#BogLife868 - Did I just get a new penpal?

I had a bit of a rough night, I just felt really sicky and crampy I think and then my feet were in pain too.

I ended up playing the anti nausea video for what seemed like an hour, but it was probably less.

I was just trying to relax and drift off to sleep, I was exhausted and eventually I did.

Just before that though I randomly decided to check my other email, the protonmail one and it had a new message.

At first I thought it was spam actually, I do get a bit of that, but it was from the site I recently registered with to upload the new story.

I didn't even know they had such a message feature. It was pleasant enough so I just responded but made it clear, I wasn't after romance or picswaps or any of that nonsense.

I guess I'll see if he responds. I'm not invested at this point, there is too much in my head and I still feel off.

Oh and yesterday I did have an odd encounter on the bus. This lady sat next to me and asked what was the deal with my face or hair?

I couldn't really understand her well as I was listening to music but I figured if it was anything, maybe the foundation hadn't been rubbed in properly.

Although thinking about it, that always absorbs readily into my skin anyway, I didn't have any other make up on.

Oh maybe it was the moisturiser? I wasn't too fussed. That doesn't embarrass me. 

I just took my hand and rubbed it into my skin. I normally do check the mirror before leaving but I was running late so no time to spare.

I guess I feel a bit calmer today, sometimes it's better to relinquish trying to fix everything myself and hand it over to someone else that has more experience and knowledge.

It's not a bad thing, it doesn't make me weak or foolish, just proactive.

I don't think I have any volume in my freshly washed hair. I did the oil yesterday and gave myself a relaxing scalp massage to soak it in deep and it is washed out.

It's not greasy, it's currently sticking up. I don't know why it does that to me but it is super soft.

#BlogLife597 - Peekaboo penpal

Good morning. My stomach is doing that unsettled thing so I thought I would go ahead and blog in bed.

I'm tired but not sleepy. I just took out a Prime trial to avoid postage fees.

I found what I was initially searching for, Mama's soft fluffy rug and she wanted it in a red shade.

The price was reasonable and then I added homemade fudge, Ferrero dark chocolate, and various orange, lemon, blackcurrant and possibly cherry drinks.

There were quite a few offers but I spent more than I planned.

Although it is for the holidays so it can't be helped and I'm looking forward to reviewing them.

I got a new penpal request last week and only noticed it today.

He seems relatively normal, but didn't include his age and he is from the UK and made it clear he was single. Hmm..

I made enquiries and then equally as blatant I gave my usual speech about ignoring the romance inspired emails and that I was a bacherloretta for life.

Ha! He got the message and didn't dwell on it, which would have irritated me a lot..

He was somewhat candid and I thought I will proceed at my own slow careful pace.

He already asked to peruse the blog and I declined. I'm sick to death of being judged and bombarded with personal questions, straight away.

Nobody has earned that right, to think they know me entirely from skimming a few bloody words!

Had to get that rant out of the way. I'm getting this really umm uncomfortable vibe.

Maybe I am overreacting? I feel like he (K), is indirectly flirtatious.

Yea I am not wrong. He has started putting kisses at the end of every email and emphasising on what a romantic he is.

I will cut him loose soon. No matter how clear I am about wanting a platonic penship, it's usually the same mushy crap that I receive.

It's very off-putting. I think I need to eat and drink, the anti nausea isn't helping for once.

I'm not even sure if Postie has come and gone because I felt so tired this morning, I fell back into a deep sleep.

I finished the other two moisturisers and now I'm using the Cien Q10 Intensive.

It's a bit heavier than the other two, the Derma V10 and the Neutrogena.

It seems to sit on the face and wait to be really rubbed in, I'm not used to working that hard, normally they absorb easily.

But I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and my face was white ha.

It does leave my face soft but less is more and I feel it weighted on my skin.

I will leave it on for a while and then rinse off the surface layer with a face wash, otherwise I will eventually rub it into my eyes. Ouchy!

Oh I just got an email to say the purple lippy arrived and it was in my mailbox.

It looked dark enough but it isn't, it needs to be mixed to make it darker.

It's quite thick and not that moisturising, I would definitely need a lip balm or clear gloss under or over it.

Amazon is driving me nuts today. The first message that popped up on my account was..

