#BlogLife87 - Laugh until it hurts! (Woo nots 2)

I feel like there was another underground secret meeting and the leader said.....

Hey lads we took a survey or more likely read a woman's magazine stating women love a sense of humour.

Next time you are out to impress, hammer her with nonstop jokes and I do mean relentlessly.

Do not under any circumstances be serious and make it the cheesiest unfunny banter in the history of the world.

She will not be able to resist such wit. Putty in your hands. I am telling you, this is gold!! Follow my instructions to the tee!!

The reason I say this is because I am getting these types of conversations more and more frequently.

Yes I do love to crack up and joke and be amused but I need to know there is an ounce of intelligence and that you have the ability to share something, otherwise it looks like you are brain dead with no personality.

The trick is balance. Once in a while, sure be silly or unfunny but do not do it constantly. What is wrong with you? Do you know how tedious that becomes, really quickly?

I am already out the door, running to anyone else. The really funny thing about all of it is that I even give a warning to knock it off and it is ignored always.

Then when I exit gracefully. I get a shocked expression and a plea to remain. Pfft.

Turn into better listeners or pick up on evident social cues!! Then maybe a lady will stick around for longer and actually relish your company!

#BlogLife78 - The wrong approach

I was tempted to call this *I'm a ball buster* but considering the recent post joking about DomLife I thought hmmm. Nope lol.

Recently I got this guy who was full of confidence but confusing. 

It was like he had an invisible script writer prompting him. 

Like he had never spoken to a normal female before. As though he escaped from a desert island and was free at last.

He mumbles a nonsensical weird dialogue introduction. I'm baffled but polite and just say hello. 

Then he repeats and apologises for wasting my time. I'm shrugging and saying take care.

Then he says No I won't because I wanna talk, so I'm thinking I need to kill time, why not. 

Then his whole attitude/demeanour alters. Like he reeled in a fish and I'm supposedly a sure thing. 

He starts puffing out his chest and telling me how's he's a ladies man and women are predictable and how he's not to be trusted.

And in my head I'm already rolling with laughter. But I play along, until he slips up. Again and again and again.

I mean the stockings thing really? Rolls eyes. Plus some other things which had me dying. The whole Vicki Michelle look, so I rolled my eyes and said French maid? 

And he said No! However that actually was her look in the show. The man didn't even know what the hell he was saying.

Then he talked about how if he just met a woman he would insist upon visiting her home and I thought what brain-dead female would let a strange weirdo into their home???

I don't even give out my number, let alone my address. Purleaseeee! Who are these illogical women?

I have to believe he is fabricating because that is the only thing that makes sense. He has no authority, no credibility, no assurance about him.

No woman would do anything he suggested. Everything took ages to say and I started questioning things and wow he snapped!!!

You broke my concentration. I don't know where I am. The man was pouting!!

My sides were split at that point, it was hard holding it in.

Then he said you really know how to anger a man don't you? (He actually swore but I cleaned up the language for you).

I replied Kinda and left lolol. I chuckled so hard it hurt. 

Why when you are talking casually, making yourself out to be God's gift to women, do you need to concentrate so hard on your words?? 

How is it, you can't take a joke? The most off-putting thing is a humourless man. Ugh.. 

I'm constantly being weird and having a laugh. I can admit cringey things. It's fine. 

The world didn't end I survived I got over it. Big deal, but the fact he couldn't do that and said your loss... 

That really gave me a fit of laughter. Boohoo whoa is me. I'm really depressed now lol. 

Has he never met a strong woman before? Lol. Alright I'll stop because I can't chortle anymore. It hurts. 

If you insist on speaking to me and trying to chat me up. At least be yourself while you do it. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

I will unravel you and call you out on it. I have bouts of insecurity but there are times when my conviction in myself is sky high.

I can actually live that attitude because I'm not faking it. There are experiences I have gone through which make me tough and strong and I can say yea I'm a beastess because I know stuff inside out.

Be who you are and accept it. You will get a much warmer reaction!