I keep rubbing them and making them sore, I can't help it.

Oh I worked out why The Buccaneers series was so confusing, turns out I didn't watch all of season 1, missed maybe 4 episodes..

I saw the build up of controlling manipulative behaviour from Ginny's hubby.

The nice, not nice, provoking arguments to avoid accepting blame for any wrongdoing, sickening.

Then alienating her from her family and friends by causing rifts so she has no choice but to rely on him, please him and all that nonsense.

Plus I understood the love triangle better between Nan, Guy and the Duke (what's his name)?

Originally she liked the Duke but she connected with Guy because they both shared vulnerabilities, he was grieving, she discovered a family secret..

She should have been upfront, the truth is before I marry you, I have a secret, the other truth is, I'm not sure about my feelings..

Ginny you wanted to shake and say wise up, stop being so desperate for love, attention and marriage that you can't see the disrespect for what it is.

Think before you act, because your destruction affects other people.

And I finally got the answer, though disturbing that it turned out to be, was Conchita's hubby Dick, having a fling with his nanny or was it a maternal connection?

I feel like the sickening answer, was a mixture, like she preyed upon a vulnerable child, who didn't have a lot of love and affection.

A teenager, barely a man is what? 16yrs or 18yrs? And she was probably double that, why on earth he kept her on as a nanny is beyond me..

These period dramas are so twisted lol.

#BlogLife363 - Retro gaming

What activities did you play as a family growing up?? For us it was a variety of interests.

Dominoes, card games, board games like Monopoly and scrabble was my favourite.

We were competitive but not really trash talkers. It was more sorta gloaty... Oooh I've got a good hand or ha you landed on my Mayfair hotels.

I think there was even a bit of tennis and badminton but although it was kinda fun getting to hit it back or trying to serve. I wasn't sporty as I had no depth perception at all.

Whenever the ball came near me I flinched as it was a missile blur coming for me. There were quite a few swimming trips but again I hated removing my glasses or lenses and not being able to see.

I think it was a safety thing for me. What if there was an emergency and I got trampled upon as I wouldn't know where to head towards or what if I tripped?

It just got too uncomfortable and I remember the girls at school complaining I wasn't aggressive enough in the sports team events and the gym teacher pulled me aside.

I explained that I could not see the ball coming straight at me so I ducked to avoid getting hurt and they were so astonished that they pulled me out of all team sports and let me lounge around haha.

I will say the good thing about having bad eyes is you can use it to your advantage. I was already getting pulled out of classes to check on my vision, if I could see the blackboard and understand the handwriting etc.

I never could truth be told, it was joined up and tiny squiggly writing. They passed it on and I sat at the front and it made no difference lol.

I recall the tutors being exasperated but I just shrugged. I don't even think they made the effort to make it bigger or anymore legible anyway so I kept telling the same thing, sorry can't read it.

In the end I copied from a friends notes. The only other active things we did together was ice skating, I remember that being fun but if I fell I always curled my hand up.

I was petrified of someone skating over my fingers ughhh! It never happened but it could have. I always scrambled to my feet and watched the professionals thinking I wonder if I could be that flexible?

Ugh still waiting for the maintenance guy so much for getting up at 7 in case they came early.

It's now 11amish. Two hours wait remaining.. 

Later on it was pool or snooker but the games took longer and longer and the interest waned. 

Computer wise Commodore 64 was my first console and I was addicted to Wonder Boy, Paper Boy, Ghostbusters, Chuckie Egg and 1943.

 

All the family used to take turns on game night. Do you recall draughts and snakes and ladders?

There were so many faddy games. It's funny how each family has certain rules for certain games so you play it both ways and thrash them when the tables are turned (evil cackle)!

Then it was either Atari or Nintendo. Mario Kart and I can't remember if Zelda was on it or just on the Gameboy/Gamegirl.

I only remember one cheat where you could steal bombs I think to accumulate them but you died and had to restart.

Gosh they used to ache my hands and that was the cue to chuck the controller to someone else and say take over.

You're probably wondering why I#m talking about this subject and I think it's because those were happier times and it randomly popped into my head.

I always found after a stressful day, gaming could make me feel lighter and now with the stories and chronic pain, there is even more reason to switch off and chill out.

If I can find a racing game with beautiful scenery where I don't have to constantly tap the screen, as in it auto steers and it has bends and you can play it offline in 1 to 1 races..

Plus has freebies and teams and it doesn't take years to advance, then I would be a happy bunny.

I've tried CSR 2, too hard to get anywhere without cash, Asphalt 8 wouldn't even open pfft.

Horizon Chase was a money pit and Mario Kart Tour had appalling steering and these are supposed to be highly rated recommendations.. 

Not in opinion they're not. If I find something suitable I'll let you know. Oof it's nearly 12pm, where did the time vanish??

#BlogLife181 - Unreadable at first

 Afternoony all. How are you feeling today? I'm shattered as per usual but I can't seem to nap anymore. As usual the minute I start to get into a cosy comfy sleep, the alarm rings.

I guess now that masks are mandatory in public again, I have forgone wearing makeup.

I felt so dizzy just trying to walk around and catch my breath. The good news is I picked up some gifts for the family, scented smellies.

The bad news is, I still wish I could give my mama something more useful than a foodie hamper but time is running out.

Early next week is probably the cut off point and maybe inspiration will hit this week.

I did get a new penpal request but..... It was a short strange one, with very little details.

It's odd for an introduction, it's as though either they can't be bothered to greet me properly or it's a rejected penpal, trying his luck with a new approach....

I'm leaning towards the latter. I can't bring myself to reply to it. You get one chance to make an impression and if that is what you are going with...

I'll pass. It's like if I came up to you on the street and said Hi. How are.....? Ok bye now. Call me.

It's too weird. If you are going to take the time out to write someone, why not share a bit about yourself?

For the past couple of days I've been having bad vision problems.

Sometimes it's really hard to read and I never know if it's the lenses or my eyesight deteriorating.

It scares me because my prescription is already insanely high and I don't want it to get any worse but with ageing I guess that is inevitable for everyone.

I did do a deep clean of my lenses with the protein tablets and although they feel more comfortable, it didn't make a big difference.

I've been blurry for a while but somehow today. It's cleared up and I can see and read really well.

I don't really understand but it's something I'll just monitor and chase up with an optometrist eventually.

I would usually go and get my brows tidied and get a pedicure but I'm not in the mood this year.

I just feel sapped of energy, mentally and physically. I'm aiming to finish the short stories before the year is out but nothing is inspiring me.

I don't really want to blog for the sake of it so instead when I feel like I have something to say, I'll post at that time, instead of daily.

Then in the new year I hope I'll feel more talkative and creative. Take care for now.

:)