There is an issue, we had to cancel/recall an item and I thought Oh No, which one??

But my wifi wasn't on. I always take it off at night so when I put it on, the message disappeared.

Then they said, there was a problem with a delivery but my account said received.

Arghhhh what is going on?? At least Mama mia confirmed she got the fudge, well I doubt if she will open it but I'm tracking the rest of it.

She probably will think I'm nuts but at least it saves her from carrying large quantities, hopefully her housing manager can help her out.

#BlogLife575 - Chatty chicks watching flicks 7 *My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3*

I still haven't found a new television show to get hooked on but as I was browsing I saw that My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 had been released.

And even though I was starting to get tired I decided to watch some of it and then eventually the whole thing.

Ian Gomez, John Corbett's parents, Michael Constantine were all absent. The latter was because he passed away.

For a second I wondered if there was a new actress playing Paris' role but nope.

This was a more cuter, sweeter, less comedic film, although there were still amusing bits scattered throughout it.

I'm glad that the majority of the cast returned.

I'm a bit annoyed Iceland is having issues so I can't place an order, I had to use Ocado instead but it did remind me that I needed things that Iceland doesn't have so maybe it's a good thing.

Anyway the film was a tribute to Gus and his roots and going back to Greece for a reunion and so that Toula could bring his journal to his friends as a keepsake.

Maria his wife was only seen in short intervals, maybe the actress is poorly, I'm not sure, but she was missed for the majority of the film.

A few things bugged me about it. Ian the hubby, kept receiving welcoming gifts and although he learned Greek, seem to have forgotten so instead of saying thank you, he kept bowing.

Ugh, just express gratitude!!

Secondly the women were swimming in the lake and then I think it was Nick is seen at the waterfront, naked cupping his privates...

Ummm ewww. Why?? That's around your family, your niece, your Aunts. Why would you strip naked??

Gross! The actual wedding, was not who I thought. I assumed it would have been Paris getting hitched, even though she is really young but it wasn't.

What a morning. I had to do an Ocado shop in the end as Iceland website was acting up.

I was looking forward to all the goodies arriving and then when I check my emails. Cancelled grr!!

I had to do a same day delivery instead from Iceland which cost £4 instead of free delivery.

Ugh annoying, I know it's only £4 but it should have been free and I can't be bothered to deal with customer services about it.

At least I slept in a lil bit, until 10amish, instead of getting up at 7am, in case the shopping came early.

I decided to reply to D, Thursday night I think it was. I couldn't sleep and it felt normal to get back to him, as it was about 2 weeks that had passed.

He kept me waiting that long, so I did the same. I wasn't sure if he was fading me out but I thought if it happens, it happens.

I was really surprised to get a response from him so soon, this morning (Saturday).

Well technically it was Friday night but I didn't check my email then.

I was laughing reading it because he didn't see the connection with the timing at all.

He was just disgusted/disappointed/sorrowful that it took me 15 days to reply.

I had to point out that it was the same time as his prior response and that two weeks waiting time is cruel. Haha!!

It amuses me that some men don't realise their own behaviour until it's done to them and suddenly their eyes are open to it.

Every now and then the penpal requests still strickle in, some are spam, well most are.

A few are genuine but with no personal details provided. I need age, location is less important, although if there is a language barrier..

I am not open to that all, seems more a hindrance! Gender is important also, just for a sense of, do I have to be careful about what I say and how it is interpreted??

Most come off as romantic, even though they all say the same thing.

We loved your advert. Ahem, did you actually read it? I'm sure one of the many amendments was, I was after platonic friendships, not lovely dovey declarations!

#BlogLife339 - Penpal or pen-peculiar??

It's been a lil while since I had some penpal requests come through and they haven't improved at all.

There just doesn't seem to be any brain function there. The recent one came in a few days ago. I forgot to check and he wrote the whole email in the subject box!!

Why why why?? How could you not proof read or check before sending it off? I know we are all busy and I have done that but I corrected myself shortly after.

Then to make matters worse, he told me nothing about himself, not even the basics, like age and location.

All he was content to do was ask questions and provide nothing of himself which as you know, I can't stand!!

It shall be marked for spam and ignored. My advert that I posted gave tidbits about myself, that's the whole point of trying to connect, you put yourself out on display to see if anyone appeals or can relate.

Ugh.... I'm not really to bothered about finding a new one. I'm super busy at the moment, it's just the process of vetting them, is tedious.

I was spoilt with the Australian one, she was sweet but taxing, there was too much because I had to match the energy. I can write a medium letter but long is too time consuming.

I did rival her fervor for a long time but I found myself zapped of energy and then things happened and I pulled away but let her know the situation first.

Oh and I bumped into one of the J's a while back but instead of him introducing himself being transparent like I would be. Hi it's.. Not sure if we are on friendly terms but good to see you etc etc.

He just sidled his way into my messages pretending to be someone else and when I called him out asking if he was J? He became vague and refused to answer directly.

What a coward! And manipulative too, he knew I didn't want to talk to him, so covered his identity and tried to get a hangout with me underhandedly.

Ickity ick ick!! My reply was.... It probably is you because you never give me a straight answer so I'm off to have a real conversation *blockity block block block*

That felt very satisfying because I let him get away with twisting the truth for a very long time. It's like they turn the tables on me and make it my fault.

Grrrr schmuckity schmuck!!

#BlogLife216 - Can men read?

I know that sounds rude but it's a fair question. I'm getting more and more penpal responses coming in, which should be a pleasant surprise..

I barely feel like checking them. It's as though men read a certain sentence and think Yes, yes, yes. 

She will do nicely. I won't concern myself with reading the remainder because what are the chances, my gut instincts will fail me??

There is a reason I have made my advert long and detailed with certain requisites. 

I want to know who can follow directions and understand the type of person that I would be happy to get to know and have a giggle with.

The latest disaster wanted photos and phone numbers? WTF??!!

Should I have put the whole thing in bold and capital letters? Would the idiots have followed it better??

I doubt it. Relegated to spam once again, for failing to comprehend my needs.

That's probably the first test. If someone could get through the post and think, Oh okay, well that sounds like me or hmm, you know, on second thoughts. I'll skip her.

It would make a huge difference and make a vast improvement on the quality of responses that come into my inbox.

If I'm going to have a long standing penpal relationship, I would want to know we are suited and a brief outline of who we each are, for just the beginning of it.

Then we have a stepping stone to move forward together. We can ask questions or clarify and either it will get stronger or we'll part ways.

But hell, it is something. If you can't even give me that, I don't see the point.

I think it's more of the one sided approach, where I've shared and they haven't, which is a button pusher.

I don't like being the only one that is open a fraction, it's uneven.

I'm not really concerned about finding someone. If it happens eventually, that will be lovely but if not, that's alright too.

I find writing the short stories quite time consuming, they are fun but they need a lot of attention.

Plus I want to keep the momentum going on the Wattpad Lethal Curves Ahead.

I'm just not sure if I want another love triangle or to open up some jealousy.

I guess I'll see when I compose the next chapter. In real life I wouldn't blur the lines between friendship and romance but in fiction, it might be kinda fun.......

#BlogLife181 - Unreadable at first

 Afternoony all. How are you feeling today? I'm shattered as per usual but I can't seem to nap anymore. As usual the minute I start to get into a cosy comfy sleep, the alarm rings.

I guess now that masks are mandatory in public again, I have forgone wearing makeup.

I felt so dizzy just trying to walk around and catch my breath. The good news is I picked up some gifts for the family, scented smellies.

The bad news is, I still wish I could give my mama something more useful than a foodie hamper but time is running out.

Early next week is probably the cut off point and maybe inspiration will hit this week.

I did get a new penpal request but..... It was a short strange one, with very little details.

It's odd for an introduction, it's as though either they can't be bothered to greet me properly or it's a rejected penpal, trying his luck with a new approach....

I'm leaning towards the latter. I can't bring myself to reply to it. You get one chance to make an impression and if that is what you are going with...

I'll pass. It's like if I came up to you on the street and said Hi. How are.....? Ok bye now. Call me.

It's too weird. If you are going to take the time out to write someone, why not share a bit about yourself?

For the past couple of days I've been having bad vision problems.

Sometimes it's really hard to read and I never know if it's the lenses or my eyesight deteriorating.

It scares me because my prescription is already insanely high and I don't want it to get any worse but with ageing I guess that is inevitable for everyone.

I did do a deep clean of my lenses with the protein tablets and although they feel more comfortable, it didn't make a big difference.

I've been blurry for a while but somehow today. It's cleared up and I can see and read really well.

I don't really understand but it's something I'll just monitor and chase up with an optometrist eventually.

I would usually go and get my brows tidied and get a pedicure but I'm not in the mood this year.

I just feel sapped of energy, mentally and physically. I'm aiming to finish the short stories before the year is out but nothing is inspiring me.

I don't really want to blog for the sake of it so instead when I feel like I have something to say, I'll post at that time, instead of daily.

Then in the new year I hope I'll feel more talkative and creative. Take care for now.

:)

#BlogLife166 - My brain vs his

 Afternoony all. I hope your day is going swimmingly :) Mine is okay. I just feel bloated and tired and wondering if I am going to start my period this month or skip.

At least I don't feel sickly anymore. Sucks looking at how my bills are skyrocketing. I had the budget down perfectly and now have to readjust my spending.

Actually I can look at it in a positive light, less money to spend on sweet sugary snacks..

I checked my other email and saw two new ones and thought Ooh maybe a potential new penpal but then I read it and felt disgusted.

He was looking for someone he had previously spoken to, who he wanted to have an affair with..........Seriously......On a penpal site, you're trawling for booty???

Yeeesh! I've moved it to spam and the other was from a random who just wants to flirt 24-7.

Isn't there any part any of your mind that craves intelligent conversations? Sigh......

I'm really not getting to have the ongoing chats, I prefer. It's just introductory banter and after a while, answering the same questions over and over is tedious.

I don't know if I'll bother to respond or just block, as I can try and redirect the chat but eventually, it all creeps back to flirting.

Yawn.. Zzzzzz......Wake me when the brain outside of your trousers arises and wants a legitimate interaction.

#BlogLife164 - Daily routine process

How are you all feeling today? It's terrible but sometimes I forget to check in and just scramble to get my thoughts down before they evaporate?

Me? Thanks for asking I'm emotionally good, physically a bit achey in the hands, neck and shoulders. Winter is not my bodies friend.

Here is how my day usually goes, for anybody that may wonder..

I wake up ridiculously early having about 5/6 hours of sleep. More than that on a good day. I check in with myself before I open my eyes.

How do I feel? Am I in really bad pain? Do I need additional rest? Do I feel alright getting up at this time?

I know that as soon as my eyes pop open and I check the time that I most probably won't be able to return to slumber.

Then if it's after 9am or I feel rested I wake up properly. I reach for my glasses and head to the bathroom to freshen up. 

I don't typically use my face brush in the mornings or even daily. I'm not sure how others use theirs but I don't feel I need too.

My face and skin are pretty good for my age. I stick to a face wash with my hands and that's it.

Hmm honestly I just missed a step. If I want to be transparent, after I reach for my phone and check the time...

I check in with Looney Tunes and collect the rewards ha. Guilty I am obsessed with the game as evident on my twitter account.

Then I see if there are any new penpal email requests, which has not been going well. I don't understand how you can reply to an advert that specifically is not tailored to you?!

I had to make it a bit long to include important stuff and you assume people would scan the relevant bits. Aka what I am looking for...

But nooooo all these random people email, well a few and say.....They don't even put I'm sorry I'm not quite what you are looking for......

Just hey it's me.......Zzzzzz

Moving on with a smile :) I check the blog and see if there were any new hits overnight. Usually there are a few, not always for the latest posts but welcome all the same :)

Then I put my contact lenses on and load up asmr on Youtube in the background. Either I have already written the day's post and just ready to publish it and add the link on twitter....

Or I need to finish it off or like today. I had nothing in mind and just randomly this popped into my head and I thought okay, we'll see if this is piquing anyone's interest today :D

I usually work for a bit and then grab food but today I was more peckish so I made cheese toasties and had it with vimto. 

(My childhood favourite drink). There is just something crisp and flavourful about blackcurrant and berries in general. Lush and refreshing.

Usually while I munch I just put something on. There was no new episodes so I just played an old episode of Hey Arnold. The one wear Grandpa is supposedly croaking.

It kinda struck me how Arnold's grandparents marriage lasted so long. They don't seriously nitpick each other. It's just teasing and a lot of indulgence.

If one or the other is going through something, they let them go with their mood, not try to fix or change it. It just struck me how admirable that is.

Most people just try and help help help but all we need is an active presence just saying I'm around for you, no pressure to talk or be happy, just bear it in mind..... I'm nearby.

Then I'll load up the volunteer thing and see if anyone is in need or any subjects call me. I try to mix up the themes and if I see a familiar name I just won't click on it.

I am not going to be your crutch and I know that whatever I have said has given you the tools to start making a difference. 

One thing that really annoys me is a member not listening at all. If I click on the knowing name and they repeat the whole thing.......

Like I have heard before a dozen times with other members, which is why I don't do it. It's tough to keep my temper in check.

I'll do it but I'll be brash and that person should have someone with a fresh take who has more time and patience.

There are also a fair few people that don't respond and then some time later will try for another chat. 

I used to accept, only for them to not respond once again which is rude and a waste of my time, so if they don't make themselves available the first time around, then their loss.

I don't have endless sympathy and understanding to loiter for a possible response.

My time is the same as yours, valuable. Depending on how that has gone....

Some are good, some terrible. I might need to unwind a bit and listen to music or game for a while and then I'll get started on a new post or the next book chapter.

Today's chat took an hour and I don' usually spend that long. Twenty minutes is supposed to be the norm. Very few are short.

The rough time scale is probably half an hour. I felt like this person needed to talk, more than most, so I allocated more to them.

I have no idea what to write for next week and I am still working on this foodie story but I can't work out if I should make him a good or bad guy.

I have the title ready. It's cute. Usually the time that I stop focusing on what to create, my brain taps me and say ahem...

What about this......? Or this? You could explore that? Have you forgotten about......?

The point is, if you are devoid of inspiration, don't force it, don't put pressure, relax and it will come, I promise :)

Then fast forward to the evening where my eyes are closing but it's too premature for sleep and I'll struggle.

Then when it is bedtime, I'll be wired that's why I can chat for a bit because my brain gets an invisible caffeine boost and I'm hyper.

I guess I am still trying to avoid going to sleep. My dreams are truly all to real and scary. It doesn't feel imaginary, there are details and images that have no place being there.

Then I'll wash my face again. I generally just use the face brush and mask only at the weekends because I want to get the most out of it, like a treat.

It's only if I am having a nasty breakout will I do both mask and brush to clear my face a bit. I still won't leave it on for long. 

Just a minute or so for both of them. I tend to just forget if I leave in on longer and then wonder why my face feels weird haha :D

#BlogLife152 - Am I back to penpalling?

I guess I was feeling nostalgic and visited the sites I used to go on for my penpal needs. They are mostly the same, one has turned more into a paid type of site..

Whereas the other was the same aside from deleting old adverts and mine was one of them. I tried to read what I have written but it was gone.

They want to keep more current ones posted which is understandable. I felt a bit sad though. I mean yes it has been a mixed bag but there were some genuine responses that filtered through also.

This time around I used a different address so I won't clutter my main one with the inevitable spam fest that may or may not follow.

Plus the time wasters that don't read my blurb properly and just want something more romantic..

It is so much easier to place a summary than just wade through the listings hoping someone will reply. It also seems like I am disturbing them, when the post is old.

Maybe there will not be any replies at all, who knows? I definitely want something more gentler and shorter though. Last time it took to much time and it was draining.

That's why I quit. I didn't have time for anything else, it was just too much. Lovely people but mentally exhausting.

That is not appealing anymore. I foolishly left it open, to males and females. Hmmmm.

I posted it tonight so will let you what happens in the future. Anyone want to wish me luck? :D

A quick update. This morning I checked my inbox and I saw about five replies, some were too old, some were lacking details and others were too religious.

I think if I am putting myself out there and writing a detailed note then I expect in the first message to hear something about the person so I can get a sense of them.

I replied to all of the unsuitables one and said they didn't fit my criteria. There is one that has potential but it has been a really rough painful day so I shall reply tomorrow when I am less sore.

If you want to be acknowledged at all, be somewhat vulnerable and give a bit of yourself to the experience. It is not guaranteed to be fruitful but at least you will have a real chance.